Ep. 1599 – The Good News with Angie Austin – GRACE FOX REAL LIFE STRUGGLES / Kristen Pratt with FosterMore Leadership talking about the Foster Care Crisis
Join Angie Austin as she hosts a heartfelt conversation with Grace Fox, diving deep into life’s real struggles as shared through compelling stories. From personal journeys of letting go to understanding the psychological roots of attachment, this episode is filled with insight and introspection. Discover how faith and perseverance can transform arduous paths into enlightening experiences. The episode also shifts focus to the pressing topic of foster care, featuring expert insights from Kristen Pratt of Foster More. Learn about the challenges and triumphs involved in fostering and how communities can step up to support this vital cause. It’s an
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now with The Good News, here’s Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hello there friend, Angie Austin and Grace Fox. And today we are talking about real life struggles from her book, Fresh Hope for Today, Devotions for Joy on the Journey. Hey Grace. Hi, good to talk to you again. All right, so tell us about real life struggles.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, so I wrote this one after interviewing a friend. Her name was Nancy. She lives in Oregon, actually. And she talked to me about how she and her husband had decided to take a hike. And so they trudged, as she described it, trudged four miles uphill through the forest. And they began second-guessing their wisdom in choosing to do this hike. but she said that they persevered and they got to the top of a, when they got to the top, it was this meadow that was just filled with flowers and glacier fed streams. And she said, it was just so beautiful. They sat down and had a picnic there and thoroughly enjoyed their time. It was that kind of a space where you work so hard to get somewhere. And when you, when you finally arrive, it’s just so beautiful. You don’t want to leave. And that was like their experience. And, And so when I heard her story, I thought, well, that is like real life in that sometimes we end up on a journey that is so arduous. And it’s maybe not by choice, but it’s just something that happens. We end up on this path that is so hard. And we just don’t know that we’re ever going to reach whatever it is we’re trying to reach. But finally, the Lord just brings us into a place of rest. and it’s it’s a place that our soul is longing for after all of that maybe hardship that we’ve just come through but where we can sit down and we can rest and we know that he’s with us and we know that he’s got us and he’s holding us close but wow it’s you know the destination of getting there and experiencing that rest for our soul is good but the pathway to getting there is sometimes really hard
SPEAKER 06 :
Can you think of examples like in your own life where that really applied to you as well? And you’re like, oh, I’m going to write this because I can really relate to this.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, I think that when my husband and I sent the Lord nudging us to purge almost all of our earthly belongings to move aboard our sailboat home. And we didn’t have a boat. It’s not like we had this boat sitting around and we could just move into it. We had to find one that worked for living aboard and find a place to moor it. It was a journey that took a lot of energy mentally and emotionally as I had to part with all of these things that I counted precious. It was a path. It was arduous. And we didn’t have a long time to do it. Once we got on it, once we actually found a boat and bought it, we had like six weeks to get rid of our stuff. And it was a path that wore me out in some ways, just emotionally every day, getting up and sorting again and purging again and saying goodbye again to these things that we’d held dear. But once we completed that and arrived, moved into the boat, settled in, And realize that, wow, you know, like this was a time of really stretching our faith and growing our faith. But we saw God come through. And it was a time of thanking him for that opportunity to walk that tough path. But to come to that place of knowing full well that we had obeyed him completely. And there was peace in that, even though I’d said goodbye to all these things that I’d once held dear, there was peace in my heart and there was joy in having obeyed. And it was something that, yeah, we walked that path and it was hard, but wow, it’s been worth every step.
SPEAKER 06 :
You know, it’s interesting you talk about, you know, peace of letting go of things that you once held dear. It’s so hard sometimes to part with them. And there’s some organizer lady that, you know, basically says, if you feel, if that item brings you joy, you know, keep it. And of course, if it’s something you haven’t, you know, used or worn or whatever for many years, you know, even if you’re like, oh, I might wear that again. There’s really no sense in keeping it. But I wonder why we have such a hard time letting things go. My… Mother-in-law has… The family calls her an organized hoarder. And so she has a basement that’s probably 1,500 square feet. And it’s the most organized basement stuffed to the brim with like 200 purses, you know, 400 pairs of pants. And they’re those stretch pants that… you know like senior citizen ladies wear that you can slide on and have thanksgiving dinner and they still fit just fine in every color of the rainbow and then i’m like well why are there like 20 yellow pairs well she used to be super skinny so there’s like you know three pairs and a size four three pairs and a size six three pairs and i’m not i’m like oh my gosh like you could never if you wore these pants every day like You probably, she couldn’t even wear them like at the end of her life now and go through all those pants. You know what I mean? Like it’s just crazy to me and she won’t let us down there. Like my son really wants to go down there because he’s a thrifter and he’s been allowed down a couple of times like with oversight. Like she’ll be down there with him. And he might get like a hockey jersey that my husband had when he was little. Or this last time my son came home with a stack of photographs of like my husband when he was, you know, a kid and in college. And then some from when we first got married, like probably 50 pictures. So that’s what he came home with. But usually he gets like a little thing. I even got down there. Oh, I couldn’t believe that was allowed down. But I needed one of those like shopping bags kind of like to take on the plane that… you know fooled up and she had some nicer ones down there that were like designed or whatever so I found a small one that you could maybe put like the size of like two bottles of wine maybe so that was perfect for like my snack on the plane I go oh look there’s another one there’s a matching one I’m thinking oh I should take both right she goes oh no no no no no don’t get greedy girl And I’m looking around, right? Even three of the purses that I gave her, they’re just hanging down there collecting dust, right? Like coach bags. And I’m like, are you sure you’ve never used that coach bag? Are you sure you want to keep that? Like I gave that to you 20 years ago. I would definitely use that. Oh, no, no, no, no. And I’m like, what? What is it? I don’t understand the psychology grace behind that kind of hoarding. You know what I mean? And I know they say it can relate back to maybe losses. Like her dad was a police officer and he was killed in the line of duty when she was like maybe 8, 9, 10. And I’ve heard that like losing, like if you lose a child or lose something big, like somehow hanging onto these things. And I know that that’s not like the Christian way to do it. We’re not supposed to get our like comfort and our like, you know, out of things. They’re not supposed to give us like that comfort. Right. But it’s perplexing to me. Like I can’t wrap my head around it, but it’s got to have something to do with it giving you comfort or comfort.
SPEAKER 05 :
um security something like that you know that we’re supposed to be secure through christ but apparently we’re secure through 200 pairs of pants and 200 purses yeah the word security came to my mind as you were talking and i think that’s it is that we look to things for our security but if that house burned down if that house were to burn down today how would she respond right like if she found her security in those things that’d be a significant loss for her But the one thing about hanging on to the Lord and finding our security in him is he’s never going to leave us. Nothing’s ever going to take him away from us. The scripture says in Romans that nothing separates us from his love. And so no matter what happens, even on those tough walks that we take through life, sometimes doesn’t matter where he leads us or what he asks us to go through or what he allows in our life. still we can find hope and we can find peace and we can find joy if our security is in him and not in stuff that can be gone in a heartbeat.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, and I think with so many of the people, I keep seeing these pictures because I’ve got so many friends in the news business in Los Angeles. And one of my girlfriends went out really early this morning. And, you know, I don’t think we can really wrap our heads around the loss that those people experienced, right? And I know everybody says, well, you know, you still have your life and things can be replaced, etc., etc. But it’s a whole… change of like all those lives because it’s not like a house in your neighborhood burns down and oh you get rid of it you rebuild like it’s so toxic up there and now they’ll have problems with mudslides right but your grocery store is gone your library is gone your mechanic is gone all your neighbors homes are gone so like then you go up there and you rebuild and in the midst of all this toxic you know material that’s up there and even working up there you know how how easy is it going to be to get workers that want to go through all this burnt toxic you know you know destruction that they need to throw into a big dumpster and you know start from the ground up and then the soil and i don’t know just that kind of loss um you know, being secure in Christ, we’re supposed to find our security there. But I can imagine when you return to your neighborhood and you don’t even know if there’s a possibility of you rebuilding, like, I’m very curious to see what it’ll be like in 20 years. I’m assuming the oceanfront Malibu homes where those people have money coming out of their ears and they’re like $10 million houses, those will get rebuilt because even if you don’t have insurance money, you’re loaded and you can rebuild. And the people in Pacific Palisades, you know, those are very expensive homes too in the millions, but some of them may have been in a different position of maybe owning it for 30 years and they they aren’t multi-millionaires it just became millionaires because the you know real estate values went up so much but you know i’m just very curious to see what that will be like in 20 or or so years if it is all rebuilt because it is such a prime spot but i sometimes i feel like so the picture that i had when my friend sent all these pictures out today um was of just kind of despair and just kind of like a hopelessness that many of them feel about, you know, where do we go from here kind of feeling. And I think some of us have that feeling about other things in life, you know, where we end of a relationship oh gosh where do i go from here or the loss of someone a loved one you know how do i work my way through this how do i claw my way out of this i just watched a documentary um on avicii this dj who was so talented just oh so talented and he committed suicide and i just thought to myself like gosh, you were such a genius with creating music. If you didn’t want to do those concerts, couldn’t you just stop doing the concerts and just create with other, he was working with the top of the top of the top, you know, musicians. And couldn’t you just do that? Like, couldn’t you see your way out of it? And I know that that’s why we have faith. I know that’s why we have like the Lord to turn to. But I just think people get lost in a sea of despair sometimes.
SPEAKER 05 :
I agree with you on that. I think depression and anxiety are on the rise. And I just want to encourage listeners today to not give up, to keep putting that one foot in front of the other, just like my friend and her husband, as they were going on that path. They didn’t know it was going to be four miles long. They didn’t know how long it was going to take or how arduous, how steep it got. They just heard it was a great path. So, you know, the path that we end up on, we don’t know where it’s going to lead to eventually. We don’t know sometimes how steep it’s going to get. But like these poor people that have lost so much out in California, they don’t know how long this is going to take before they can return to their life or what their life is going to look like. What is their new normal going to be? Where is their workplace going to be? Where are their kids going to go to school? What about their church family if they lost their church? So, you know, everything is disrupted in their lives. But to not give up hope, just every day put one foot in front of the other on that path and persevere because eventually it will even out. We don’t know what that will look like. There are no guarantees, but It’s going to be okay is what we want to say, right? It’s going to be okay.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I always love, you know, your Fresh Hope for Today devotions. That’s the book, Fresh Hope for Today, Devotions for Joy on the Journey. If you want some hope, it’s a great book. Always enjoy talking to Grace Fox. And if you want to find her and her books, you can go to gracefox.com. Thank you, friend. Thank you.
SPEAKER 03 :
Manitou Springs is listening to the Mighty 670 KLT.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 06 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. Well, you know, if you’ve listened to the program over the years, I guess I’ve been on, gosh, radio and TV like 25 years. So many of you know my background and I have a real heart for foster care because I spent some time in foster care growing up and really was appreciative of the families that took me in. Joining us is Kristen Pratt, and she is with Foster More, the leadership team. Welcome, Kristen.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much for having me, Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right, so let’s just start off, first of all, I know that there is a need for foster care. I’ve seen books where it’s like page after page after page of kids that are looking for homes. So is this crisis in America worse now? And just tell us about the foster care crisis in general.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, so… Any given day, it fluctuates a bit, but there are approximately 400,000 children in foster care in America. So it is, it has seen some slight improvements the last few years, but a lot of those kids are experiencing, you know, over two to three placements a year, the majority of them. And so there’s a real need for loving, stable homes for these kids who are facing a lot of obstacles.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yes. Oh my goodness. All right. So I know that you guys do some research and there was a barrier, a significant barrier preventing, you know, families from stepping forward to, I’ll tell you what my mind would be. Well, first of all, I have three teenagers, five pets and off and on my 82 year old mom. But my barrier would probably be my husband. But I might be able to work on him like once the kids are gone, because they’re all in high school now. But the barrier for me is my spouse, like I would do foster care. And I know it’s rough. I don’t have any fairy tale like version of how difficult it could potentially be. So what are the barriers that people see in terms of becoming foster parents?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I mean, that is a barrier, like your spouse, you have to both be on board. But We always tell people, too, there’s a need for foster parents of all kinds, all ages, you know, empty nesters, young people, older people, single people. So there’s really, you know, anyone can step up there. And one of the things that we found that people would say is that they couldn’t take the time off work. So they’d say, well, my job doesn’t allow for me to take that time off work. And, you know, like there’s a lot that goes into that. Um, when the child is placed in the home, not only do you need that time to bond with, with some child who has by definition experienced some trauma, but you also need the time to get them enrolled in a new school and doctor’s appointments and, you know, all the appointments. So you really, it’s important to have that time off when the child joins a home and a lot of businesses don’t provide for that. And it stops a lot of potential foster parents from moving forward when they find out that information.
SPEAKER 06 :
Um, have you, have you, like, is this something that you try to address with businesses to try to, I know that my, my station that I worked for one of the gals on the, one of the weather women, uh, adopted a child and she got, you know, the typical time off that you would get. But in this case it was an infant, but I know some businesses do give you time off, but I would. assume with a single parent that that would just kind of like you know take that option off the plate for them to become a foster parent but do um does the foster care system help with things like um you know daycare if you’re getting like a kid that’s two three four that needs you know daycare during the day they do there are it depends on the state you live in but there are some you know provisions for that and that’s another thing that we work with businesses like if a business has on-site child care um we ask that you know
SPEAKER 04 :
youth in foster care if someone becomes a foster parent their child can be um immediately have access to the to the facility yeah but um yeah one of the things we realized is that a lot of the businesses that were offering like you were talking about adoption paid time off for adoption or birth foster care was just overlooked because yes you know a lot of people think of foster care as a road to adoption. And so they get, you know, the time off when the child is adopted, but you really need that time off when the child is placed in the home. And the child is not always adopted in foster care. About half the time they’re reunited with the parents. So we need all different kinds of homes, people that want to adopt, people that want to be there for a family that needs some support. And so we want to make sure that businesses are specifically giving that time off for just being a foster parent
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, I understand that Foster More is obviously helping with this whole workplace initiative, you know, trying to get places to make it more, you know, user-friendly to become a foster parent. Can you talk about that?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So at Foster More, we have sort of like a ladder of engagement on our website. We try to engage people in all different ways. So, you know, if you want to learn about becoming a mentor for youth in foster care, if you want to have the opportunity to pack a duffel bag or get involved and volunteer in different ways, you can start on our website to do that. And one of the tabs on the website is to become a foster parent, where you can fill out a little form, and then we can connect you with someone, depending on where you live, someone in your local area that can help you learn about becoming a foster parent. And the same thing for the workplace pledge, there’s a tab on the website where you can learn more about If you’re a business owner or an employee and you’re interested in having your business become officially foster-friendly, you can do that on the website, too, and we’d be happy to talk more to anyone about their business becoming foster-friendly.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. I’m just wondering, you know, for people listening today who are thinking about becoming a foster parent, I know a lot of it seems like overwhelming and, you know, all the things you have to tackle to be approved, et cetera. So how do you recommend people get, you know, started on the process? Obviously your website with all the tabs, you know, a really good idea. But how can someone personally, I mean, talking to someone, that’s a great idea that you just gave us. What else?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, well, again, research shows that it takes about 18 months to two years for people. Once they start thinking about becoming a foster parent, you know, do you have the idea to actually become a foster parent? So, you know, it does take, and as it should take a lot of thought for people, it takes a lot of research. So it’s something you can start looking into. It’s a little bit different than requirements in every state. You can start asking people about it. You can look into other ways to, to get involved and volunteer first. I mean, the need is great for foster parents, but if you want to learn more about foster care, you can volunteer. There are tons of amazing organizations all across the country doing great work. You can learn more about how to get involved in different ways. you know, maybe on the path to becoming a foster parent, as well.
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, in your particular case, what I always love to get people’s passion for things, obviously, I’m interested in this topic, because I live with families and relatives, and I only had one, quote, unquote, official foster home, but I had many places where I stayed, you know, so what what what is behind your passion for this kind of work?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I’ve always been involved in working with kids. I have a background in special education and I became a CASA, which is a court appointed advocate. And that’s something people can look into as well, where you support a youth in foster care, you go to court with them and you’re sort of their mentor and their person along the way. And so I learned a lot about foster care that way. And just, you know, the more it’s something that, like I was saying, people don’t talk about that much, but it’s such a big issue. And once you, it’s like you can’t unsee, you know, what you’ve seen and what you’ve learned. And it really requires so many more people to step up in any way that you can. And I think it’s something that you realize, like, we’re all connected to this issue. It’s not just a sort of other or someone, you know, far off that you don’t know. Like you said, like almost all the time, When we talk to people at businesses, we hear stories like yours where it was like I was in foster care. My cousin was in foster care. My parents were. I was a foster parent. And so so many people are connected. And it’s just not only when you provide the workplace benefits, you’re also getting people to talk about it, too, which is so important. And that’s why we really appreciate you having us on, too, so we can talk about it.
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, I’m wondering in terms of I know that there’s like people are thinking, oh, foster care, you know, I’m going to have this kid for 18 years. But there are other, you know, that sounds terrible, but I said it like that. But you know what I mean? Like people are overwhelmed by the prospect of having a child that long or maybe someone, you know, like myself, who’s already raised their kids, who’s maybe looking at teens or something of the sort. I know you can specify what you’re interested in, but is there also like emergency short-term care where you might just have a baby for a week or, you know, like shorter-term options per se? Now, one of my girlfriends, she’s a nurse, her husband’s a doctor. They did have a short-term situation. And then once the little girl had stayed with them for quite some time, she told me, well, we’re going to adopt her. And I was like, wow, like your kids are in college, like yikes. And she said it’s the right thing to do because she’d been with them for so long.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So most places you can sign up for respite care. So that’s basically like giving a foster parent a weekend break or a few day break. Oh, I’ve never heard of that. Yeah. So that’s a really cool way to sort of like dip your toe in and get involved. It’s called respite care. And also there’s a really huge need for people that don’t want to adopt from foster care that they just want to support. Because like I was saying, the goal of foster care, the ultimate goal is is to support whole families so that kids can be reunified. And that, you know, doesn’t always happen. And sometimes, you know, the best situation is for them to stay with the foster parents. But if at all possible, you try to support a whole family so that the child can be reunited with their biological parents. And that requires people to step up temporarily, right? Like that’s so important. And I think a lot of times people think of it more as like a road to path to adoption, which it can be. But there’s a huge need for people that want to just be there and provide a safe, loving, supportive space for a child in the family who’s going through a crisis.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. We only have a couple of minutes left, but I can’t believe I’ve never heard of respite care. Okay. So would you keep the child for the day or is this something like more like several days or do you kind of take them maybe on? I know CASA, they take them on like outings and things like that from their foster situation. So what are the possibilities for respite care for a foster parent?
SPEAKER 04 :
So respite care, you know, I think it depends on each in each state. I think it’s a little bit different, but most of the time it’s, you know, two, three days you’re certified as a foster parent. So you would have to get the certification, like, you know, the cost of you’re not, you have to have like a background check and everything, but you’re not certified as a foster parent. So if you’re doing respite care, you have to go through the whole process of making sure your home is suitable and everything. And then it would be, I think the time really varies, you know, it could be, Two nights, three nights a week. It’s just really that time, like say a foster parent needs a break or is going on vacation or has a family emergency, you know, and they need to go out of town. So someone providing respite care would give them that.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, I think about, you know, business trips. Okay, we have one minute left. Tell me your takeaway. What do you want to tell people that are, like, kind of on the fence? Like, what do you want people to know if you had a one-minute elevator speech to give to us?
SPEAKER 04 :
I think the main thing we want people to know, and this is what we say at Foster Mer, these kids are amazing, and they’re resilient, and they have the potential to overcome anything, and they really just need someone… to step up and be there for them. The outcomes for kids in foster care are not great, and that can change if we as a society and as individuals step up and are there for these kids.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I sure appreciate all that you do. My foster care situation was quite interesting because I come from a family where my dad has his PhDs, well-educated, but we had a lot of, he was estranged from our family for like 35 years. And then one of my brothers was murdered. Another one ended up homeless. Wow. Here I graduated top of my class. I worked full time all through high school and college. So for somebody listening, just the opportunity to stay with my foster family and other families that really cared, I think really made a difference in my life and where my first job was at NBC News out of college in Los Angeles. So thank you, Kristen, for all you do for others. Really appreciate you.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much, Angie. I’d love to hear more about your story.
SPEAKER 06 :
I’d love to talk again. Thanks, Kristen.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
