Ep. 1596 – The Good News with Angie Austin – DR CHERYL LENTZ DOSES OF WISDOM & FAILING TO HAPPINESS / Robin Growley – Less Than Half Of Teens Feel Financially Prepared For The Future
Angie and Cheryl also address the topic of failing forward, highlighting how failure can be a stepping stone to happiness and success. Through personal anecdotes and detailed discussion, they illustrate how rejection and setbacks can lead to unexpected opportunities and life-defining moments. In the later part of the episode, Angie shifts focus to the importance of financial literacy for children, featuring insights from a financial expert. Join this thought-provoking conversation to gain valuable life lessons on resilience, perspective, and financial empowerment.
Welcome to the good news with Angie Austin. Now with the good news, here’s Angie.
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Hello there, it’s Angie Austin and Doctor Cheryl Lentz, the academic entrepreneur with the good news. Hey Cheryl.
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Hey hey hey happy New Year everybody.
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Hey, I’ve got a couple, we’ve got a couple of things to talk about today. You actually want to talk about one of my favorite people, my mentor, Jim Stovall, and one of his books that really connected with you. And then I have a topic that will also connect with you. It’s three ways we failed our way to happiness. But the interesting thing is the first subject deals with this particular author being rejected from seven universities. So being rejected from what they thought they wanted
SPEAKER 05 :
then getting something probably that worked out even better so I know that your career path changed drastically so we’ll handle that next but let’s start with Jim what’s the book that you want to talk about today and what touched your heart so much okay the book is called the gift of a day a hundred doses of winners wisdom I’m on chapter 84 but what I’m going to share with you is chapter 7 he almost brought me to tears as many of his books do and the reason is because what I’m about to read you that was from chapter 7 which describes exactly why I do what I do. And here’s what he said.
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And tell people what you do first. Tell people what you do.
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Oh, I’m sorry. I’m a college professor. I’ve been teaching actually 25 years, both undergrad, masters, and doc students. It was 25 years, January 1st.
SPEAKER 04 :
Okay, perfect.
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So here’s what he says. If we learn something, we change our world. If we teach something, we change another person’s world. But if we teach people to teach, we change the whole world.
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Oh, read it again. That’s good.
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If we learn something, we change our world. If we teach something, we change another person’s world. But if we teach people to teach, we change the whole world.
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Oh, you love that. You wrote to me right away.
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Oh my gosh, I think it’s amazing because it’s kind of one of those, you teach a man to fish, you teach a man to fish, you feed him for today. You teach a man to fish or you give a man to fish, you feed him for today. If you teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Same concept.
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know i uh i was just talking to him about his winners wisdom columns because we you know we actually discuss them every week and sometimes i have them on more than once a week and i’m never bored by that man like he always he’s just so wise to me so i can see why he’s a good author who has written now 60 some odd books but anyway i think it was 40 when i first started interviewing him and then 50 now over 60 and working on his ninth movie and those movies take a long time by the way
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I mean, they really… Well, I think what catches me is his vulnerability because somewhere about halfway through the book, I don’t know if it was 60 or 70 or something, these are just little vignettes, right? That he kind of apologizes for going dark because he had lost his mom. And this is where some of these gifts came from. And he… I thought it was just so strange because Jim knows the gift of vulnerability and yet here he was apologizing to us as his readers thinking, you know… there’s a point at which even I know that I can’t quite go there. And he goes, it took him a while before he could write about it and write about mom. And you could tell how dark he went and then how it is lightened up in his future, you know, after, after she passed. But I thought that was incredibly humble for him to recognize that there is a point that until we can deal with our own grief, that there’s a line, we just have to take a step back until we’re ready, you know?
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You know, since then, he’s also lost his dad now. His dad had some time, you know, where they would have dinner with him every Sunday alone. And he lost him too. But they, you know, they had very long lives. And he had such a great upbringing with grandparents who were really wonderful and wise and parents who were wonderful and wise. And when he found out he was losing his sight, I believe it was as a teenager and then, you know, completely gone in his 20s. just such a support network around him.
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Do you remember what his mom said? And I will remember this. This was also in this book of what his mom told him. Okay, go ahead. It was very specific to his mom when he was losing his sight is to, Take a moment to capture all the things that you can see today to remember how it makes you feel so you’ll remember later or something to that effect. And I sat there, wow.
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And his grandmother told him, well, here’s what we’re going to do. I want to see my spring flowers. I want to go through one more spring season. I’ve seen my flowers and I’ve decided that I’m going to donate my eyes to you. Like she actually thought she could give Jim her sight and give it, but she just wanted to see her spring flowers bloom again. And then she was ready. And he explained to his grandma, you know, he’s probably 17, 18, 19 years old that, you know, that wasn’t technology that, you know, he could take advantage of. But what an unbelievable thing to say. And then when he would come to her, to complain about whatever it may be, like as he had complaints because he was planning to be a professional football player and then became an Olympic weightlifter because he’s like, well, I don’t need to see to lift weights. He would come to her with maybe some complaints or just something that wasn’t agreeable to him. And she said, look, I will listen to all your complaints, but I want you to do your golden list, the 10 things you’re thankful for, and then come on back and we’ll go through the things that you’re not thankful for. And he said once he went through the golden list, he really didn’t have complaints.
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Exactly. Isn’t perspective a wonderful thing when it’s always the comparison to others that always gets me in trouble? And I’ve been trying to break that yardstick for years and it’s so much easier when we look at What we were given, not what others were given.
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Yeah, I love that. Anything else that you really stood out? Because he’s got a whole bunch of these books where he’s taken the winner’s wisdom columns. The camera was four or five, but they’re compilations. And now the profits go towards putting kids through college through the Stolval Center for Entrepreneurship at Oral Roberts University.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, weren’t these his culmination of these were his daily blogs and he made a book out of it? Because I did that once with my blog when I had it because people were asking about specific themes they themed together. And we put it all together to make that book. But weren’t these just a compilation of all of his blogs at one time?
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These are his weekly column, and they’re called Winner’s Wisdom. And every week he joins me to discuss that week’s column. And they decided fairly early on to start turning them into a book. He was surprised at how many organizations wanted to air them once he got going. And he has quite a wide distribution list for those. But then he compiles them into books when he’s done.
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Well, and it is so sweet because they’re very short. They’re very sweet. And sometimes I can, you know, I will do two or three. Sometimes I’ll do an hour of them. And again, I think I’m on 84, so I’ve got 16 more to go, but it’s just little things in our, I like the fact that there’s one thing for you to think about, and then you can read it in the morning, kind of like you do your prayers and your meditation. And then you let that be your theme for the day. And you just look, and it is amazing when I have done that or two or three of them, who pops up in my world that I need to share it with? And I’m just like, Jim, you are a master. I don’t know how you did it, but the timing was amazing that I needed exactly what I needed to be because it’s like, we always remember, right? When the student is ready, the teacher appears. I think when the teacher is ready, the student appears. That is amazing because oftentimes I would be sharing this. I’m like, Oh, something I can use for class later. And there was just that right person who needed to hear just that thing that day. And I’m like, wow, I get chills sometimes. It’s kind of interesting.
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I love that. I love that. I wanted to talk to you, too, about this article that it’s in that on that website, Mark and Angel, that I like. And it’s three ways we failed our way to happiness. So Mark talks about. how he was and they’ve written a lot of books too like getting back to happy a thousand little habits of happy successful relationships you know they write about you know a lot of positive things in your good morning journal um and so he talks about how um he was rejected from seven universities when i was 18 he says i wanted to be a computer scientist so i applied to seven universities known for computer science mit cal berkeley georgia tech etc but i got rejected by all of them And soon thereafter, a high school guidance counselor told me to apply to the University of Central Florida in Orlando, which had a really fast growing, rapidly growing computer science and engineering program. And he said out of desperation, he did since he’d been rejected in so many places. He was accepted and he got a scholarship. And he said that that move actually changed his life because he met Angel there. and he met a professor who convinced him to switch from the School of Computer Science to the School of Computer Engineering with a strong focus in web design and technical writing, two skills that he uses today to run the blog Mark and Angel, which is very successful, and their books have been as well, and they have a lot of people that subscribe to their blogs as well. I just find their website to be very inspirational, but I thought… that’d be a great topic for you because he said he hadn’t been rejected. If he hadn’t been rejected by the seven universities, his life wouldn’t have really been the same. It would have been dramatically different. So tell everybody about your failing to success.
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Oh my goodness. My infamous TED talk. Yes. I was at the university as a sophomore student and I had been accepted provisionally and I was in the only undergrad and a graduate program. And my professor came to my practice room one day and said I was done and walked out. And that was that. And I had no warning. I had no inkling this was about to happen. And as a musician, when you’re in a program like this, you are supposed to take your juries, which is simply a proficiency exam, a recital, if you will, to be able to move up to be an upperclassman. I was never even allowed to make my case. I wasn’t allowed to perform. I wasn’t allowed to take my jury. That day was just the day it ended. And it was such a I remember sitting there in shock and even to this day, 40 years later, I can still hear the click behind the door because it was such a profound moment and it was hard for me initially. And then eventually I got angry and then I went and did something about it, which was go to my counselor to find out how I could still graduate in four and a half years. And that’s what it took is about four and a half years, a couple of summer schools so I could readjust my major so I could still graduate because I had been playing since I was five years old. There was no plan B. I never thought I needed one, right? But that forced pivots. was something that had I not been able to do that, or had I been not been forced to do that, that I could have been just another out of broke musician who was nowhere near. I mean, he was training Olympians and he has a grad students that are probably playing around the world. Like, you know, the consistency of the Royal Albert hall or, or Notre Dame or Holy name cathedral, any of those big dogs. And they’re in, I would have been just the weekend church organist, which is still adequate, but certainly not what he was interested in. But my career took off into ways I could not even imagine. And now I teach failure, which I think is kind of ironic as well as he did. So you have to listen. The universe often puts me where we are needed, not necessarily where we’re wanted to be. And so you bloom where you’re planted and let God do the rest.
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Boy, I just thought I knew that would resonate with you, what they said. And I use Mark and Angel’s articles a lot. And he talked about how this all started for them because they’ve been on the Today Show, they’re bestselling authors. I mean, they’ve really had a lot of success with this particular website and what they do as life coaches. So number two for him, your writing is not good enough. While in school, I started enjoying my technical writing classes so much, I decided to take a few creative writing electives too, says Mark. I absolutely fell in love with writing inspiring stories and expressing myself. So I applied for a part-time editorial position at the school newspaper. I sent them five articles I had written along with my application. Two days later, I received an email which cordially explained that my writing was not good enough. That afternoon, I went home with a bruised ego and told Angel what had happened. She hugged me and said, regardless of what anyone says, if writing makes you happy, you should keep writing because that’s what happy writers do. They write. And after a bit more discussion, she added, I like writing too. We should start our own little writing club and write together. A few minutes later, Angel and I turned on my computer and registered the domain name markandangel.com and our blogging days began. In other words, if my five articles hadn’t been rejected by the school newspaper, the article you’re reading now would never have been written in all of their books and articles all of their, I mean, they do so much. They’ve become so successful. I mean, to get interviewed on the Today Show for their work is really quite something. So we’ve got about 45 seconds, but I’m going to keep you over and we’ll keep discussing this article. But go ahead. We’ve got about 30 seconds.
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The realization to understand the gift that failure gives you is something that I applaud their effort because a lot of folks don’t think it’s stuck there. And I think this is important to discuss.
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We’re going to talk next, too, in the next, we’re going to finish this because there’s another part to this, which is called Fired for Doing the Right Things. And this is three ways we failed our way to happiness or three ways we failed our way to success. And then we’re going to discuss something that’s close to my heart, and that is educating your kids about finances and ourselves, for that matter, as well. We always have something to learn. We’ll be right back with Dr. Cheryl Lentz.com. That’s our website.
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Hey, welcome back. Angie Austin here with Dr. Cheryl Lentz, and we’re talking about three ways we fail our way to happiness or three ways we fail our way to success, per se, which I knew would resonate with you, Cheryl.
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Oh, absolutely. The queen of failure. Sometimes I wasn’t enough to do it the first time. I had to do it twice.
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What would you say would be your twice?
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When I was divorced twice, I’ve had some rejections from… All kinds of, you know, university type things. So there are things that I’ve done more than once because apparently I didn’t learn the first time is my point.
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Oh, you are so funny. You crack me up. Well, we’ve been talking about getting fired for doing the right thing. I felt sometimes like. Women, when they stand up for themselves, sometimes in a workplace, they’re considered the B word, but men are considered sometimes strong leaders. Like I worked with a guy that was so bossy and pushy and arrogant, but brilliant. And everyone just respected him so much. But if I said the same thing in a meeting, it was not, it was not. Yeah.
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Not well received.
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No, I understand.
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Only one time I’ve ever quit a university. It took me three months to do it because I was quitting for the right thing. And it was a hill I was willing to die on. And I’m willing to do it again. My integrity is not for sale. But it’s hard to need the bills to be paid.
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They changed my job during my maternity leave, but I had a contract. And then they also wouldn’t honor my clothing allowance that was in my contract. And so both of those things, they were legally responsible for doing that. So I talked to an attorney, especially about the changing my job while I was on maternity leave. And I’d had two other incidents which were clearly sexual harassment that I never pursued. um once i was on tv and i jumped off something um while i was doing the weather and my my my jacket the buttons popped open and then you could see my bra well you know that’s obviously embarrassing but okay fine it’s a one-time deal it’s over like we laughed about it ha ha ha Then I was at Broncos, the stadium where the Broncos playing. We were there for a soccer game or something and I was doing the weather or some coverage. And I was on the field and when I looked at the TV monitor, it was looping me jumping down and my shirt popping open and it was looped. So my shirt was popping open over and over and over again. And so it was like on closed circuit, right? But other people within like the station and within the building that we’re working on this particular live feed, they could all see it. And I didn’t pursue that at all. And then there was another incident where one of the reporters dressed up as me for Halloween and said it was because I was so popular on the air. And it was kind of like a stripper weather woman where like he had a big boobs and people were stuffing dollar bills down the front of his bra. And then they shared pictures at work and they were like, well, this isn’t a work incident because I did complain. You know, I was so embarrassing. They were always laughing about it. And like he was an alcoholic. So what am I going to dress up like a drunk reporter? You know, I mean, it was like so ridiculous. And that’s what he said, too. He’s like, they make fun of me for being drunk. And I’m like, I absolutely do not make fun of him for being drunk. We just know that he is drunk when he goes on the air sometimes. But I don’t make fun of him. You know, and so I didn’t pursue that in any way, shape or form, you know, legally, but I did say, hey, I have a right to keep my job while I’m on maternity leave. And they gave me a two-year contract, but I said, well, I know that I won’t get for me not to go after them. You know, they just said, sure, we’ll give you a two-year extension, but… I knew that was the end of the line for me that, you know, once they gave me that two years and I wasn’t going to pursue them legally because that was the agreement that I knew I’d be gone. But I never pursued the two other things which were clearly inappropriate. So I did actually lose my job per se by doing the right thing, I think, by saying you have to honor my contract.
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You shouldn’t have to choose between doing the right thing and doing your job. And many people often do, even if it’s fought in the court, you may lose the battle, but you lose the war too. And it’s just such a sad thing that that’s what people have reduced themselves to do when we just can’t all just play nice in the sandbox. There are certain lines in decorum, but I’m not sure we teach that anymore. And it’s really kind of sad people choose to behave that way.
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You know, I know someone that told someone they had to come into work every day. And we’re almost out of time. I guess it’s almost here. But they had to come in the office every day, and he didn’t want to. So he created, he fabricated a sexual harassment thing and said one of the male bosses was touching him, which was a complete lie. But it was the day after he was asked to come in the office every day. And so, of course, they said, well, you don’t have to come in the office. You know what I mean? Like he won. Convenient, huh? Yeah, I just thought, wow, I could never live with myself to make false accusations about someone to quote unquote get my way. All right, Cheryl, give us your website. DrCherylLentz.com DrCherylLentz.com Well, you know, you and I are both fiscally responsible. You’re a single woman. I was single well into my life. And if you are just joining us, this is Angie Austin with The Good News. And we talk a lot about being, you know, financially responsible, preparing for the future. And, you know, I have three teens and I work with them all in order to set them up for financial success. And did you know that less than half of teens feel financially prepared for the real world? Well, joining us today is an expert in finances, Robin Growley, head of consumer deposits at Bank of America. Welcome, Robin. OK, so as I mentioned, Robin, I’ve got the three teens, so I’m really in the thick of it with all of this. So let’s just start off, first of all, like why is it important to start talking about money with our kids at a young age? And, you know, how should we get them started?
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Sure. So at Bank of America, we found that half of teens feel financially prepared for the real world when they leave for college. So that just tells us right now that we need to have more financial management conversations, you know, earlier and often, right? And then also, as we talk to many of our clients who are parents, we hear that they feel like they bear the burden to a certain extent or the responsibility of teaching children around financial literacy. So they know they want to help, but sometimes they just don’t know how to go about it and how to get started, right? So I always say, you know, first things first, keep things simple, right? Start by incorporating… financial lessons into everyday activities. So you can really help your child, your youth, your young adult to grasp the concept of money. I am, I’m a mom. I have 10 year old twin boys who are involved in many sports. And we always get the questions around, Hey mom, I want the new basketball bat or new baseball bat. I want the basketball shoes. And my little guys have been working towards saving for basketball shoes. And just last night, we finally went out and bought the basketball shoes. And, you know, I was so proud of them because they, They saved all of what they needed to buy these shoes. And all along the way, we were able to have the conversations around their savings goal. And if they saw something else they wanted, like the t-shirt, I’m like, is that really more important than the basketball shoes? You get to make the decision. So really connecting with them on a topic related to financial management, but in a way and around something that’s meaningful to them, like the basketball shoes. So I think about those as teachable moments. It’s a really simple way to get started. And those teachable moments happen every day, right? Whether we’re out grocery shopping or going to the restaurant, buying ice cream or basketball shoes, we can have that dialogue and conversation and really start to connect with our children on financial management.
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I love that. I love that. What about, you know, setting financial resolutions like together? Like I liked, I obviously pay for the big vacations, but I have them save for like their spending money. I don’t want to be like penny nickel dimed for like, I want this thing at the dollar store. I want this shell. I want this ice cream cone. It’s like, oh, deal with your own little purchases, you know? So I try to get them to save for that. What other kinds of financial resolutions do you like families to set together?
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, well, number one, kudos to you on the shared savings goal. I love that for the family vacation. That’s one of the best ways to make sure everyone’s thinking about this vacation, especially as you know, it’s expensive, right? I love how you’re managing that. The other thing I would say is just think about improving financial literacy, right? Creating that safe environment, age appropriate to have conversations online. on financial management, because in so many instances, as adults, we’re like, oh, you know, finance is a really personal topic. We don’t want to talk about it with anybody. We don’t really want to share, right, those types of things. But in order for children to learn, we’ve got to create that safe environment so they can hear that we actually have to pay for the car, right? We have to pay a mortgage payment. We have to pay for the electricity. Those things are not free, right? Or the cell phone that they’re using, those are not free. And so creating that safe environment and giving them just awareness and understanding the cost of things and ultimately how they will grow and need to participate in that is so critical. The other part, I think so much is we say, oh, well, I’m saving to buy the basketball shoes, right? What do I want to buy for myself? But we sometimes need to flip that equation and talk a bit about charitable giving, right?
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Yes.
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Helping our children understand that it’s not just about what they want to buy. How can we give and support others? And so charitable giving builds that empathy, reinforces the shared values as a family. And so having the conversation and talking to your child about, well, what really means a lot to you, right, in terms of giving back, that’s just another great way to, again, create awareness around financial management. But it’s not just about them buying something for themselves.
SPEAKER 04 :
I like that. You know, and the pride they feel as well. And I know my son’s a little bit unusual. He’s a freshman in college, and we just moved him up. He was commuting. We moved him up to CU Boulder, and he’d been in a car accident, but it was our car, right? And it’s the other person’s fault, so… were going to get the money back from the car but i’m like but that’s not for you to buy whatever you want right that’s our money well he said well you know he’s been saving he’s been running his business since he was 12 so for seven years so last night on his own he’d been researching the cars he paid cash for the car he got the bill of sale and he got the pink slip now we’ll of course help him with the insurance because you know at his age i can’t even imagine without us what that would be but he’s also saved and i know this sounds crazy but it sounds crazy to me a down payment for a house in boulder which we’re not going to get yet because we’ll have to do the loan obviously but he has the 20 down and so we’re going to buy the house at the beginning of next school year But then I have faith and hope was 15 and 17. We were at a high end like resort just so we could use the water park over break. And so we gave hope the check and we said, here’s how you fill it out. This, that, and the other. And like, she is so not her brother. We were sitting by the pool and 20 minutes later, we see our waitress running for us. Why is she running for us? And she said, hey, did you guys mean to leave a credit card for the bill? And so we look at Hope because we’ve given, she has a credit card now and Hope’s like, oh, you have to leave it. And I’m like, well, you’ll leave it and they bring it back to you per se. You can’t just take it when they bring you the bill. They’re on totally different levels of understanding finances. And I guess we have to give ourselves a break because some kids really get it. And the minute she has a dollar, we don’t know what happened to it. It’s gone, but she had a great time. You know what I mean? She knows how to have a good time. But her brother saves every dollar he ever makes. So what are some of the tools and resources that you guys have there at BVA for parents to help them with their kids and with finances to help them learn how to manage money?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, you know, I love your story. Those are great, and you’re right. I mean, you see, whether it’s our children, youth, young adults, everyone kind of learns at a different pace, and they have different tendencies of whether they’re the saver or the spender. But I think underneath all of that, one of the most important skills is learning to budget, right? And so developing a realistic budget early on, whether you’re a saver or a spender, whatever that may be, having that budget will really help you keep grounded and And then help you achieve your financial goals, right? And sometimes if we’re the, you know, have more of a tendency to spend, that can help us get back on track more easily too, right? So I would say most important resource you can do is really help find a budget. And that can be as simple as literally getting out a piece of paper and a pencil and starting that budget, right? The inflows that you have coming in, the outflows that you have going out. and where do you need to kind of budget and adjust, right? And then revisiting that with your teen, you know, your youth, your young adult. And of course, a budget at that age should be pretty simple. And it’s more about just the habit of getting into budgeting and being thoughtful about your finances. So I think that’s number one. And then I would say number two really is giving the children the hands-on experience. And so I think in both of the examples you shared, those are phenomenal because you gave your child that opportunity to have the hands-on experience. And so At Bank of America, one of the ways that we continue to foster and support our families, it’s all around our Safe Balance for Family Banking account. And that really is a parent-owned account. It has flexible financial controls. So depending on the age of your child and where you are, you may want to ensure that they’re spending here or not spending there. And so those controls are there to help support the family. And then also there’s an age-appropriate digital banking experience, too. The child can have the debit card. And then there’s financial literacy resources. So it really is packaged, if you will, to be able to support the family, be able to support the youth and young adult, wherever they are along that financial spectrum, to ensure they have all of those tools and resources to be successful in their financial journey.
SPEAKER 04 :
I love that. I love all of your ideas and good luck with your kids too. Oh, by the way, this baseball bat that my kid wanted was $500 and he doesn’t even play baseball anymore, but I was able to find it like resale, you know, for like 60. I cannot believe how much, how expensive sporting equipment has gotten. All right. Thank you so much for your tips and give us the website one more time.
SPEAKER 06 :
Sure. Bankofamerica.com forward slash family banking.
SPEAKER 04 :
Awesome. Really fun. I love talking about finances. It’s so important. Thanks, Robin.
SPEAKER 06 :
Okay, take care, Angie.
SPEAKER 04 :
You too.
SPEAKER 01 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
