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Dive into the profound insights shared by Angie Austin and Jim Stovall in this episode of The Good News. The duo discusses the significance of companionship, drawing from the extensive findings of the Harvard Study on happiness. Discover why lasting happiness is tied to meaningful relationships, and learn how social fitness and volunteer work can enhance your life and that of those around you. Through a heartfelt conversation, Angie shares personal anecdotes and a revelation about her daughter's compassion, shedding light on the complex dynamics of friendships and family ties. Jim contributes his wisdom on the unsuspected impact of the people we surround ourselves with, urging listeners to evaluate their social circles. This episode underscores the importance of nurturing connections and creating valuable experiences over accumulating material wealth. Listeners will also benefit from a profound discussion on unconditional love and its implications within familial relationships. The episode concludes with practical advice and resources for fostering healthier relationships with children, highlighting ways to address subconscious influences on behavior and building a home grounded in love. Tend to these insights and find out how to enrich your life's journeys with heartfelt experiences and enduring companionship.
SPEAKER 01 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here's Angie.
SPEAKER 02 :
Hey there, it's Angie Austin and Jim Stovall with The Good News, and we are talking about companionship, and what a great time of year to talk about that, as many of us will have extra companionship with Christmas and New Year's, et cetera. I know we're traveling, so we'll be with additional family and many people having family come to them. Hey, Jim, what's this all about, companionship?
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, it's based on one of your and my favorite things, the Harvard study. And the research goes back 75 years, multi-generational. It's the most significant and wide-sweeping human behavior study ever done. And what they were trying to find is what makes people happy. And they were looking, does money make you happy? Does fame make you happy? All these various things. And what they found was the thing that makes us most happy long-term are good quality long-term relationships or companionship. And that's what really makes us happy. Money beyond just making a living and providing your necessities really doesn't make you happy. And fame actually long-term has been shown to be something that makes us unhappy. But friends, family, good quality companionship is what really makes the difference.
SPEAKER 02 :
And, you know, when I was reading this, again, the everyday, a little bit more in depth, you know, they talk about, you know, social fitness. And part of what goes into that, that you have talked to me about over the years is, you know, like I say, somebody's feeling down. You're like, if you're feeling down, the best way to feel better is to do something for someone else. And part of this Harvard happiness study kind of relates back to interactions with others, including volunteer work. And, you know,
SPEAKER 03 :
interacting with your society and creating connections of value where you may doing good things for uh for others yeah you know we need to realize that everyone in our lives either makes a deposit or emotionally makes a withdrawal in our account but if we want to build up ourselves and take control of that all we need to do is do something for someone else and it's you know certainly you can volunteer or take a part-time job and help others but many times it's as simple as uh dropping someone a card, making a phone call, simply just being kind to someone, that there was really no reason to do it. And these are the people that can really make a difference for us while we're serving them. It's interesting. We find what we need at the point of fulfilling someone else's need.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, yeah. And that's something I've talked about lately, you know, with my kids getting older, you know, what's the next thing, you know, I'll do, like you said, maybe take a part-time job or, you know, volunteer. And what else are you teaching us in the column this week?
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, we need to realize, too, that, you know, when we look at the quality people, the people that are going to be in our inner circle, you know, we need to be cautious. You know, we become like the five people we spend the most time with. And, you In my Words That Shaped Our World book series, we've looked at all these famous people and the things they said, and then the researchers have brought me these things. Here's some wonderful sayings from people that are unknown. If they did anything else in their life, we're not aware of it, but they said something. And there was a guy named John... Vincenzo Ravina, and he lived several hundred years ago. And all we happen to know about him is he said, a boar is someone that deprives us of solitude without giving us any companionship. And you know, you and I have always been around people like that. There are people that just, they take up space and they take up our energy, but they really don't feed our souls. Now you can help these people or you can serve them in some way or volunteer, but But if you're going to look at the people you spend your quality, consistent time with, it needs to be someone that is significant, that has those things you want to be like. And, of course, in my case, it starts with marrying your best friend. If you can find that at home, man, if you wake up with that every day, that is the greatest way to start.
SPEAKER 02 :
I know, I love it when you talk about Crystal because you can tell how happy you are with her and your relationship is. So yeah, I'm with you on that one. Definitely marrying your best friend. As I've been doing all this research on the happiness study, because I'm like, there's got to be more to it than just like having good friends. But one of the articles I read had to do with doing like an x-ray of your relationships to make sure that it has some of the positive components. And with the teenagers that slept over at our house last night, it was so loud and we were... in the living room and they were laughing and doing whatever but there was a friend in the group and it had been these four girls and that third girl tried to pair off a few of the girls and just have one best friend and that happened for like a year and it wasn't my daughter that was uh she was ditched and then another girl that was there was ditched So finally, everybody ended up ditching her because it was very caustic. I called it emotional blackmail. If you don't follow my rules, then I will punish you. If you don't do something with me on a certain night, then I'm not going to speak to you. If you don't invite me to have dinner with your family, then I'm going to ignore you in the halls the next day. So I was explaining to the girls it's a form of emotional blackmail. And this particular girl had been quite mean to my daughter on her volleyball team this season, really making sure she was excluded. And I couldn't believe my kid, even though all that was going down, she was voted like the most, the coach said she was the most positive girl on the team. And I'm like, how did she do that? You know, in this environment where this girl wanted her to be excluded from team bonding and all those other things. So anyway, she posts something the other day and she says, the mean girl, you know, I don't have any friends anymore. I'm, you know, so sad, you know, life is worthless, this and that. So I, of course, reached out to her mom and her mom says to me, your daughter already reached out to her. Like I knew about this, you know, Hope called her and I'm like, my kid is amazing. Like after the treatment she received, she's still looking out for this girl, you know? And so anyway, having this discussion with all these kids, you do kind of have to do an x-ray on your relationships to see which ones really are making you happier and which ones might be emotionally abusive. And then as I've been going through other things, I'm like, it's got to be more than just the relationships. I mentioned to you about the connections, you know, staying connected. And I found it. And then another one suggested to me, you know, raise your hand. And under that one, that's where I found the Volunteer Match Network website. where it will match you with a potential volunteer activity. And, you know, whether I do this now or when the kids all graduate, because they're all at home right now. And one of them was to be able to take my dogs that bring me so much joy to others to bring them joy, whether it be... at a hospice or a kid's reading or, you know, someplace where they could work with children who are having some difficulties on the spectrum, etc. And then there were a few more that stuck out to me. Jim, find your inner child. You know, going out, maybe doing some fun things. My girlfriend's in her 80s. She was a teacher. And we just talked this week about how she goes on field trips. I'm like, you're always posting these things on social media. Like she went to the puzzle factory, the candy factory, you know, the Mother Cabrini Shrine. She goes, yes. Yes. She was one of my favorites. John Wooden says, if you're not learning, you're dead.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, it's what he always said. And the good coach lived to be almost 100, a couple months short of being 100. And he was learning right up until the end. So, you know, it's an amazing thing. And we need to be careful about the people we spend time with. And you want to be around people that make your world bigger. They bring you information. They bring you inspiration. And they don't cut you off from other people. There's a couple of national organizations in the television industry that have political ties. And they contacted me recently and said, which one of these two groups are you a member of? I said, I'm actually a member of both. They said, well, that's impossible. We don't allow you to be a member of our group if you've joined their group. And I said, well, you took my money. But if you don't allow me to be a member of your group, if I'm a member of theirs – then I'll be a member of theirs because they're not trying to limit my world. Wow. People that do that to you, you need to be very cautious because it's conditional. And any time a relationship or love or friendship is conditional, you need to avoid that. Yes. It needs to be unconditional. One of the greatest quotes I ever heard, I won the International Humanitarian the year after Mother Teresa. And she said something to me I will never forget. She said, Jim, unless you love everyone unconditionally, you really don't love anyone at all. And wow, that was a tough thing. I thought that's one of those things initially you think that cannot be true. And then you think about it a minute and you realize that has to be true. I mean, if there's any conditions at all, it's conditional. So your love and your acceptance and your friendship, they have to be unconditional. They can't limit other people. They can't do now. Now, respect and honor and those things, those are conditional. But your kids, your family, your friends need to know that I love you unconditionally. I may not like you. I may not respect some of the things you do. But I will always love you and care about you. But, you know, these other things, the likability, the respectability, those things you have to earn.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah. And, you know, we were talking to me and the girls. My son was there, too, because, of course, the girls are super cute, you know. So, yeah, he was hanging around. He's like, I'd like to go for ice cream. I'm like, I'll bet you would. But we were talking about, you know, different experiences with people and we were talking about controlling friends. And I said, being friends with someone who is controlling is exhausting. I'm sure it's exhausting for them, but it's certainly exhausting for me. And it's certainly exhausting for you. And so we were talking about that, you know, like gauging a friendship and the value in it that oftentimes there is. a subordinate friend and then the dominant friend that you know you will do as i tell you to do we'll go visit the places we want to visit we'll eat lunch where i want to eat lunch and it's tiring for that for the underdog too you know to be in that relationship and as i was going through all these harvard happiness you know the little kind of idiosyncrasies of their research Um, besides the find the inner child, which is so fun to do, like we're doing some, we're going to Phoenix. We're going to see my brother. He was in the, he went to West Point Military Academy. And so he's jumped out of a lot of the planes. They're at the plane museum and he and my, my husband just love this bonded over the planes and. the stories and how much my brother knew about them. My brother's just a genius anyway. And so my husband wants to go back. That's their inner child where they get to go and see airplanes and walk around in the gravel. And then invest in experiences. Well, that's kind of what we're doing for Christmas. That's what I like to do. That's my present is that we're going to go to Phoenix and we'll see my mom and we're going to see murals and we're going to A Phoenix Suns-Denver Nuggets game, and we're going to see the women's Division I basketball game, which, by the way, $18 plus a $5 fee, so $23. And I got my daughter, who plays basketball, a front row seat on the court. Now, with the Nuggets-Phoenix Suns game for... $200 I can't get out of the nosebleed section and then if you want to sit down there it's like three four or five thousand dollars it's unbelievable to me I had not bought an NBA ticket and so we are gonna have some experiences but maybe not any that are quite that expensive well any experiences you know there's only three things we can do with our money and you know we can save it we can invest it we can give it away and you know spending it on stuff
SPEAKER 03 :
may seem the most immediately fun and exciting, but they have found long-term that investing and saving it is more powerful, but the most powerful thing we can do with our money is buy an experience. And it's so amazing because you realize, man, that vacation I took, it's gone, but it stays with you. You will always have that experience.
SPEAKER 02 :
know you go buy a new pair of shoes or whatever they wear out or they're gone or whatever happens to them but uh having that experience is something no one can ever take away from you i love that one more thing my girlfriend in her 80s who does the field trips and has these experiences told me she said um that she doesn't like to exercise she had a heart attack you know 20 years ago columbine she taught one of the shooters in columbine and knew one of the teachers and that day when she found out about that she had a heart attack i said how have you lived in such a healthy manner all of these years since Columbine, since you had your heart attack. She said, I don't like to walk, but I like to see green. And so I get outside and I walk in the green. And I thought, you know what? That always cheers me up, too, to get out there and see green and get out amidst the outdoors. We're going to go see the Saguaro National Park with those amazing cacti, cactuses that grow to be just so enormous. And then breaking up your routine, doing, you know, different things, changing things up a little. Well, Jim, it's always so fun to have you on the program. Jim Stovall dot com. I hope you have a really merry, merry Christmas.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, same to you and your family. And let's all go build relationships and experiences.
SPEAKER 02 :
Let's do it.
SPEAKER 03 :
Manitou Springs is listening to the Mighty 670 KLT.
SPEAKER 02 :
Hello there, friend. It's Angie Austin and the Kid Whisperer, Jeff Schott. And we're talking today about raising kids and his book, What's Really Causing My Kids Bad Behavior. And this week we are on Chapter 2, which is Unconscious Thoughts and Feelings Impact Upon Behavior. Welcome back, Jeff.
SPEAKER 04 :
It's great to be back with you, Angie.
SPEAKER 05 :
I appreciate it.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, raising kids, you know, with Jesus, it's interesting. You know, I get to talk to so many interesting people. And I went to a Christmas party for my station. And one of the guys that has worked there for 30 some odd years, Charlie. Hey, Charlie. He came up and said, Angie, you've just had the best guests on lately, very interesting authors and interviews. And you were one of them, Jeff. And then I think I told you about my friends Margie and Don Cook. I interviewed them first, maybe 12, 13 years ago, and they'd retired and lived in Hawaii, but decided to move to India and build houses for widows because they're basically sent off to die they don't get remarried uh after the tsunami they went to help um years ago and they said oh yeah everybody gets rice but the widows we just really don't want them to live here we'd rather they go away so you know basically we starve them that's fine with us and so that's how they started doing this so anyway it's a real privilege to get you know so many wonderful people like you margie don and all the others i interview every week on the show and to kind of spread the you know the word of the lord and what you guys are doing and out there.
SPEAKER 05 :
It's a big blessing to the body of Christ and to us.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, with your child rearing, it's an eye opener for me the last few months that you and I have been doing interviews because I think I put the Lord in my child rearing. But when I talk to you, I realize I could do it more so. And it's definitely a softer hand than I think my husband and I have with our child rearing techniques. So as we get into chapter two of what's really causing my kids bad behavior, Jeff also, by the way, talks a lot about all of the research and the interviews he's done with kids, et cetera, about how they feel about how they've been raised and how they, you know, just their feelings in general. We don't often get inside these kids' heads and find out what they're thinking. And chapter two is unconscious thoughts and feelings impact upon behavior. So let's get started.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I think this is one of the biggest ones that probably really mystifies parents and frustrates us and leads to reactions and conflict with our kids is Oftentimes we'll come to our kids, something's gone wrong, we'll give them information. We believe the situation's going to change, and then it doesn't. And then we come at it a little harder, and it doesn't change again. And then we come at it even harder, and it doesn't change again. And what we found from the research and from working with families with struggling kids, which we do a ton of, is that the kids often are sitting on the other side going, I'm trying to change this. I'm trying to change this. I can't change it. I don't have a clue why. And the parents are frustrated because it should just be a simple decision. But what we don't realize is only 5% of thoughts and emotions are actually conscious. Psychology has proven this.
SPEAKER 02 :
Repeat that. Say that again.
SPEAKER 04 :
Only 5% of thoughts and emotions are conscious. 95% are unconscious. And what causes that is the brain that we think with, that we're very conscious of, operates at a very high speed. But the unconscious brain actually operates at almost 10 times that speed. Oh my goodness. The conscious brain can't keep up with the unconscious brain. Oh my goodness. There can be tons of stuff churning in the unconscious. That is emotional, that leads to triggers, that leads to decisions. And one of the things we found really funny almost in the research is we tend to approach kids like they want to they want to go mess up their lives. We're always, you know, he's that fun. Yeah. And they really don't do they. No, what we found in the research was, heck no, there wasn't a single one of them that said, I got up one morning and said, I want to screw up my life today. I'm going to go smoke, and I'm going to go do drugs, and I'm going to go have sex. I'm just going to go do it all today. Not a single one of them happened. As we talked to them about the path that started them down the wrong road, it was like, there was this small issue, and I couldn't change it, and my parents were getting upset with me and coming down on me, and I was hurt, and I was frustrated, and I distanced from God, and I took another step down the wrong road. And it was all because they didn't understand why they couldn't change it. It was making them more negative and frustrated with themselves, which drove them more and more towards more escape behavior. And it was because there were things going on unconsciously that we haven't been trained as parents to help our kids figure out. We're taught to just tell them, expect them to do it, and make them do it through our consequences and our pressure or our lectures. And the reality is, if our kid doesn't understand why what's happening is happening, they can't change it. And we have to be able to get underneath with them and ask them questions and help them dig and go okay you made this mistake three times what's going on inside how are you feeling you know what what happened in the 24 hours before this event happened and what did it cause you to feel and did that feeling drive you to make the same mistake again okay and a great example sibling conflict okay This kid says you're stupid. If the other sibling has a negative core belief of I'm stupid, it's going to hurt like heck and they're going to blow. And when this kid blows because this kid said you're stupid in passing, we're going to come down on the kid that blew and we're going to tell him to stop reacting that way. But this other kid found a weak spot and keeps poking them and they keep blowing. And this kid keeps getting more and more frustrated, can't figure out why they're blowing. They can't make themselves stop blow because they're not even aware they've got the negative core belief of being stupid. That makes them so sensitive. Yes. Coming in, coming, coming in and going, OK, what are you feeling? What's going on when they say this? Why does you know it's hurting you a ton? Do you believe your stupid deep inside unconsciously?
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, yes, yes. And it's so weird you mention that because just I cannot believe how low the kids go. You know, my son said something to my youngest daughter about, oh, you're not going to be D1. You'll probably be lucky if you're NAIA. And one of my daughters did get a scholarship to a Christian NAIA school to play NAIA. a volleyball and then she's offended and the one that thinks she's D1 thinks she's better than the one that's going to the NAIA school you know and then my son says you'll be lucky if you get D3 to the other kid and then she's like you barely made it into CU and that's when I picked up on what they were saying is he's going to the University of Colorado Boulder and um and then I just he went to summer school and then he got in and so then I'm like oh my gosh I'm I just, and then I, I, then I read a text later from my husband that was just like, I've had it with you guys using your most vulnerable and your most, you know, like one of them has ADHD. So that's the one that might think she's stupid. And then the one's really skinny and she doesn't like those comments. And then she calls the other one that's bigger fat. And then they call it, they used to call my son chubby. And they're all going for that. little piece that they know is going to like ruin them, you know, right where they can stab them, you know, in between the ribs and get to them. And it's interesting that they kind of know what each other's weak points are and what will really hurt them. And I can't believe they use it.
SPEAKER 04 :
Right. Well, and that's what we've seen with the traditional parenting structure of when we're coming down on and punishing or using consequences with our kids. We're training them to do that with each other. We don't want to be it that way. But they – when someone hurts me, I'm going to give them a consequence back, okay? The whole point of having a love-centered home, the one rule, which is Jesus' one command to love your neighbor as yourself. So you've got to love yourself and love your neighbor. And in his last teaching time, it's, you know, this is my one command, love one another. This is true love, one who will lay down his life for a friend. We haven't raised our kids to know how to love. How love works, how to love each other, because we've been told that traditional parenting, which is anchored in the Old Testament rules and sacrifices, okay, that didn't work, that led to a silence of the prophets for 300 years, we are unwittingly teaching our kids to be hard on each other. And it breaks down the whole family culture. It breaks down the whole family culture, and love is gone. And we're all pointing out each other's weaknesses. Yes. We're using those vulnerable spots. That is not Jesus' plan for our house. It's just not.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, it's so funny because I'm never the one picked on, Jeff. I'm never the one picked on. But my husband's under a lot of stress right now, and the girls and I went on a fall break alone, and we were going to go to Florida alone right after Christmas for like a week because my husband's like, really involved with his company and my son's got his business and then my daughter said dad um mom doesn't want to go to Florida she wants to go somewhere else but I really want to go to Florida will you make her go to Florida and come with us right so then she says oh well dad says we can go to Florida okay so here's the underpinning of this I know but if he's coming and he's stressed out that it will be more stressful because he'll be working in the hotel room and And he'll be possibly upset while we're vacationing. And so I said to my daughter, I can't believe you invited him to our vacation. And last night during the midst of all of this, she told him. She said, Mom's mad at me for inviting you on our vacation. And I couldn't believe, Jeff, that I got brought. Usually I'm the protected one. Like no one in the family picks on me. And she totally blew my cover.
SPEAKER 04 :
And so therein lies, you know, we can have completely different family culture than I have it. And when people don't believe it, they don't believe that I don't have any of the issues that parents have.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, because this is what you do. We assume you've worked past all these problems.
SPEAKER 04 :
But no, they don't believe that my kids are loving and that close. They don't believe any of it, honestly. So a lot of people will come visit me during the summer because I'm here in Durango, Colorado. And they'll come and we'll hang out with them for a week. And they'll hang around my family when we're working with them. And they'll be like, Jeff, At the end of the week, your family is so different. The culture is so different. Your kids love each other. They're close. They support each other.
SPEAKER 02 :
Wow. It is nice.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, it's huge. I mean it comes with other risks, but I'd rather have these risks than the poking –
SPEAKER 02 :
sensitive reactive culture that i see in so many christian homes today where love just doesn't seem to function at all you know it's funny because they do they do love each other but it doesn't come out like when one got in an accident recently you know um my daughter that found out at a volleyball game started hyperventilating and we could see her on the video of the game because we were out of town So when she was approached and told, um, she, she just really lost it like emotionally. And we were like, what, why were you so obsessed? She was like, just, I just, I know I get mad at him, but I just love him so much. You know, the love is there, but sometimes it's a little, you know, further underground than we would like it to be. All right. We've got a minute left, Jeff. So let's, um, what do you want to leave us with today? And we'll pick up next week.
SPEAKER 04 :
You know, I think you can go to my site, OneRuleHome.com, and you can sign up and get the What's Really Causing My Kids Bad Behavior book for free. You can also right now for a limited time take our Child Concern Index Assessment. Oh, cool. Because lots of times we're really concerned about our kids, and we're not sure should we really be concerned or not. This is a comprehensive index that will return up to a 70-page detailed report based upon everything you indicate, and it will give you an assessment of how concerned should you be with your kid right now and the situation they're in. Both of those are free right on the top of the main page of our site right now. So go to one rule home dot com, get the book, take the child concern index. And then from there, if you want to talk, you can schedule a free consult call and talk with me or one of our other coaches.
SPEAKER 02 :
Excellent. And again, the book that we talk about every week is what's really causing my kids bad behavior. Jeff shot. Thanks, Jeff.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thank you, Angie.
SPEAKER 01 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
Join Angie Austin as she hosts a heartfelt conversation with Grace Fox, diving deep into life's real struggles as shared through compelling stories. From personal journeys of letting go to understanding the psychological roots of attachment, this episode is filled with insight and introspection. Discover how faith and perseverance can transform arduous paths into enlightening experiences. The episode also shifts focus to the pressing topic of foster care, featuring expert insights from Kristen Pratt of Foster More. Learn about the challenges and triumphs involved in fostering and how communities can step up to support this vital cause. It's an episode that underscores resilience, hope, and the courage to face life's uncertainties. Immerse yourself in engaging narratives as our guests share their personal stories of overcoming journeys, the emotional ties to possessions, and the fortitude required in fostering. With thought-provoking discussions on securing peace through faith and fostering hope through love, this episode offers both encouragement and inspiration to navigate your life path.
SPEAKER 02 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now with The Good News, here's Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hello there friend, Angie Austin and Grace Fox. And today we are talking about real life struggles from her book, Fresh Hope for Today, Devotions for Joy on the Journey. Hey Grace. Hi, good to talk to you again. All right, so tell us about real life struggles.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, so I wrote this one after interviewing a friend. Her name was Nancy. She lives in Oregon, actually. And she talked to me about how she and her husband had decided to take a hike. And so they trudged, as she described it, trudged four miles uphill through the forest. And they began second-guessing their wisdom in choosing to do this hike. but she said that they persevered and they got to the top of a, when they got to the top, it was this meadow that was just filled with flowers and glacier fed streams. And she said, it was just so beautiful. They sat down and had a picnic there and thoroughly enjoyed their time. It was that kind of a space where you work so hard to get somewhere. And when you, when you finally arrive, it's just so beautiful. You don't want to leave. And that was like their experience. And, And so when I heard her story, I thought, well, that is like real life in that sometimes we end up on a journey that is so arduous. And it's maybe not by choice, but it's just something that happens. We end up on this path that is so hard. And we just don't know that we're ever going to reach whatever it is we're trying to reach. But finally, the Lord just brings us into a place of rest. and it's it's a place that our soul is longing for after all of that maybe hardship that we've just come through but where we can sit down and we can rest and we know that he's with us and we know that he's got us and he's holding us close but wow it's you know the destination of getting there and experiencing that rest for our soul is good but the pathway to getting there is sometimes really hard
SPEAKER 06 :
Can you think of examples like in your own life where that really applied to you as well? And you're like, oh, I'm going to write this because I can really relate to this.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, I think that when my husband and I sent the Lord nudging us to purge almost all of our earthly belongings to move aboard our sailboat home. And we didn't have a boat. It's not like we had this boat sitting around and we could just move into it. We had to find one that worked for living aboard and find a place to moor it. It was a journey that took a lot of energy mentally and emotionally as I had to part with all of these things that I counted precious. It was a path. It was arduous. And we didn't have a long time to do it. Once we got on it, once we actually found a boat and bought it, we had like six weeks to get rid of our stuff. And it was a path that wore me out in some ways, just emotionally every day, getting up and sorting again and purging again and saying goodbye again to these things that we'd held dear. But once we completed that and arrived, moved into the boat, settled in, And realize that, wow, you know, like this was a time of really stretching our faith and growing our faith. But we saw God come through. And it was a time of thanking him for that opportunity to walk that tough path. But to come to that place of knowing full well that we had obeyed him completely. And there was peace in that, even though I'd said goodbye to all these things that I'd once held dear, there was peace in my heart and there was joy in having obeyed. And it was something that, yeah, we walked that path and it was hard, but wow, it's been worth every step.
SPEAKER 06 :
You know, it's interesting you talk about, you know, peace of letting go of things that you once held dear. It's so hard sometimes to part with them. And there's some organizer lady that, you know, basically says, if you feel, if that item brings you joy, you know, keep it. And of course, if it's something you haven't, you know, used or worn or whatever for many years, you know, even if you're like, oh, I might wear that again. There's really no sense in keeping it. But I wonder why we have such a hard time letting things go. My... Mother-in-law has... The family calls her an organized hoarder. And so she has a basement that's probably 1,500 square feet. And it's the most organized basement stuffed to the brim with like 200 purses, you know, 400 pairs of pants. And they're those stretch pants that... you know like senior citizen ladies wear that you can slide on and have thanksgiving dinner and they still fit just fine in every color of the rainbow and then i'm like well why are there like 20 yellow pairs well she used to be super skinny so there's like you know three pairs and a size four three pairs and a size six three pairs and i'm not i'm like oh my gosh like you could never if you wore these pants every day like You probably, she couldn't even wear them like at the end of her life now and go through all those pants. You know what I mean? Like it's just crazy to me and she won't let us down there. Like my son really wants to go down there because he's a thrifter and he's been allowed down a couple of times like with oversight. Like she'll be down there with him. And he might get like a hockey jersey that my husband had when he was little. Or this last time my son came home with a stack of photographs of like my husband when he was, you know, a kid and in college. And then some from when we first got married, like probably 50 pictures. So that's what he came home with. But usually he gets like a little thing. I even got down there. Oh, I couldn't believe that was allowed down. But I needed one of those like shopping bags kind of like to take on the plane that... you know fooled up and she had some nicer ones down there that were like designed or whatever so I found a small one that you could maybe put like the size of like two bottles of wine maybe so that was perfect for like my snack on the plane I go oh look there's another one there's a matching one I'm thinking oh I should take both right she goes oh no no no no no don't get greedy girl And I'm looking around, right? Even three of the purses that I gave her, they're just hanging down there collecting dust, right? Like coach bags. And I'm like, are you sure you've never used that coach bag? Are you sure you want to keep that? Like I gave that to you 20 years ago. I would definitely use that. Oh, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, what? What is it? I don't understand the psychology grace behind that kind of hoarding. You know what I mean? And I know they say it can relate back to maybe losses. Like her dad was a police officer and he was killed in the line of duty when she was like maybe 8, 9, 10. And I've heard that like losing, like if you lose a child or lose something big, like somehow hanging onto these things. And I know that that's not like the Christian way to do it. We're not supposed to get our like comfort and our like, you know, out of things. They're not supposed to give us like that comfort. Right. But it's perplexing to me. Like I can't wrap my head around it, but it's got to have something to do with it giving you comfort or comfort.
SPEAKER 05 :
um security something like that you know that we're supposed to be secure through christ but apparently we're secure through 200 pairs of pants and 200 purses yeah the word security came to my mind as you were talking and i think that's it is that we look to things for our security but if that house burned down if that house were to burn down today how would she respond right like if she found her security in those things that'd be a significant loss for her But the one thing about hanging on to the Lord and finding our security in him is he's never going to leave us. Nothing's ever going to take him away from us. The scripture says in Romans that nothing separates us from his love. And so no matter what happens, even on those tough walks that we take through life, sometimes doesn't matter where he leads us or what he asks us to go through or what he allows in our life. still we can find hope and we can find peace and we can find joy if our security is in him and not in stuff that can be gone in a heartbeat.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, and I think with so many of the people, I keep seeing these pictures because I've got so many friends in the news business in Los Angeles. And one of my girlfriends went out really early this morning. And, you know, I don't think we can really wrap our heads around the loss that those people experienced, right? And I know everybody says, well, you know, you still have your life and things can be replaced, etc., etc. But it's a whole... change of like all those lives because it's not like a house in your neighborhood burns down and oh you get rid of it you rebuild like it's so toxic up there and now they'll have problems with mudslides right but your grocery store is gone your library is gone your mechanic is gone all your neighbors homes are gone so like then you go up there and you rebuild and in the midst of all this toxic you know material that's up there and even working up there you know how how easy is it going to be to get workers that want to go through all this burnt toxic you know you know destruction that they need to throw into a big dumpster and you know start from the ground up and then the soil and i don't know just that kind of loss um you know, being secure in Christ, we're supposed to find our security there. But I can imagine when you return to your neighborhood and you don't even know if there's a possibility of you rebuilding, like, I'm very curious to see what it'll be like in 20 years. I'm assuming the oceanfront Malibu homes where those people have money coming out of their ears and they're like $10 million houses, those will get rebuilt because even if you don't have insurance money, you're loaded and you can rebuild. And the people in Pacific Palisades, you know, those are very expensive homes too in the millions, but some of them may have been in a different position of maybe owning it for 30 years and they they aren't multi-millionaires it just became millionaires because the you know real estate values went up so much but you know i'm just very curious to see what that will be like in 20 or or so years if it is all rebuilt because it is such a prime spot but i sometimes i feel like so the picture that i had when my friend sent all these pictures out today um was of just kind of despair and just kind of like a hopelessness that many of them feel about, you know, where do we go from here kind of feeling. And I think some of us have that feeling about other things in life, you know, where we end of a relationship oh gosh where do i go from here or the loss of someone a loved one you know how do i work my way through this how do i claw my way out of this i just watched a documentary um on avicii this dj who was so talented just oh so talented and he committed suicide and i just thought to myself like gosh, you were such a genius with creating music. If you didn't want to do those concerts, couldn't you just stop doing the concerts and just create with other, he was working with the top of the top of the top, you know, musicians. And couldn't you just do that? Like, couldn't you see your way out of it? And I know that that's why we have faith. I know that's why we have like the Lord to turn to. But I just think people get lost in a sea of despair sometimes.
SPEAKER 05 :
I agree with you on that. I think depression and anxiety are on the rise. And I just want to encourage listeners today to not give up, to keep putting that one foot in front of the other, just like my friend and her husband, as they were going on that path. They didn't know it was going to be four miles long. They didn't know how long it was going to take or how arduous, how steep it got. They just heard it was a great path. So, you know, the path that we end up on, we don't know where it's going to lead to eventually. We don't know sometimes how steep it's going to get. But like these poor people that have lost so much out in California, they don't know how long this is going to take before they can return to their life or what their life is going to look like. What is their new normal going to be? Where is their workplace going to be? Where are their kids going to go to school? What about their church family if they lost their church? So, you know, everything is disrupted in their lives. But to not give up hope, just every day put one foot in front of the other on that path and persevere because eventually it will even out. We don't know what that will look like. There are no guarantees, but It's going to be okay is what we want to say, right? It's going to be okay.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I always love, you know, your Fresh Hope for Today devotions. That's the book, Fresh Hope for Today, Devotions for Joy on the Journey. If you want some hope, it's a great book. Always enjoy talking to Grace Fox. And if you want to find her and her books, you can go to gracefox.com. Thank you, friend. Thank you.
SPEAKER 03 :
Manitou Springs is listening to the Mighty 670 KLT.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 06 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. Well, you know, if you've listened to the program over the years, I guess I've been on, gosh, radio and TV like 25 years. So many of you know my background and I have a real heart for foster care because I spent some time in foster care growing up and really was appreciative of the families that took me in. Joining us is Kristen Pratt, and she is with Foster More, the leadership team. Welcome, Kristen.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much for having me, Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right, so let's just start off, first of all, I know that there is a need for foster care. I've seen books where it's like page after page after page of kids that are looking for homes. So is this crisis in America worse now? And just tell us about the foster care crisis in general.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, so... Any given day, it fluctuates a bit, but there are approximately 400,000 children in foster care in America. So it is, it has seen some slight improvements the last few years, but a lot of those kids are experiencing, you know, over two to three placements a year, the majority of them. And so there's a real need for loving, stable homes for these kids who are facing a lot of obstacles.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yes. Oh my goodness. All right. So I know that you guys do some research and there was a barrier, a significant barrier preventing, you know, families from stepping forward to, I'll tell you what my mind would be. Well, first of all, I have three teenagers, five pets and off and on my 82 year old mom. But my barrier would probably be my husband. But I might be able to work on him like once the kids are gone, because they're all in high school now. But the barrier for me is my spouse, like I would do foster care. And I know it's rough. I don't have any fairy tale like version of how difficult it could potentially be. So what are the barriers that people see in terms of becoming foster parents?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I mean, that is a barrier, like your spouse, you have to both be on board. But We always tell people, too, there's a need for foster parents of all kinds, all ages, you know, empty nesters, young people, older people, single people. So there's really, you know, anyone can step up there. And one of the things that we found that people would say is that they couldn't take the time off work. So they'd say, well, my job doesn't allow for me to take that time off work. And, you know, like there's a lot that goes into that. Um, when the child is placed in the home, not only do you need that time to bond with, with some child who has by definition experienced some trauma, but you also need the time to get them enrolled in a new school and doctor's appointments and, you know, all the appointments. So you really, it's important to have that time off when the child joins a home and a lot of businesses don't provide for that. And it stops a lot of potential foster parents from moving forward when they find out that information.
SPEAKER 06 :
Um, have you, have you, like, is this something that you try to address with businesses to try to, I know that my, my station that I worked for one of the gals on the, one of the weather women, uh, adopted a child and she got, you know, the typical time off that you would get. But in this case it was an infant, but I know some businesses do give you time off, but I would. assume with a single parent that that would just kind of like you know take that option off the plate for them to become a foster parent but do um does the foster care system help with things like um you know daycare if you're getting like a kid that's two three four that needs you know daycare during the day they do there are it depends on the state you live in but there are some you know provisions for that and that's another thing that we work with businesses like if a business has on-site child care um we ask that you know
SPEAKER 04 :
youth in foster care if someone becomes a foster parent their child can be um immediately have access to the to the facility yeah but um yeah one of the things we realized is that a lot of the businesses that were offering like you were talking about adoption paid time off for adoption or birth foster care was just overlooked because yes you know a lot of people think of foster care as a road to adoption. And so they get, you know, the time off when the child is adopted, but you really need that time off when the child is placed in the home. And the child is not always adopted in foster care. About half the time they're reunited with the parents. So we need all different kinds of homes, people that want to adopt, people that want to be there for a family that needs some support. And so we want to make sure that businesses are specifically giving that time off for just being a foster parent
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, I understand that Foster More is obviously helping with this whole workplace initiative, you know, trying to get places to make it more, you know, user-friendly to become a foster parent. Can you talk about that?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So at Foster More, we have sort of like a ladder of engagement on our website. We try to engage people in all different ways. So, you know, if you want to learn about becoming a mentor for youth in foster care, if you want to have the opportunity to pack a duffel bag or get involved and volunteer in different ways, you can start on our website to do that. And one of the tabs on the website is to become a foster parent, where you can fill out a little form, and then we can connect you with someone, depending on where you live, someone in your local area that can help you learn about becoming a foster parent. And the same thing for the workplace pledge, there's a tab on the website where you can learn more about If you're a business owner or an employee and you're interested in having your business become officially foster-friendly, you can do that on the website, too, and we'd be happy to talk more to anyone about their business becoming foster-friendly.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. I'm just wondering, you know, for people listening today who are thinking about becoming a foster parent, I know a lot of it seems like overwhelming and, you know, all the things you have to tackle to be approved, et cetera. So how do you recommend people get, you know, started on the process? Obviously your website with all the tabs, you know, a really good idea. But how can someone personally, I mean, talking to someone, that's a great idea that you just gave us. What else?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, well, again, research shows that it takes about 18 months to two years for people. Once they start thinking about becoming a foster parent, you know, do you have the idea to actually become a foster parent? So, you know, it does take, and as it should take a lot of thought for people, it takes a lot of research. So it's something you can start looking into. It's a little bit different than requirements in every state. You can start asking people about it. You can look into other ways to, to get involved and volunteer first. I mean, the need is great for foster parents, but if you want to learn more about foster care, you can volunteer. There are tons of amazing organizations all across the country doing great work. You can learn more about how to get involved in different ways. you know, maybe on the path to becoming a foster parent, as well.
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, in your particular case, what I always love to get people's passion for things, obviously, I'm interested in this topic, because I live with families and relatives, and I only had one, quote, unquote, official foster home, but I had many places where I stayed, you know, so what what what is behind your passion for this kind of work?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I've always been involved in working with kids. I have a background in special education and I became a CASA, which is a court appointed advocate. And that's something people can look into as well, where you support a youth in foster care, you go to court with them and you're sort of their mentor and their person along the way. And so I learned a lot about foster care that way. And just, you know, the more it's something that, like I was saying, people don't talk about that much, but it's such a big issue. And once you, it's like you can't unsee, you know, what you've seen and what you've learned. And it really requires so many more people to step up in any way that you can. And I think it's something that you realize, like, we're all connected to this issue. It's not just a sort of other or someone, you know, far off that you don't know. Like you said, like almost all the time, When we talk to people at businesses, we hear stories like yours where it was like I was in foster care. My cousin was in foster care. My parents were. I was a foster parent. And so so many people are connected. And it's just not only when you provide the workplace benefits, you're also getting people to talk about it, too, which is so important. And that's why we really appreciate you having us on, too, so we can talk about it.
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, I'm wondering in terms of I know that there's like people are thinking, oh, foster care, you know, I'm going to have this kid for 18 years. But there are other, you know, that sounds terrible, but I said it like that. But you know what I mean? Like people are overwhelmed by the prospect of having a child that long or maybe someone, you know, like myself, who's already raised their kids, who's maybe looking at teens or something of the sort. I know you can specify what you're interested in, but is there also like emergency short-term care where you might just have a baby for a week or, you know, like shorter-term options per se? Now, one of my girlfriends, she's a nurse, her husband's a doctor. They did have a short-term situation. And then once the little girl had stayed with them for quite some time, she told me, well, we're going to adopt her. And I was like, wow, like your kids are in college, like yikes. And she said it's the right thing to do because she'd been with them for so long.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So most places you can sign up for respite care. So that's basically like giving a foster parent a weekend break or a few day break. Oh, I've never heard of that. Yeah. So that's a really cool way to sort of like dip your toe in and get involved. It's called respite care. And also there's a really huge need for people that don't want to adopt from foster care that they just want to support. Because like I was saying, the goal of foster care, the ultimate goal is is to support whole families so that kids can be reunified. And that, you know, doesn't always happen. And sometimes, you know, the best situation is for them to stay with the foster parents. But if at all possible, you try to support a whole family so that the child can be reunited with their biological parents. And that requires people to step up temporarily, right? Like that's so important. And I think a lot of times people think of it more as like a road to path to adoption, which it can be. But there's a huge need for people that want to just be there and provide a safe, loving, supportive space for a child in the family who's going through a crisis.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. We only have a couple of minutes left, but I can't believe I've never heard of respite care. Okay. So would you keep the child for the day or is this something like more like several days or do you kind of take them maybe on? I know CASA, they take them on like outings and things like that from their foster situation. So what are the possibilities for respite care for a foster parent?
SPEAKER 04 :
So respite care, you know, I think it depends on each in each state. I think it's a little bit different, but most of the time it's, you know, two, three days you're certified as a foster parent. So you would have to get the certification, like, you know, the cost of you're not, you have to have like a background check and everything, but you're not certified as a foster parent. So if you're doing respite care, you have to go through the whole process of making sure your home is suitable and everything. And then it would be, I think the time really varies, you know, it could be, Two nights, three nights a week. It's just really that time, like say a foster parent needs a break or is going on vacation or has a family emergency, you know, and they need to go out of town. So someone providing respite care would give them that.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, I think about, you know, business trips. Okay, we have one minute left. Tell me your takeaway. What do you want to tell people that are, like, kind of on the fence? Like, what do you want people to know if you had a one-minute elevator speech to give to us?
SPEAKER 04 :
I think the main thing we want people to know, and this is what we say at Foster Mer, these kids are amazing, and they're resilient, and they have the potential to overcome anything, and they really just need someone... to step up and be there for them. The outcomes for kids in foster care are not great, and that can change if we as a society and as individuals step up and are there for these kids.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I sure appreciate all that you do. My foster care situation was quite interesting because I come from a family where my dad has his PhDs, well-educated, but we had a lot of, he was estranged from our family for like 35 years. And then one of my brothers was murdered. Another one ended up homeless. Wow. Here I graduated top of my class. I worked full time all through high school and college. So for somebody listening, just the opportunity to stay with my foster family and other families that really cared, I think really made a difference in my life and where my first job was at NBC News out of college in Los Angeles. So thank you, Kristen, for all you do for others. Really appreciate you.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much, Angie. I'd love to hear more about your story.
SPEAKER 06 :
I'd love to talk again. Thanks, Kristen.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
In this thought-provoking episode, Angie Austin brings forth conversations that challenge us to rethink the way we view our lives. Jim Stovall shares his insights on breaking free from a mediocre existence and what it means to truly live a fulfilling life. Through poignant anecdotes, including the tale of a man planning a new chapter post-incarceration, listeners are invited to reconsider the power of a single life-altering decision. Moreover, Angie’s conversation with Dr. Scott Adzick explores pioneering work in fetal surgery, offering hope and insights into life-saving medical advancements. As Dr. Adzick talks about training future specialists, the episode also highlights the importance of mentorship and legacy in impactful work. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their passions and make deliberate choices that align with their values and dreams. Whether it's a career change or finding joy in volunteering, this episode serves as a guidepost for navigating towards a life of significance and satisfaction.
SPEAKER 04 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here's Angie.
SPEAKER 03 :
Hello there, friend. Angie Austin, Jim Stovall with The Good News. And today we are talking about your best life. Sounds like the best column. I love this, Jim.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, thank you. It's a phrase we all kind of borrow from Oprah. And she probably got it from somewhere else. But, you know, and the premise is that... we have a choice. We can live our best life. We can live our worst life. And, you know, I'm well aware of the fact that bad things happen to good people. And, you know, it can either be a something that defeats you or a springboard to greater success. And Walt Whitman said, I am not one person. I am many persons. You know, I'm a giant. I'm a dwarf. I'm wealthy. I'm poor. I'm you know, successful, I'm a failure, all these things, because he realized that inside of each of us is the potential to be all of those things. And, you know, we all have those moments, those days, those periods of time that change that. I had a gentleman in my office last week who I met at a fundraiser event I was doing for a Oh, a faith-based group that helps people getting out of prison. Okay. And he had made a horrible series of decisions when he was 15 years old, and it ended up with him killing a guy, and he spent the next 35 years of his life in the penitentiary. So I met him at age 50 when he just got out, and he had been in prison every day since he was 15. And, you know, and it's just amazing. He recounted what happened to him that morning. And he made a couple of dumb decisions and put himself in a bad place. And there you go. I mean, it wasn't some big conspiracy plan or something. It was a momentary thing. And his life is there. So he talked to me about the fact that, okay, that's been your life up to now. But now you're 50. For the next 35 years, you can decide what do you want your life to be. And you have to have a double good life from here on out to make up for that first part. So you've got to come back. You're like a team. You're two touchdowns behind. You've got to make up for this. And he's making plans to do that. And we all have the ability to live a great life or a poor life. Unfortunately, most people... live right in the middle. They live a mediocre existence. And in our country today, Angie, it doesn't take much to be mediocre. You can just kind of drift through life if you want to, and that's where it is. Or you can change your life by changing your mind, and you can live a great life. And it's all about making a decision. And you can have one moment right now today that changes that, just like the guy I told you about, When he was 15 years old, he had one moment he did something really stupid and ruined his life. Well, the contrary is true. We can all have one moment where we make our mind to change. I remember a moment like that for me, and my life will never be the same. I just don't want to live like this anymore. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and that's it. And, you know, many things go back to that. And I just decided that's it. We're not living like this anymore.
SPEAKER 03 :
Was that the loaf of bread?
SPEAKER 05 :
Yes, indeed. Yeah, we miscalculated our groceries as we were going through the grocery store. And Crystal had to go put back a loaf of bread. And it was embarrassing and frustrating. And I just said there is no reason I should ever live like this. I'm just not going to live like this anymore. And that changed my world.
SPEAKER 03 :
And you two, weren't you first and second in your college class when you graduated?
SPEAKER 05 :
We were indeed. We were indeed. But we had gotten way in debt, and I was blind. And at that point, I thought disabilities means you couldn't do stuff.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER 05 :
Everything I knew about being blind, I learned from people that told me what that meant. And it's no different than all of us going through life if we're mediocre. Someone told us this is how you live. And people that live a pinnacle existence, a mountaintop existence, they either had somebody amazing tell them how they could live life, they read a book, or they just got a vision of who they could be, and they just decided, I'm not going to be that way anymore. And I read about once this bald eagle had fallen out of the nest and had been taken in through a set of circumstances. It ends up with a bunch of ducks that have just hatched. And this eagle, you know, was raised by this mama duck and, you know, and took on the character. This eagle thought he was a duck. And he walked like a duck, talked like a duck, you know, even started quacking like a duck. I mean, and took on those characteristics. Oh, my gosh. we have a tendency to become like our environment or the people around us, and we can change that. And any time we don't like it, we can change the channel. Sometimes we act like it's a wired-in broadcast and we're stuck with this. No, you've got 500 channels. You can do anything with your life you want, and you change your life when you change your mind. And that's why every once in a while you need somebody to come along And think, what would your best life look like? I mean, what would you do if you could do anything you wanted to do? Because the reality is that's where we all live.
SPEAKER 03 :
Now, what did you tell this guy? So he made a mistake, killed somebody when he was 15, didn't plan it. And all these years later, he's 50. What did you tell him to do in order to live his best life?
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, I told him, first, we've all got to decide what it is we want. What do we want the end to look like? And he's working on that right now. We're going to have another meeting next month. But I said, then you got to look at what talents, abilities and experiences do you have? And he said, well, I don't have any. I said, that's where you're wrong. There are people going into prison, getting out of prison. There are people who need to make quality decisions to stay out of prison. And you have a unique life. You can speak to those people. And you know what it's like on the inside. You know what it's like out here. And more than anybody I know, you can speak to that issue. And, you know, we talked about him, you know, consulting with people, writing a book, helping young people in high schools. I mean, you know, when you have a guy walk in and say, I'm 50 years old. I mean, you know, I'm as old as your parents and almost your grandparents standing here. And when I was your age that you are right now, I did something really stupid and I ended up this way. And, you know, and maybe you could help a handful of kids from avoiding that. And, uh, that would be a good life. You, you, you would be living your best life when you use the talents and abilities and experiences you've had to help other people. So he and I talked about that and, um, You know, and he's got a job. He's the place that I help raise money for. They help people get jobs, and it's not a great job, but it's a job. And he has an apartment, and it's not a great apartment, but it's a good place to start. And as he pointed out, it's better than a jail cell, and the neighborhood's better. So he's feeling pretty good about it.
SPEAKER 03 :
Whenever I talk to interviewees that I find particularly interesting, I figure out where they got their passion for what they do. And one of the doctors that I've interviewed that is coming up again is Dr. Adzik, and he does fetal surgery. And he told me, I'll never forget, of all the thousands of interviews, I'll never forget, he said, what's the most satisfying thing about your work? Or when have you felt like, wow, I'm really doing something that makes a difference? He goes, well, every year when I go to the big party for the kids that I've done fetal surgery on, so it might be heart surgery while the baby's in the womb that saves its life. He goes, I see him throwing the football and having a great time together, enjoying the party, eating their hot dogs or whatever they're having. And he said, and I think, wow, this is really great work that I do. This is this is really I'm making a difference. This is very satisfying. I thought, wow, what a cool thing, because he's working on cleft palates and club feet, heart surgeries, spina bifida, you know, all these things that we never would have operated on a baby in the womb. Right. It's just so fascinating to me. And so I started talking more recently about like finding your passion. Like you said, what are you interested in? What are your skills like? you know, what are your values, where do you think you could add, whether it's, you know, a job where you're going to get paid, or whether it's going to be volunteer work, because I've been writing all this down myself, trying to figure out, you know, what I'm going to do next, as my kids are, one, another one's leaving this year, you know, Riley just went up to, moved up to campus just recently, because he'd been commuting, and then the next one goes to Tennessee in about six months, and then I'll have one left at home, so really just thinking about, you know, what's next, so I like, you know, how you are kind of setting him on the right path to what he wants to do next after all those years in prison and knowing that he can still make a difference.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, absolutely. We all have the ability to do that. And then sometimes we forget, like you were talking about your doctor. I met a young lady the other day, a young lady, and she's probably in her mid-40s, and I was speaking at a university. And she's the dean of admissions and teaches at the university, and she came up and introduced herself. I said, it's nice to meet you. And she said, you don't know who I am, do you? And I said, well, you just told me who you are. And she said, no, no, no, no. 1988, I'm a college freshman. I ran out of money. I was getting ready to drop out of the university and go back to my job as a waitress. I went to the mailbox there on campus to turn in my key. I had one envelope left there, and it was a letter from you telling me I got a scholarship. And I finished college and got a graduate degree, and now I'm dean of this university. And she said, it all started because you made that envelope happen. And I said, well, thank you, but no, you made all that happen. You did every bit of that. But I said, I will tell you, from time to time, it's a hassle running a scholarship, and you just gave me plenty of motivation for the next 10 years. I'm good to go.
SPEAKER 02 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 03 :
That is, that's, whew. Well, speaking of making an impact, there you did, but I want to tell you one other thing. You know my friend Dr. Cheryl Lynch, she's a professor and just a really neat lady, and she writes books as well, and she wrote me a note the other day, and she said, she I'm reading Jim Stovall's book, The Gift of a Day, 100 Doses of Winner's Wisdom. And this quote from Chapter 7, Crystallize What I Do. Could we do a segment on this sometime? I'd really like to talk about it because Jim has such a way with words. And here's what he said that brought me to tears. And the quote, I'll start with the whole thing, but then I'll highlight what you said that made her cry. Influence can be either good or bad, and it can be overt or subtle. We are all being influenced, and we are all influencing others every day. And here's the part that got her. If we learn something, we change our world. If we teach something, we change another person's world. But if we teach people to teach, we change the whole world. And she said that really encapsulates what she does as a professor, and that made her cry.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, that is good. I think we ought to laugh some every day, cry some every day, have good memories. And, you know, that needs to be a regular part of our day. And it's a good thing. And please tell her I am greatly honored.
SPEAKER 03 :
She's a good one. All right. So in your best life, we've got about a minute left. What's our takeaway here?
SPEAKER 05 :
Examine the life you're living right now. We spend very little time. We spend our lives worrying about stuff that happened in the past we can't do anything about or fretting about stuff in the future that may or may not even happen. And we never take a look at what am I doing right now and is this really what I want to do or did I just kind of end up here? You know, someone told me to get in that line and here I am. And really take it, do it on purpose and, you know, really start living your best life.
SPEAKER 03 :
And I love it. You always say, today's the day. And it says, you and I are much the same, and our best lives await. As you go through your day today, trade your ordinary life for your best life, because today's the day. And that's jimstovall.com, jimstovall.com. Thank you, my friend.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thank you. Be well.
SPEAKER 03 :
You be well. Brighton is tuned to the mighty 670 KLT Denver.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 03 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. Well, I'm really excited about our next interview. Did you know that nearly 150,000 babies every year are born in the U.S. with birth defects, many with conditions so rare that some of the parents and clinicians have never even heard of them? approximately 5,000 fetal surgeries done worldwide to treat these birth defects. A quarter of them had been performed at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Dr. Scott Adzick is a fetal surgeon who specializes in treating these babies' unique needs. And today we're discussing advancements that will save even more lives. And we've had Dr. Adzik on the show before and over 30 years in TV news and radio news. I worked at NBC for many years. I've interviewed thousands of people. And Dr. Adzik is one of my all time favorite interviews, which he doesn't even know this. His work is fascinating and lifesaving. Welcome back, doctor.
SPEAKER 06 :
Geez, thanks for the introduction, Angie. That was awesome.
SPEAKER 03 :
You know, I'm fascinated by people's passion for what they do. And I asked you once, hey, what's satisfying about your work? You know, what gives you great, you know, satisfaction? And you said these kids come back for this like party that you have to celebrate the kids who've been saved, you know, in, you know, you've operated on them before they've even been born and you're like and here they are like teenagers and they're throwing the football and you know I mean not you're humble but they're alive because in some cases you did this surgery on them and you're watching all of these kids playing that really I mean you kind of help save their lives I mean that's so cool that's very cool and you're right and that sort of sounds a little bit like me I don't even need to do the interview I mean you the line look
SPEAKER 06 :
It is true that each year in June, actually this year is on June 1st, Sunday at the Philadelphia Zoo, you're invited. Oh, I'd love to go. I have a fetal family reunion and patients, children and their families come back. And last year we had over 3,000 people there. And that's usually for the most part just folks who are local and regional, not just who are national since the program was started. It was started in 1995. This is 30 years for us. We've had more than 33,000 pregnant women carrying babies with birth defects referred to us from all 50 states and from more than 70 countries. So that is inspiring. There's so many children whose babies likely could have died running around and growing up healthy and strong. Actually, there's nothing better. Nothing better.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, I want to talk a little bit about some of the advancements, because this is so fascinating to me anyway, that you can operate on a baby while it's still in the mom's tummy. I mean, to put it down to the basics of what you do, but I mean, it's so technical and they're so tiny. Talk about some of the birth defects that you can help via this surgery.
SPEAKER 06 :
Okay, well, there's a whole long list. and we've been fortunate to be pioneers in many of them. The two most common, though, I'll touch on are spina bifida and twin-twin transfusions. What's spina bifida? Well, you know, but I'll explain it to your listeners. That's where, in the developing fetus, the tissues around the spinal cord don't develop normally, so the spinal cord and the associated nerves are exposed to the in-utero environment, which is principally amniotic fluid, which in the third trimester is quite neurotoxic, destroy the developing spinal. These children, when they're born, they're likely to eventually be wheelchair-bound, have motor function problems, have hydrocephalus, fluid on the brain, require a ventricular peritoneal shunt to drain the fluid into the abdomen, and so on and so forth. We can now treat this condition in selected cases. Before birth, we've done about 500 of these operations since I think it was the first one in 1998. And the children who have the operation between 23 and 26 weeks gestation, in an operation, it's on average about 70 minutes. The outcomes, this is not a cure completely for spondylobifida. Children that have this before birth are much more likely to walk, have much better motor functions. Much less likely to have hydrocephalus, much less likely to need one of those shunt tubes. That's reporting and we're now doing, obviously, the long-term follow-up. The first case was in 1998. We're now doing the follow-up, which goes back almost 30 years.
SPEAKER 03 :
The condition is about... And I hate to interrupt you, but for people that aren't as familiar with it, I had a girlfriend who was very young when she had her first baby. She's now in her 20s. And they told her that her baby had spina bifida and said, when do you want to schedule the abortion, basically? And she was like, what? You know, she didn't even know what it was. And so she, you know, did some research, et cetera. And this kid is amazing. They have four, five kids. And she's like the light of their lives and helps with the other kids, et cetera. And, you know, she does have some issues with walking, et cetera, wears braces. But, you know, a high functioning mentally, you know, has graduated from high school and did really well. But I mean, that's the option that some people are given and they don't even know about you. So that's another reason I think what you do is so amazing. Like people who would have not kept their baby... we're letting people know that, hey, there's this other option where they can have a much better, possibly, quality of life if they have this fetal surgery. So I just wanted to throw that in there.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, and that's one of the reasons why we're doing the interview now, just for information so that folks can be knowledgeable and aware. The second most common operation we do is an operation for twin-twin transfusion syndromes called fetoscopic laser therapy. Well, what is that? Well, Twin-twin transfusion syndrome, TTTS for short, is identical twins in the uterus, of course, each within their own amniotic sac. As opposed to each of the two twins having their own placenta, which is the disc between the mother and the fetus's umbilical cord, these twins share a placental disc, one placenta. And the setup is that there's an imbalance of circulation such that there are abnormal crossing blood vessels from one side to the other, such that one twin, one identical twin, gets too much blood and develops congestive heart failure, and the other twin doesn't get enough blood and goes into kidney failure, and both twins will go on to die, unless you do fetoscopic laser therapy. So what is that? Well, the mother has sedation, sedation, It's a fetus coat placed through her abdominal wall, like laparoscopy, into the uterus. We visualize that the sona use a laser fiber that will coagulate or occlude those culprit vessels. And in most instances, both twins save.
SPEAKER 03 :
You know, the work you do is so highly specialized. And I was reading about an award you received last year. And in the article I was reading, it said that you trained over 50 other or helped, you know, train 50 other doctors. And it talked about other people. So not only are you doing this groundbreaking surgery, but, you know, in Philadelphia, you're also helping, you know, other younger people learn to do what you do, because obviously there will be a time when you're not doing this anymore. So I think that's pretty a pretty cool privilege as well.
SPEAKER 06 :
I think so, and it's an important part of our mission, of course, to train future professors who now run fetal programs throughout North America, South America, Europe, Far East. That's very gratifying, and it provides greater access for more patients, more unborn patients.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, I could talk to you for another half an hour, but I know that I've got a time limit here, so we've got another minute. Besides giving us the website, what else do you want us to know?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, the future's bright. Talked a little bit about the artificial womb, about in-utero gene editing. There's a lot of other stuff going on. Very, very, very exciting. That's three varies.
SPEAKER 02 :
Would you give us the website so we can get more information, doctor? And I'd love to have you back. You're always welcome on the good news.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thank you. Fetal surgery, one word, that.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, always a pleasure. Dr. Scott Adzik, always a pleasure to have you on fetalsurgery.chop.edu. Thank you so much. A real blessing to have you on the show.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thank you.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, he is amazing. I just, like I said in the intro, I just was so, you know, I've interviewed him before. And when he told me the story about the kids, you know, getting together for that, you know, yearly party to kind of celebrate their lives, seeing those kids toss the football and play and do all those things and just be amazing. living their lives because of this fetal surgery that he has done on them for various issues. Some of the heart issues are obviously life-saving and the spina bifida surgery is life-changing. So, wow, I just think what he does is... I mean, not many people can do what he does. All right. So, and how cool that he's training so many other physicians to, you know, do the kind of work that he does because it's not that common. All right. So I started this last week where I told you, you know, let's find our passions because I love to talk to all these people about how they, you know, got a passion for what they do in my 30 plus years now of interviewing thousands of people. I just love to hear why they chose what they do. And, You know, I've interviewed so many interesting people in, you know, politics or, you know, physicians always fascinate me. Their brains are so wonderful. And, you know, nonprofits, you know, my friend Lloyd Lewis that does work with kids with cognitive deficits. You know, kids are differently abled and, you know, maybe had a hard time getting through school. And, you know, he gives them benefits. jobs and they add so much to the organization. They have such big hearts. I mean, some of the kids that I've met with Down syndrome, his son has Down syndrome, are some of the most loving people I've ever met in my life. It's like they have an extra gene for love, you know, and joy and happiness. So then that became his passion, you know, working with You know, young people, you know, who he employs over 500 now ambassadors. So how do we find our passion? And I've told you repeatedly, I'm looking for my next thing after my kids are raised. So what am I going to do? Am I going to volunteer with pets? You know, so as I mentioned last week, so number one, reflect on your interests, you know, minor animals, kids, older people. um being active hiking you know and then identify your strengths so you know i love ymca the rockies maybe i go up there you know in the summers and i lead hikes i knew a guy who did that and you live up there and you don't really get paid much you just kind of get free room and board and spend the summer but you know ymca the rockies and that's always kind of intrigued me how fun would that be um and then keep you know besides your strengths and you know what you're interested in what do you spend your time on so pay attention to what you do in your free time you know what are you doing in your free time are you exercising are you Are you lifting? Are you spending time with your pets? Are you going for walks with your dogs? Are you volunteering at the local elementary school? Are you helping kids learn how to read? Are you volunteering? Like, you know, volunteering might be a great way too to figure out your next even career path, right? Because you can volunteer in an area of interest. Internships, I think, are great ways to really get your foot in the water. My daughter wants to be an attorney, and I'm like, you should definitely do an internship at a law office and really be with these attorneys and see what they do before you make that kind of a commitment to that kind of education. Explore new things. Try new activities. Meet new people. Connections. Meeting people is so important. Just getting out there, chatting with people. You can even ask for connections on social media. Hey, does anybody know anybody that works with animals? Does anybody know anyone that works in law? And people will connect you with people. It's amazing what they do. I just had a really sweet friend of my daughter's move to Colorado Springs and she was homeschooled and really involved in her church. And I knew a girl that I met at 10, who's now close to 30. And I knew she was really involved in kids ministry, particularly working with young women. And I knew she'd have connections for her. So I just randomly connected them on text. And hopefully they're going to be able to, you know, the older girls can be able to connect the younger girl to some other Christians in her community. So I'm very hopeful for that. And then journaling. I mentioned that last week to write down your thoughts, your feelings, your direction. I think sometimes we get direction when we kind of do prayer and journaling to kind of get an idea of, you know, where we want to go. And writing for me really helps me get those ideas out and put them on paper. And that kind of guides me. But then speaking of guidance, seek out someone, a mentor, a friend. I used to have an accountability partner, which was another newswoman in Los Angeles. She's still the main anchor at Fox in L.A., And we would hold each other accountable every week. We'd go over, you know, what were your goals? Did you follow through on what you wanted to do? Did you do blah, blah, blah? So and then think about your values, you know, what might work for you, you know, in terms of your own values and what's important to you. So, yeah, all of that. And, you know, of course, fears like get rid of those. Just go for it if you want to try something new. All right. This is Angie Austin. Thanks so much for listening to the good news.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
