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SPEAKER 05 :
welcome to the good news with angie austin now with the good news here's angie hey there it's angie austin and dr cheryl lentz with the good news and today we are talking about difficult things that really have payoff so things you'd rather put off but the payoff is is as you know pretty impressive hey cheryl
SPEAKER 06 :
Hello, hello, hello. Hi, everybody.
SPEAKER 05 :
Hey, I was thinking about this today, actually, because my daughters are doing their finals for high school, and my senior went into finals with grades that were not so hot, and she brought them all up, and a couple of them significantly. And so, yeah, and I said to her, I said, it can be hard and boring, like memorizing things and studying. I'm like, but isn't the payoff great?
SPEAKER 06 :
Some interesting lessons for... Not the instant gratification that our society is known for, that actually hard work has a longer payoff. So good lesson there, Mom.
SPEAKER 05 :
And Jim Stovall, our buddy, believes in pre-crastination. And he said his old secretary that he had for like, you know, 50 years, she just retired. Maybe it was 40. But she used to put all these things down that he'd already done. And he said, well, those are done already. She goes, I know, but it's so satisfying to cross them off.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, that's what I tell my students. I don't have a to-do list. I have a to-done list. Oh, I love that. If it goes on the list, it has to come off. And I get annoyed if something's been on there too long. That's the motivation going, I don't like when things hang out there. They've got to have a new list.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, that's so funny. All right. This one I really like because I've thought about it many times just with my faith and everything, really giving everything my all. And it's start putting your heart and soul into the little things you do. So let's say like I'm doing the dishes and I just stack them all sloppy and then a glass falls off and breaks. I know it sounds silly, but to really do everything you do well.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, and I think that's important because how you do one thing is how you do everything.
SPEAKER 05 :
That's interesting. That's so funny. That's what grandpa said to me when someone brought this crummy salad with, you know, big onion chunks in it and some small, the strawberries were cut all shabbily. It was really not pretty. And it was, you know, a relative that doesn't seem to care much. And he said, See, that's why we just don't even ask people to bring anything. I'd rather be responsible for everything. I'm like a little stick to still taste good because you have it. How she does one thing is how she does everything. She doesn't put any care into it whatsoever.
SPEAKER 06 :
You know, and that's why, you know, it's one of those if you look at from a religious standpoint, if If God can't trust you to do the little things, why is he going to trust you to do the big things?
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, good one. Okay. Here's one I think that you've done that you do do because you were such an exceptional student and organ player for many years. And to start stretching yourself to the edge of your ability. I don't think most of us do that.
SPEAKER 06 :
No, because it's safe for not to. I try to tell my students it's when we're out of our comfort zone is where the learning happens, because you already know what's in your comfort zone. It's when you have to find things you don't know, and what you don't know is uncomfortable. And so I want my students to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, I love that to get comfortable being uncomfortable because, you know, my friend just the other day, Michelle was saying she's 80. She takes field trips still because she was a teacher and she and her husband, he's a retired teacher. They take these really cool field trips to like the puzzle museum and the celestial tea factory and Hammond's candy factory. And I'm like,
SPEAKER 06 :
oh that's so cool she's like when you stop learning like you die she said something that john wooden coach john wooden said something like that but when you stop learning you're basically dead you know that you have to keep learning it's a lie i mean you look at the idea of lifelong learning is what do you want to be when you grow up and if you never grow up you're always in pursuit and that's was the secret for one of john stovall's book is the point isn't the answer the point is in the quest for the answers
SPEAKER 05 :
oh he's my favorite all right um another one start giving yourself more grace when things don't go well or when you do fail and part of your um like when your ted talks wasn't it about kind of failing to success oh absolutely succeed soon or fail faster succeed sooner oh i like that you've got all these great things i used to teach that all the time and i've scared the heck out of most of my bosses they're like you want to do what
SPEAKER 06 :
I'm like, I want to teach them how to do things the wrong way, how to get it out of their system and be done with it so we can get to the good stuff. And they're like, oh, but anything takes a learning curve. And most of us don't have the patience because failure is just another way of learning.
SPEAKER 05 :
I like this one, and it's funny because I think you also sidestep unnecessary drama, but you're also extremely honest. So people might think you're creating drama when I don't think you like drama. You like honesty, but some people aren't used to honesty, and so they might think that you're being blunt. When in reality, you're just being honest. You're not trying to be hurtful. And so this one is sidestep drama when possible. And I have to say, I feel like I do that. I'm constantly tap dancing and sidestepping drama because my husband loves a good argument and I don't. And so I'm always trying to calm the waters at home.
SPEAKER 06 :
But I think it's the purpose of it. Sometimes some people have the, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And some of us also have the, if it ain't broke, you need to break it. It all depends on what the situation calls for. No, I don't like drama. But I also realize that there are problems that are not going to get better if we ignore them. And sometimes you have to have that upfront, honest conversation. But I think I've learned how to do it a little bit more diplomatically.
SPEAKER 05 :
I think you have.
SPEAKER 06 :
More preparation.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yes.
SPEAKER 06 :
Than trying to just say, hey, you suck. Yeah, that's not going to go over real well.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, yeah. Okay, here's one I like a lot. Make sure that you're true to your values and convictions. Because if you aren't, how do you even live with yourself, right?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, and that's something that I remember a coach of mine asking is, what's your philosophy? Because we always in business create vision statements, right? And we always do it for the company, but we had to do it for us. And that's what guides me is to be able to make sure, am I being true to me? And there was one time that I wasn't and I had to quit my job to be successful elsewhere because they passed that line and I couldn't do it.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, start looking for the silver linings. I think that's something I try to do, you know, with the kids. Like, my husband just threw out, like, $1,500 worth of shoes of my son's that he'd sold, and they were in the same bags that I do my donations in. And it was funny because he had them divided left and right. So he still has all the right shoes, but my husband donated all the left shoes. All right. and so but then my husband bought him this really neat trailer for his you know work and it's like an enclosed trailer like really nice like one of those big Harley ones and I'm like see didn't that kind of make up for the shoe situation that he bought and now he's fixing it up for my son to use at thrift con and you know I'm like so look at the silver lining you've got to let go of the shoes it's done like what's done is done
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, and that's it. You can't undo unring the bell. You can't pull the bottle. You can't rewrite history. All you can do is what are you going to do with the history that's written? You have a choice on how you show up and when you show up differently. So does the world. But you can't change what's happened.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, we're almost out of time, but I just want to mention this one because I think I did this a lot in trying to get ahead in my career. Start taking the next small step and the next and the next. Like your goals might take years, but if you take that little step each day, it's not that painful, but each day you're taking one more step. And some days you may take a really big step and some days you might take a step back, but start taking the next small step. Okay, Cheryl, stick around because I've got some great ideas coming up for last minute shopping with an expert. but I want to make sure people can find you as well. Dr. Cheryl Lentz.com and Merry Christmas, my friend.
SPEAKER 06 :
Merry Christmas to you.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, changing gears a bit. You know, shopping season is really starting to wind down. But for many people, there's always a, you know, kind of a last-minute scramble to find gifts. And here to help is award-winning journalist and shopping expert, Claudia Lombana. Claudia is an Emmy and Peabody Award winner who regularly analyzes shopping trends for TV and radio. Welcome, Claudia.
SPEAKER 07 :
Thanks for having me. I'm happy to be here.
SPEAKER 05 :
You are welcome. All right, so how many of us really wait until the last minute to kind of shop or finish things up?
SPEAKER 07 :
Well, you are not alone. Let's put it that way. We are really a procrastination nation. According to the National Retail Federation, 53% of us will be shopping on Super Saturday, which is the last Saturday before Christmas, the 21st of December. That's 126 million people, so a lot of us waiting until the last minute.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yikes. All right, let's talk about maybe a hot gift that you think will still be available out there.
SPEAKER 07 :
Yeah, so far this season, video games have been very hot, and this year we've got the newest in the franchise, Sonic, rather, the Hedgehog. We know and love. It's been around for decades, and the new game is called Sonic X Shadow Generations. This combines classic Sonic and modern Sonic in an all-new collection featuring 2D and 3D Sonic levels. The gamers are going to love this new Sonic X Shadow Generations. It is available digitally and physically starting under $50, and it's available on all the platforms, including PlayStation 5 and 4, Xbox Series XS, Xbox One, the Nintendo Switch family, and PC.
SPEAKER 05 :
Okay, that might sound like that. How about something unique?
SPEAKER 07 :
Yeah, I think we've all got those people in our lives that are kind of the person that has everything. What do I get them? think a really cool and unique gift is giving the gift of language with Rosetta Stone lifetime unlimited membership we've got 50% off for the holidays that gives you access forever to all 25 of the languages that Rosetta Stone offers for just $199 this is a really cool idea to help somebody learn a new language maybe the traveler in your life they're going to a different country sometime in 2025 and they can learn a new language hmm
SPEAKER 05 :
All right. I like that idea because it can be difficult when you're in a class doing it. So I like the idea of kind of doing it without being, you know, graded and judged. All right. I don't know if everyone still does stockings, but we do. Any stocking stuffer ideas?
SPEAKER 07 :
Absolutely. Now, my favorite stocking stuffer is to combine the idea of self-care with a gift. And we can do that this year with the Massage Envy gift card.
SPEAKER 04 :
And this is one gifted.
SPEAKER 07 :
Everybody will love. Yeah, and Massage Envy isn't just massages. They've got everything from results-driven facials, of course the soothing massages, but they also have innovative stretching services. Nice. With a gift card from Massage Envy, yeah, you can let loved ones choose how they want to spend their quality self-care time. Now, they have a great deal going from now until the end of the year through December 31st. If you buy any combination of $100 worth of Massage Envy gift cards in location, you You're going to get a free $20 promo card to use later. So this is a good way to give a gift to somebody else and to yourself. Some terms do apply. And you can get more information at MassageEnvy.com.
SPEAKER 05 :
And I don't know if a lot of people realize it, but massage and stretching is very therapeutic, too. You think it's just like, oh, it's just fun. It just feels good. It's actually extremely good for your body. And they have great prices, too, I think, compared to many of the spas. They're very reasonable. All right. What about the gift that'll, you know... I think I know what you're going to talk about here because I saw, we chatted a little bit, and I saw your idea before we started, that light that can light up the holidays for someone. I think this might be something good for teenagers too.
SPEAKER 07 :
I think anybody can really use this. Now, this is the GE Sync Indoor Smart Plug. This is a great last-minute gift or stocking supper to make your holiday decorations smart. So the way that the GE Sync Indoor Smart Plug works is – You can plug anything into it, really. But for holidays, plug in your lights, your tree, any other light-up holiday decorations, and then you can control them with your voice, your phone, or the Sync app. So you just set it up to plug in. You turn your lights on and off at desired times. You can set that up as well. This is ideal for taking control of your holiday decor and making it smart. And after the holidays are over, you can plug anything into this guy to make anything smart. So I have a friend who uses it for her flat iron. I forgot to turn on my flat iron. Let me just hop on the phone or on my app, and I can turn it off remotely from there. This is a really cool thing. The GE Sync Indoor Smart Plug, you can find it on Amazon for under $20.
SPEAKER 05 :
I was going to do it for my daughter's dorm room for next year for her lights, but she just called me like two days ago and said, Mom, I left the house. Can you go see if I left my flat iron on? I want to burn the house down. And she hadn't, but her makeup mirror was on. I thought, oh, well, I didn't know I could use it for that. That's great. Where do we go for more info for all of this stuff, Claudia?
SPEAKER 07 :
You can head over to tipsontv.com.
SPEAKER 05 :
Tipsontv.com. Excellent. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER 07 :
You bet. Happy shopping.
SPEAKER 05 :
You too.
SPEAKER 03 :
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SPEAKER 02 :
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SPEAKER 05 :
Hello, friend. It's Angie Austin and the Kid Whisperer, Jeff Schott, and we are talking about his book. We're going to kind of break it down chapter by chapter, and the book is What's Really Causing My Kid's Behavior. Jeff Schott, welcome.
SPEAKER 04 :
Angie, it's great to be with you.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, so I want to start with chapter one because I thought, you know what, we can kind of work our way through the book and kind of, you know, break down parenting chapter by chapter. And the first chapter is compliance versus change. What do you mean by that and what are you teaching us as parents?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I think one of the challenges that I faced was when I started in my parenting journey and my first two kids of four were already in the house, I was doing the traditional parenting route. which what I discovered in the research I did with 3,000 kids meant I was getting my kids to comply, but their attitudes, their desires, their underlying feelings weren't changing. They were complying because they wanted to avoid the consequences or the spanking, but they weren't necessarily changing their perspective, their thoughts, their ideas, their attitudes.
SPEAKER 05 :
I like that. And when you say traditional way of parenting, I think it's probably the way many of us do. But I have to be honest with you, Jeff. I think a lot of people are actually a lot more lax than my husband and I are. And I know I'm considered by the kids to be the nicer parent per se. But when we come up with a punishment, we stick with it. We're not those fake punishment parents. They're like, you know, if you don't clean the bathroom, you're not going to Disney World. And then, of course, the kid knows that, of course, they're still going to Disney World because maybe you've traveled to Florida, right? And my husband did try that once while we were in Florida. He told the kids, if you don't behave yourself, we're not going to Disney World tomorrow. They go, oh, no, no, no. I said, we're not doing that punishment because that punishes mommy. I'm like, so we're going to have a punishment we really do, not a fake punishment. Because I see so many parents threaten and never follow through. So when you say you did the old school parenting, I think I might be what you're talking about, the old school, my way or the highway kind of, a bit.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, no, that's definitely what we're talking about, but we're also talking about the threats. I mean threats are, again, targeted at getting compliance, right? Yes, yes. And when you look at the way Jesus led and you see how he brought about deep internal change in the disciples' desires – they went on and they continued in the faith and they actually went to their deaths for the faith, right? They obviously had internal desire change. They learned to love the sheep and lay down their lives for the sheep just like Jesus. And today what we see is so many kids are complying with their parents until they leave home. And the second they're out of home and the parents aren't there to force them to comply anymore, They go a thousand different directions, and a vast majority of them leave the faith. And so we're not getting that heart change that we see Jesus got.
SPEAKER 05 :
You know, I think about my, okay, I'm in like a mom's dorm room group. And so it's thousands of moms with kids that are like a lot of them freshmen, right? And a couple of them have mentioned that, you know, what you're saying, like I had a straight A student, you know, everything was on time. You know, they were in sports, they had clubs, they were in honor society and did their volunteer work. But the mom micromanaged every second of their day. So straight, a student goes off to college and we expect that kid to succeed because that kid was, you know, the kid, the valedictorian. And then they're like falling through the cracks and just things aren't getting done. And the mom, you know, the specific mom that was mentioning this in the mom's group said, I think it's because I did a lot for them and I really didn't make them accountable for their behavior. Like I managed their lives.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, well, what we saw in the research was we saw valedictorians who got to school, and they got their full-ride scholarship, and they got their spending money for the first semester, and they blew all their money in over three or four weeks.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, my gosh.
SPEAKER 04 :
That's so funny you say that. And the parents didn't have money to help them get through the rest of the semester, and they ended up back home because they didn't know how to manage money. And so when we did this research, what we found is kids weren't prepared to manage their own priorities, to manage their time, to manage their social decisions. Because the parents, out of fear, which I totally understand because I had the same fear with middle school and high school students. You know, we're controlling them, preventing them from doing things. And so built all this back pressure, like I'm prevented from doing this and I'm prevented from doing that. I'm prevented from doing this. And my parents are controlling my money and my parents are controlling everything. And they get on campus and they don't know how to manage any of it.
SPEAKER 05 :
and all that back pressure of having been prevented and controlled goes hog wild on campus it's so funny you say that because just last night my son who's a freshman said said to me we're sorry i'm sorry about that i'm just coughing he said to me mom it happened he said mom i don't want to be like these kids he goes i've seen their bank accounts he said one of my friends has six dollars in his account
SPEAKER 04 :
Right. Yeah. And that's where I think we've lost the whole point of the word discipline. Biblically, in biblical times, not today, but in biblical times, discipline meant teaching, training, and upbringing. It's the root word of discipleship, which is what Jesus did with the disciples. Discipline is the root word of discipleship, not the root word of punishment. And so what we're not doing is is helping our kids learn. I wish consequences taught kids to learn, but our research proved beyond a shadow of doubt that they don't learn a thing from consequences. They're up in their room lamenting the consequence, frustrated with their parent, and going, My parents, they sometimes yell at me. No one takes their cell phone away. How is this fair? How is this right? They're not learning because when we issue a consequence, it shuts down having a productive conversation about what were you feeling? What went wrong? Why did you make this decision? What are you going to learn from this decision? And helping and discipling them and helping them learn from their own mistakes. Because failure, you know, the world says we learn more from our failures than our successes, and somehow in the church for parents it's become never fail or else. And that's not realistic because we're in person inside of heaven, right? Right. So how do we get change? We have to go after what caused them in the first place to make the mistake. What emotional things were going on that led to, example from our previous radio program, your daughter hanging out in the parking lot and driving over curbs. The parking lot kids, yes. Right. What caused her to need to do that? What's going on inside her that caused her to make those decisions? Helping her understand that through doing deeper conversations and helping them realize these things is how they start to learn. to avoid making such stupid decisions when they get out and are away from our consequences that keep them compliant.
SPEAKER 05 :
You know what's amazing to me about all of that is we really didn't punish her per se. We did stop sleepovers, but we really didn't punish, but not at our house. She can have people here. We just didn't let her sleep, but we haven't let her. But other than that, there was no taking the phone away. There was no, you know, she still worked her job. We didn't take any money. We didn't take the car. We didn't take the phone. We didn't ground her. But I told her she was very, like, very embarrassed when we, you know, went on her phone and saw the videos of her driving over the curb and blah, blah, blah. So she she was so, like, ashamed. She said, I said, just not you. It's not your behavior. That's not who you are. You know, I mean, she is in young life. You know, she leads a Bible study for the young athlete. She goes to church every week and she has youth group. And then she has fellowship of Christian athletes. That's five times a week that she voluntarily on her own, you know, gets up at six o'clock in the morning, like to do the Bible study this morning. OK, so and meets the kids before school. OK, so with that said, it didn't like fit who she was and she was so embarrassed by it. And that was her biggest thing. She was embarrassed. And with and again, no, no punishments per se. And she stopped. I mean, she really turned her. It was probably like a month of bad summertime behavior that we figured out when we went into her phone, which I just said, give me your phone. You know, and I just went in and went through like all the Snapchat and all that, tried to figure out all the different apps and the hidden pictures and the for your eyes only. I'm like, what's the code for for your eyes only? Like whose eyes? Because this is my phone. That's for my eyes too. So anyway, once we uncovered all that, I didn't shame her. I'm like, don't be embarrassed. It's over. It's a new slate. And again, I was surprised my husband went along with the no punishment. And she really stopped. She really turned it around. And I know a lot of kids, you know, buck that kind of, you know, abrupt halt in their behavior where we're like, no, this isn't going to fly. This isn't who you are. And she really did turn it around because she realized that wasn't her identity.
SPEAKER 04 :
Right. And I think, you know, what we've seen is if you can go even deeper with them and dig down to the roots of what was motivating you. Right. What's going on inside of you? Is there a disconnect with us as your parents? Is there a disconnect going on where you hurt with another friend group and so you you needed to replace it? Helping them dig deeper is really important. The other thing parents have to be on guard for, unfortunately, is our research also found that 70 to 90 percent of Christian kids were leading dual lives. So the fact that they're at Young Life and the fact that they're a youth group doesn't necessarily mean that they're not being pulled down dangerous roads. In fact, most of the kids in the research said the first time I was offered drugs or the first time I was offered to hook up or the first time I was offered drugs, Wow. Yeah. Yeah. from the research we did.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, yeah. Well, I do with my son, and again, I was probably most afraid with him of him kind of detaching from the faith when he went up to college. And I think I've told you that his young life on campus is like thriving and really big, and they have a big... a building on campus or right across the street, which is rare on a campus of 40,000 people to be right there on campus and be able to afford a building to be so close to the kids and convenient. That's really been his main socialization. He's not in a frat, so that's like his frat. So I'm happy to say he hasn't left the faith. But, you know, I think that is a fear of a lot of parents when we're not the ones, you know, demanding they go to church. But I think the roles have switched in our family. I have to say that my 17-year-old got me to church this weekend, and the two of us went together, and it was, you know, her. Like, she drove me. She's like, Mom, we have to leave in 15 minutes, or somebody make sure Mom's up. You know, and so they actually have kind of taken the lead when it comes to, you know, helping us, you know, get to church.
SPEAKER 04 :
That's great, you know, and that's— That's not that common, as you probably know. And so there's something that's going on there that's causing them to attach, which is great. And going off to Young Life, and Young Life does have a lot of ministries on campuses now. You've got Campus Crusade, Navigators, InterVarsity, all of that. Unfortunately, what we've started to pick up on from those groups in the research and the students we talked to, is that the dual life is unfortunately going on within those ministries now. That wasn't the case 10, 15 years ago. And so once again, being able to talk deeply with your kids and talk to them about, hey, what are the other kids like in the group? Are kids pressuring you to do things? Is there a dual life going on within your ministry? Having the type of relationship where they'll open up and talk with you about those things is where they really begin to grow, where they really begin to learn, where we have the opportunity to disciple them and see internal change as opposed to trying to force compliance. We need to be targeting those deeper conversations and drawing them out because I was stunned when I went to do the research. I had no idea any of this was going on, and when I'd sit down and ask these complete strangers – very deep questions about their life, what they were frustrated with in their homes, what they were thinking about the college transition, what was going on in their youth group. I was shocked at how many of them were like, I've gotten sucked into the dual life myself. I don't want to. I didn't want to, but I am. And they would tell me these stories and sometimes just them sharing that with me, me, got them to break out of that pattern because they talked about it.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, and it's not their identity. Well, we're out of time. Again, it's Jeff Schott. He joins us weekly. What's really causing my kids bad behavior? Thank you, Jeff.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you, Angie.
SPEAKER 01 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
Join Angie Austin as she hosts a heartfelt conversation with Grace Fox, diving deep into life's real struggles as shared through compelling stories. From personal journeys of letting go to understanding the psychological roots of attachment, this episode is filled with insight and introspection. Discover how faith and perseverance can transform arduous paths into enlightening experiences. The episode also shifts focus to the pressing topic of foster care, featuring expert insights from Kristen Pratt of Foster More. Learn about the challenges and triumphs involved in fostering and how communities can step up to support this vital cause. It's an episode that underscores resilience, hope, and the courage to face life's uncertainties. Immerse yourself in engaging narratives as our guests share their personal stories of overcoming journeys, the emotional ties to possessions, and the fortitude required in fostering. With thought-provoking discussions on securing peace through faith and fostering hope through love, this episode offers both encouragement and inspiration to navigate your life path.
SPEAKER 02 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now with The Good News, here's Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hello there friend, Angie Austin and Grace Fox. And today we are talking about real life struggles from her book, Fresh Hope for Today, Devotions for Joy on the Journey. Hey Grace. Hi, good to talk to you again. All right, so tell us about real life struggles.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, so I wrote this one after interviewing a friend. Her name was Nancy. She lives in Oregon, actually. And she talked to me about how she and her husband had decided to take a hike. And so they trudged, as she described it, trudged four miles uphill through the forest. And they began second-guessing their wisdom in choosing to do this hike. but she said that they persevered and they got to the top of a, when they got to the top, it was this meadow that was just filled with flowers and glacier fed streams. And she said, it was just so beautiful. They sat down and had a picnic there and thoroughly enjoyed their time. It was that kind of a space where you work so hard to get somewhere. And when you, when you finally arrive, it's just so beautiful. You don't want to leave. And that was like their experience. And, And so when I heard her story, I thought, well, that is like real life in that sometimes we end up on a journey that is so arduous. And it's maybe not by choice, but it's just something that happens. We end up on this path that is so hard. And we just don't know that we're ever going to reach whatever it is we're trying to reach. But finally, the Lord just brings us into a place of rest. and it's it's a place that our soul is longing for after all of that maybe hardship that we've just come through but where we can sit down and we can rest and we know that he's with us and we know that he's got us and he's holding us close but wow it's you know the destination of getting there and experiencing that rest for our soul is good but the pathway to getting there is sometimes really hard
SPEAKER 06 :
Can you think of examples like in your own life where that really applied to you as well? And you're like, oh, I'm going to write this because I can really relate to this.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, I think that when my husband and I sent the Lord nudging us to purge almost all of our earthly belongings to move aboard our sailboat home. And we didn't have a boat. It's not like we had this boat sitting around and we could just move into it. We had to find one that worked for living aboard and find a place to moor it. It was a journey that took a lot of energy mentally and emotionally as I had to part with all of these things that I counted precious. It was a path. It was arduous. And we didn't have a long time to do it. Once we got on it, once we actually found a boat and bought it, we had like six weeks to get rid of our stuff. And it was a path that wore me out in some ways, just emotionally every day, getting up and sorting again and purging again and saying goodbye again to these things that we'd held dear. But once we completed that and arrived, moved into the boat, settled in, And realize that, wow, you know, like this was a time of really stretching our faith and growing our faith. But we saw God come through. And it was a time of thanking him for that opportunity to walk that tough path. But to come to that place of knowing full well that we had obeyed him completely. And there was peace in that, even though I'd said goodbye to all these things that I'd once held dear, there was peace in my heart and there was joy in having obeyed. And it was something that, yeah, we walked that path and it was hard, but wow, it's been worth every step.
SPEAKER 06 :
You know, it's interesting you talk about, you know, peace of letting go of things that you once held dear. It's so hard sometimes to part with them. And there's some organizer lady that, you know, basically says, if you feel, if that item brings you joy, you know, keep it. And of course, if it's something you haven't, you know, used or worn or whatever for many years, you know, even if you're like, oh, I might wear that again. There's really no sense in keeping it. But I wonder why we have such a hard time letting things go. My... Mother-in-law has... The family calls her an organized hoarder. And so she has a basement that's probably 1,500 square feet. And it's the most organized basement stuffed to the brim with like 200 purses, you know, 400 pairs of pants. And they're those stretch pants that... you know like senior citizen ladies wear that you can slide on and have thanksgiving dinner and they still fit just fine in every color of the rainbow and then i'm like well why are there like 20 yellow pairs well she used to be super skinny so there's like you know three pairs and a size four three pairs and a size six three pairs and i'm not i'm like oh my gosh like you could never if you wore these pants every day like You probably, she couldn't even wear them like at the end of her life now and go through all those pants. You know what I mean? Like it's just crazy to me and she won't let us down there. Like my son really wants to go down there because he's a thrifter and he's been allowed down a couple of times like with oversight. Like she'll be down there with him. And he might get like a hockey jersey that my husband had when he was little. Or this last time my son came home with a stack of photographs of like my husband when he was, you know, a kid and in college. And then some from when we first got married, like probably 50 pictures. So that's what he came home with. But usually he gets like a little thing. I even got down there. Oh, I couldn't believe that was allowed down. But I needed one of those like shopping bags kind of like to take on the plane that... you know fooled up and she had some nicer ones down there that were like designed or whatever so I found a small one that you could maybe put like the size of like two bottles of wine maybe so that was perfect for like my snack on the plane I go oh look there's another one there's a matching one I'm thinking oh I should take both right she goes oh no no no no no don't get greedy girl And I'm looking around, right? Even three of the purses that I gave her, they're just hanging down there collecting dust, right? Like coach bags. And I'm like, are you sure you've never used that coach bag? Are you sure you want to keep that? Like I gave that to you 20 years ago. I would definitely use that. Oh, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, what? What is it? I don't understand the psychology grace behind that kind of hoarding. You know what I mean? And I know they say it can relate back to maybe losses. Like her dad was a police officer and he was killed in the line of duty when she was like maybe 8, 9, 10. And I've heard that like losing, like if you lose a child or lose something big, like somehow hanging onto these things. And I know that that's not like the Christian way to do it. We're not supposed to get our like comfort and our like, you know, out of things. They're not supposed to give us like that comfort. Right. But it's perplexing to me. Like I can't wrap my head around it, but it's got to have something to do with it giving you comfort or comfort.
SPEAKER 05 :
um security something like that you know that we're supposed to be secure through christ but apparently we're secure through 200 pairs of pants and 200 purses yeah the word security came to my mind as you were talking and i think that's it is that we look to things for our security but if that house burned down if that house were to burn down today how would she respond right like if she found her security in those things that'd be a significant loss for her But the one thing about hanging on to the Lord and finding our security in him is he's never going to leave us. Nothing's ever going to take him away from us. The scripture says in Romans that nothing separates us from his love. And so no matter what happens, even on those tough walks that we take through life, sometimes doesn't matter where he leads us or what he asks us to go through or what he allows in our life. still we can find hope and we can find peace and we can find joy if our security is in him and not in stuff that can be gone in a heartbeat.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, and I think with so many of the people, I keep seeing these pictures because I've got so many friends in the news business in Los Angeles. And one of my girlfriends went out really early this morning. And, you know, I don't think we can really wrap our heads around the loss that those people experienced, right? And I know everybody says, well, you know, you still have your life and things can be replaced, etc., etc. But it's a whole... change of like all those lives because it's not like a house in your neighborhood burns down and oh you get rid of it you rebuild like it's so toxic up there and now they'll have problems with mudslides right but your grocery store is gone your library is gone your mechanic is gone all your neighbors homes are gone so like then you go up there and you rebuild and in the midst of all this toxic you know material that's up there and even working up there you know how how easy is it going to be to get workers that want to go through all this burnt toxic you know you know destruction that they need to throw into a big dumpster and you know start from the ground up and then the soil and i don't know just that kind of loss um you know, being secure in Christ, we're supposed to find our security there. But I can imagine when you return to your neighborhood and you don't even know if there's a possibility of you rebuilding, like, I'm very curious to see what it'll be like in 20 years. I'm assuming the oceanfront Malibu homes where those people have money coming out of their ears and they're like $10 million houses, those will get rebuilt because even if you don't have insurance money, you're loaded and you can rebuild. And the people in Pacific Palisades, you know, those are very expensive homes too in the millions, but some of them may have been in a different position of maybe owning it for 30 years and they they aren't multi-millionaires it just became millionaires because the you know real estate values went up so much but you know i'm just very curious to see what that will be like in 20 or or so years if it is all rebuilt because it is such a prime spot but i sometimes i feel like so the picture that i had when my friend sent all these pictures out today um was of just kind of despair and just kind of like a hopelessness that many of them feel about, you know, where do we go from here kind of feeling. And I think some of us have that feeling about other things in life, you know, where we end of a relationship oh gosh where do i go from here or the loss of someone a loved one you know how do i work my way through this how do i claw my way out of this i just watched a documentary um on avicii this dj who was so talented just oh so talented and he committed suicide and i just thought to myself like gosh, you were such a genius with creating music. If you didn't want to do those concerts, couldn't you just stop doing the concerts and just create with other, he was working with the top of the top of the top, you know, musicians. And couldn't you just do that? Like, couldn't you see your way out of it? And I know that that's why we have faith. I know that's why we have like the Lord to turn to. But I just think people get lost in a sea of despair sometimes.
SPEAKER 05 :
I agree with you on that. I think depression and anxiety are on the rise. And I just want to encourage listeners today to not give up, to keep putting that one foot in front of the other, just like my friend and her husband, as they were going on that path. They didn't know it was going to be four miles long. They didn't know how long it was going to take or how arduous, how steep it got. They just heard it was a great path. So, you know, the path that we end up on, we don't know where it's going to lead to eventually. We don't know sometimes how steep it's going to get. But like these poor people that have lost so much out in California, they don't know how long this is going to take before they can return to their life or what their life is going to look like. What is their new normal going to be? Where is their workplace going to be? Where are their kids going to go to school? What about their church family if they lost their church? So, you know, everything is disrupted in their lives. But to not give up hope, just every day put one foot in front of the other on that path and persevere because eventually it will even out. We don't know what that will look like. There are no guarantees, but It's going to be okay is what we want to say, right? It's going to be okay.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I always love, you know, your Fresh Hope for Today devotions. That's the book, Fresh Hope for Today, Devotions for Joy on the Journey. If you want some hope, it's a great book. Always enjoy talking to Grace Fox. And if you want to find her and her books, you can go to gracefox.com. Thank you, friend. Thank you.
SPEAKER 03 :
Manitou Springs is listening to the Mighty 670 KLT.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 06 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. Well, you know, if you've listened to the program over the years, I guess I've been on, gosh, radio and TV like 25 years. So many of you know my background and I have a real heart for foster care because I spent some time in foster care growing up and really was appreciative of the families that took me in. Joining us is Kristen Pratt, and she is with Foster More, the leadership team. Welcome, Kristen.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much for having me, Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right, so let's just start off, first of all, I know that there is a need for foster care. I've seen books where it's like page after page after page of kids that are looking for homes. So is this crisis in America worse now? And just tell us about the foster care crisis in general.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, so... Any given day, it fluctuates a bit, but there are approximately 400,000 children in foster care in America. So it is, it has seen some slight improvements the last few years, but a lot of those kids are experiencing, you know, over two to three placements a year, the majority of them. And so there's a real need for loving, stable homes for these kids who are facing a lot of obstacles.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yes. Oh my goodness. All right. So I know that you guys do some research and there was a barrier, a significant barrier preventing, you know, families from stepping forward to, I'll tell you what my mind would be. Well, first of all, I have three teenagers, five pets and off and on my 82 year old mom. But my barrier would probably be my husband. But I might be able to work on him like once the kids are gone, because they're all in high school now. But the barrier for me is my spouse, like I would do foster care. And I know it's rough. I don't have any fairy tale like version of how difficult it could potentially be. So what are the barriers that people see in terms of becoming foster parents?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I mean, that is a barrier, like your spouse, you have to both be on board. But We always tell people, too, there's a need for foster parents of all kinds, all ages, you know, empty nesters, young people, older people, single people. So there's really, you know, anyone can step up there. And one of the things that we found that people would say is that they couldn't take the time off work. So they'd say, well, my job doesn't allow for me to take that time off work. And, you know, like there's a lot that goes into that. Um, when the child is placed in the home, not only do you need that time to bond with, with some child who has by definition experienced some trauma, but you also need the time to get them enrolled in a new school and doctor's appointments and, you know, all the appointments. So you really, it's important to have that time off when the child joins a home and a lot of businesses don't provide for that. And it stops a lot of potential foster parents from moving forward when they find out that information.
SPEAKER 06 :
Um, have you, have you, like, is this something that you try to address with businesses to try to, I know that my, my station that I worked for one of the gals on the, one of the weather women, uh, adopted a child and she got, you know, the typical time off that you would get. But in this case it was an infant, but I know some businesses do give you time off, but I would. assume with a single parent that that would just kind of like you know take that option off the plate for them to become a foster parent but do um does the foster care system help with things like um you know daycare if you're getting like a kid that's two three four that needs you know daycare during the day they do there are it depends on the state you live in but there are some you know provisions for that and that's another thing that we work with businesses like if a business has on-site child care um we ask that you know
SPEAKER 04 :
youth in foster care if someone becomes a foster parent their child can be um immediately have access to the to the facility yeah but um yeah one of the things we realized is that a lot of the businesses that were offering like you were talking about adoption paid time off for adoption or birth foster care was just overlooked because yes you know a lot of people think of foster care as a road to adoption. And so they get, you know, the time off when the child is adopted, but you really need that time off when the child is placed in the home. And the child is not always adopted in foster care. About half the time they're reunited with the parents. So we need all different kinds of homes, people that want to adopt, people that want to be there for a family that needs some support. And so we want to make sure that businesses are specifically giving that time off for just being a foster parent
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, I understand that Foster More is obviously helping with this whole workplace initiative, you know, trying to get places to make it more, you know, user-friendly to become a foster parent. Can you talk about that?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So at Foster More, we have sort of like a ladder of engagement on our website. We try to engage people in all different ways. So, you know, if you want to learn about becoming a mentor for youth in foster care, if you want to have the opportunity to pack a duffel bag or get involved and volunteer in different ways, you can start on our website to do that. And one of the tabs on the website is to become a foster parent, where you can fill out a little form, and then we can connect you with someone, depending on where you live, someone in your local area that can help you learn about becoming a foster parent. And the same thing for the workplace pledge, there's a tab on the website where you can learn more about If you're a business owner or an employee and you're interested in having your business become officially foster-friendly, you can do that on the website, too, and we'd be happy to talk more to anyone about their business becoming foster-friendly.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. I'm just wondering, you know, for people listening today who are thinking about becoming a foster parent, I know a lot of it seems like overwhelming and, you know, all the things you have to tackle to be approved, et cetera. So how do you recommend people get, you know, started on the process? Obviously your website with all the tabs, you know, a really good idea. But how can someone personally, I mean, talking to someone, that's a great idea that you just gave us. What else?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, well, again, research shows that it takes about 18 months to two years for people. Once they start thinking about becoming a foster parent, you know, do you have the idea to actually become a foster parent? So, you know, it does take, and as it should take a lot of thought for people, it takes a lot of research. So it's something you can start looking into. It's a little bit different than requirements in every state. You can start asking people about it. You can look into other ways to, to get involved and volunteer first. I mean, the need is great for foster parents, but if you want to learn more about foster care, you can volunteer. There are tons of amazing organizations all across the country doing great work. You can learn more about how to get involved in different ways. you know, maybe on the path to becoming a foster parent, as well.
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, in your particular case, what I always love to get people's passion for things, obviously, I'm interested in this topic, because I live with families and relatives, and I only had one, quote, unquote, official foster home, but I had many places where I stayed, you know, so what what what is behind your passion for this kind of work?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I've always been involved in working with kids. I have a background in special education and I became a CASA, which is a court appointed advocate. And that's something people can look into as well, where you support a youth in foster care, you go to court with them and you're sort of their mentor and their person along the way. And so I learned a lot about foster care that way. And just, you know, the more it's something that, like I was saying, people don't talk about that much, but it's such a big issue. And once you, it's like you can't unsee, you know, what you've seen and what you've learned. And it really requires so many more people to step up in any way that you can. And I think it's something that you realize, like, we're all connected to this issue. It's not just a sort of other or someone, you know, far off that you don't know. Like you said, like almost all the time, When we talk to people at businesses, we hear stories like yours where it was like I was in foster care. My cousin was in foster care. My parents were. I was a foster parent. And so so many people are connected. And it's just not only when you provide the workplace benefits, you're also getting people to talk about it, too, which is so important. And that's why we really appreciate you having us on, too, so we can talk about it.
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, I'm wondering in terms of I know that there's like people are thinking, oh, foster care, you know, I'm going to have this kid for 18 years. But there are other, you know, that sounds terrible, but I said it like that. But you know what I mean? Like people are overwhelmed by the prospect of having a child that long or maybe someone, you know, like myself, who's already raised their kids, who's maybe looking at teens or something of the sort. I know you can specify what you're interested in, but is there also like emergency short-term care where you might just have a baby for a week or, you know, like shorter-term options per se? Now, one of my girlfriends, she's a nurse, her husband's a doctor. They did have a short-term situation. And then once the little girl had stayed with them for quite some time, she told me, well, we're going to adopt her. And I was like, wow, like your kids are in college, like yikes. And she said it's the right thing to do because she'd been with them for so long.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So most places you can sign up for respite care. So that's basically like giving a foster parent a weekend break or a few day break. Oh, I've never heard of that. Yeah. So that's a really cool way to sort of like dip your toe in and get involved. It's called respite care. And also there's a really huge need for people that don't want to adopt from foster care that they just want to support. Because like I was saying, the goal of foster care, the ultimate goal is is to support whole families so that kids can be reunified. And that, you know, doesn't always happen. And sometimes, you know, the best situation is for them to stay with the foster parents. But if at all possible, you try to support a whole family so that the child can be reunited with their biological parents. And that requires people to step up temporarily, right? Like that's so important. And I think a lot of times people think of it more as like a road to path to adoption, which it can be. But there's a huge need for people that want to just be there and provide a safe, loving, supportive space for a child in the family who's going through a crisis.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. We only have a couple of minutes left, but I can't believe I've never heard of respite care. Okay. So would you keep the child for the day or is this something like more like several days or do you kind of take them maybe on? I know CASA, they take them on like outings and things like that from their foster situation. So what are the possibilities for respite care for a foster parent?
SPEAKER 04 :
So respite care, you know, I think it depends on each in each state. I think it's a little bit different, but most of the time it's, you know, two, three days you're certified as a foster parent. So you would have to get the certification, like, you know, the cost of you're not, you have to have like a background check and everything, but you're not certified as a foster parent. So if you're doing respite care, you have to go through the whole process of making sure your home is suitable and everything. And then it would be, I think the time really varies, you know, it could be, Two nights, three nights a week. It's just really that time, like say a foster parent needs a break or is going on vacation or has a family emergency, you know, and they need to go out of town. So someone providing respite care would give them that.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, I think about, you know, business trips. Okay, we have one minute left. Tell me your takeaway. What do you want to tell people that are, like, kind of on the fence? Like, what do you want people to know if you had a one-minute elevator speech to give to us?
SPEAKER 04 :
I think the main thing we want people to know, and this is what we say at Foster Mer, these kids are amazing, and they're resilient, and they have the potential to overcome anything, and they really just need someone... to step up and be there for them. The outcomes for kids in foster care are not great, and that can change if we as a society and as individuals step up and are there for these kids.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I sure appreciate all that you do. My foster care situation was quite interesting because I come from a family where my dad has his PhDs, well-educated, but we had a lot of, he was estranged from our family for like 35 years. And then one of my brothers was murdered. Another one ended up homeless. Wow. Here I graduated top of my class. I worked full time all through high school and college. So for somebody listening, just the opportunity to stay with my foster family and other families that really cared, I think really made a difference in my life and where my first job was at NBC News out of college in Los Angeles. So thank you, Kristen, for all you do for others. Really appreciate you.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much, Angie. I'd love to hear more about your story.
SPEAKER 06 :
I'd love to talk again. Thanks, Kristen.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
In this thought-provoking episode, Angie Austin brings forth conversations that challenge us to rethink the way we view our lives. Jim Stovall shares his insights on breaking free from a mediocre existence and what it means to truly live a fulfilling life. Through poignant anecdotes, including the tale of a man planning a new chapter post-incarceration, listeners are invited to reconsider the power of a single life-altering decision. Moreover, Angie’s conversation with Dr. Scott Adzick explores pioneering work in fetal surgery, offering hope and insights into life-saving medical advancements. As Dr. Adzick talks about training future specialists, the episode also highlights the importance of mentorship and legacy in impactful work. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their passions and make deliberate choices that align with their values and dreams. Whether it's a career change or finding joy in volunteering, this episode serves as a guidepost for navigating towards a life of significance and satisfaction.
SPEAKER 04 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here's Angie.
SPEAKER 03 :
Hello there, friend. Angie Austin, Jim Stovall with The Good News. And today we are talking about your best life. Sounds like the best column. I love this, Jim.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, thank you. It's a phrase we all kind of borrow from Oprah. And she probably got it from somewhere else. But, you know, and the premise is that... we have a choice. We can live our best life. We can live our worst life. And, you know, I'm well aware of the fact that bad things happen to good people. And, you know, it can either be a something that defeats you or a springboard to greater success. And Walt Whitman said, I am not one person. I am many persons. You know, I'm a giant. I'm a dwarf. I'm wealthy. I'm poor. I'm you know, successful, I'm a failure, all these things, because he realized that inside of each of us is the potential to be all of those things. And, you know, we all have those moments, those days, those periods of time that change that. I had a gentleman in my office last week who I met at a fundraiser event I was doing for a Oh, a faith-based group that helps people getting out of prison. Okay. And he had made a horrible series of decisions when he was 15 years old, and it ended up with him killing a guy, and he spent the next 35 years of his life in the penitentiary. So I met him at age 50 when he just got out, and he had been in prison every day since he was 15. And, you know, and it's just amazing. He recounted what happened to him that morning. And he made a couple of dumb decisions and put himself in a bad place. And there you go. I mean, it wasn't some big conspiracy plan or something. It was a momentary thing. And his life is there. So he talked to me about the fact that, okay, that's been your life up to now. But now you're 50. For the next 35 years, you can decide what do you want your life to be. And you have to have a double good life from here on out to make up for that first part. So you've got to come back. You're like a team. You're two touchdowns behind. You've got to make up for this. And he's making plans to do that. And we all have the ability to live a great life or a poor life. Unfortunately, most people... live right in the middle. They live a mediocre existence. And in our country today, Angie, it doesn't take much to be mediocre. You can just kind of drift through life if you want to, and that's where it is. Or you can change your life by changing your mind, and you can live a great life. And it's all about making a decision. And you can have one moment right now today that changes that, just like the guy I told you about, When he was 15 years old, he had one moment he did something really stupid and ruined his life. Well, the contrary is true. We can all have one moment where we make our mind to change. I remember a moment like that for me, and my life will never be the same. I just don't want to live like this anymore. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and that's it. And, you know, many things go back to that. And I just decided that's it. We're not living like this anymore.
SPEAKER 03 :
Was that the loaf of bread?
SPEAKER 05 :
Yes, indeed. Yeah, we miscalculated our groceries as we were going through the grocery store. And Crystal had to go put back a loaf of bread. And it was embarrassing and frustrating. And I just said there is no reason I should ever live like this. I'm just not going to live like this anymore. And that changed my world.
SPEAKER 03 :
And you two, weren't you first and second in your college class when you graduated?
SPEAKER 05 :
We were indeed. We were indeed. But we had gotten way in debt, and I was blind. And at that point, I thought disabilities means you couldn't do stuff.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER 05 :
Everything I knew about being blind, I learned from people that told me what that meant. And it's no different than all of us going through life if we're mediocre. Someone told us this is how you live. And people that live a pinnacle existence, a mountaintop existence, they either had somebody amazing tell them how they could live life, they read a book, or they just got a vision of who they could be, and they just decided, I'm not going to be that way anymore. And I read about once this bald eagle had fallen out of the nest and had been taken in through a set of circumstances. It ends up with a bunch of ducks that have just hatched. And this eagle, you know, was raised by this mama duck and, you know, and took on the character. This eagle thought he was a duck. And he walked like a duck, talked like a duck, you know, even started quacking like a duck. I mean, and took on those characteristics. Oh, my gosh. we have a tendency to become like our environment or the people around us, and we can change that. And any time we don't like it, we can change the channel. Sometimes we act like it's a wired-in broadcast and we're stuck with this. No, you've got 500 channels. You can do anything with your life you want, and you change your life when you change your mind. And that's why every once in a while you need somebody to come along And think, what would your best life look like? I mean, what would you do if you could do anything you wanted to do? Because the reality is that's where we all live.
SPEAKER 03 :
Now, what did you tell this guy? So he made a mistake, killed somebody when he was 15, didn't plan it. And all these years later, he's 50. What did you tell him to do in order to live his best life?
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, I told him, first, we've all got to decide what it is we want. What do we want the end to look like? And he's working on that right now. We're going to have another meeting next month. But I said, then you got to look at what talents, abilities and experiences do you have? And he said, well, I don't have any. I said, that's where you're wrong. There are people going into prison, getting out of prison. There are people who need to make quality decisions to stay out of prison. And you have a unique life. You can speak to those people. And you know what it's like on the inside. You know what it's like out here. And more than anybody I know, you can speak to that issue. And, you know, we talked about him, you know, consulting with people, writing a book, helping young people in high schools. I mean, you know, when you have a guy walk in and say, I'm 50 years old. I mean, you know, I'm as old as your parents and almost your grandparents standing here. And when I was your age that you are right now, I did something really stupid and I ended up this way. And, you know, and maybe you could help a handful of kids from avoiding that. And, uh, that would be a good life. You, you, you would be living your best life when you use the talents and abilities and experiences you've had to help other people. So he and I talked about that and, um, You know, and he's got a job. He's the place that I help raise money for. They help people get jobs, and it's not a great job, but it's a job. And he has an apartment, and it's not a great apartment, but it's a good place to start. And as he pointed out, it's better than a jail cell, and the neighborhood's better. So he's feeling pretty good about it.
SPEAKER 03 :
Whenever I talk to interviewees that I find particularly interesting, I figure out where they got their passion for what they do. And one of the doctors that I've interviewed that is coming up again is Dr. Adzik, and he does fetal surgery. And he told me, I'll never forget, of all the thousands of interviews, I'll never forget, he said, what's the most satisfying thing about your work? Or when have you felt like, wow, I'm really doing something that makes a difference? He goes, well, every year when I go to the big party for the kids that I've done fetal surgery on, so it might be heart surgery while the baby's in the womb that saves its life. He goes, I see him throwing the football and having a great time together, enjoying the party, eating their hot dogs or whatever they're having. And he said, and I think, wow, this is really great work that I do. This is this is really I'm making a difference. This is very satisfying. I thought, wow, what a cool thing, because he's working on cleft palates and club feet, heart surgeries, spina bifida, you know, all these things that we never would have operated on a baby in the womb. Right. It's just so fascinating to me. And so I started talking more recently about like finding your passion. Like you said, what are you interested in? What are your skills like? you know, what are your values, where do you think you could add, whether it's, you know, a job where you're going to get paid, or whether it's going to be volunteer work, because I've been writing all this down myself, trying to figure out, you know, what I'm going to do next, as my kids are, one, another one's leaving this year, you know, Riley just went up to, moved up to campus just recently, because he'd been commuting, and then the next one goes to Tennessee in about six months, and then I'll have one left at home, so really just thinking about, you know, what's next, so I like, you know, how you are kind of setting him on the right path to what he wants to do next after all those years in prison and knowing that he can still make a difference.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, absolutely. We all have the ability to do that. And then sometimes we forget, like you were talking about your doctor. I met a young lady the other day, a young lady, and she's probably in her mid-40s, and I was speaking at a university. And she's the dean of admissions and teaches at the university, and she came up and introduced herself. I said, it's nice to meet you. And she said, you don't know who I am, do you? And I said, well, you just told me who you are. And she said, no, no, no, no. 1988, I'm a college freshman. I ran out of money. I was getting ready to drop out of the university and go back to my job as a waitress. I went to the mailbox there on campus to turn in my key. I had one envelope left there, and it was a letter from you telling me I got a scholarship. And I finished college and got a graduate degree, and now I'm dean of this university. And she said, it all started because you made that envelope happen. And I said, well, thank you, but no, you made all that happen. You did every bit of that. But I said, I will tell you, from time to time, it's a hassle running a scholarship, and you just gave me plenty of motivation for the next 10 years. I'm good to go.
SPEAKER 02 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 03 :
That is, that's, whew. Well, speaking of making an impact, there you did, but I want to tell you one other thing. You know my friend Dr. Cheryl Lynch, she's a professor and just a really neat lady, and she writes books as well, and she wrote me a note the other day, and she said, she I'm reading Jim Stovall's book, The Gift of a Day, 100 Doses of Winner's Wisdom. And this quote from Chapter 7, Crystallize What I Do. Could we do a segment on this sometime? I'd really like to talk about it because Jim has such a way with words. And here's what he said that brought me to tears. And the quote, I'll start with the whole thing, but then I'll highlight what you said that made her cry. Influence can be either good or bad, and it can be overt or subtle. We are all being influenced, and we are all influencing others every day. And here's the part that got her. If we learn something, we change our world. If we teach something, we change another person's world. But if we teach people to teach, we change the whole world. And she said that really encapsulates what she does as a professor, and that made her cry.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, that is good. I think we ought to laugh some every day, cry some every day, have good memories. And, you know, that needs to be a regular part of our day. And it's a good thing. And please tell her I am greatly honored.
SPEAKER 03 :
She's a good one. All right. So in your best life, we've got about a minute left. What's our takeaway here?
SPEAKER 05 :
Examine the life you're living right now. We spend very little time. We spend our lives worrying about stuff that happened in the past we can't do anything about or fretting about stuff in the future that may or may not even happen. And we never take a look at what am I doing right now and is this really what I want to do or did I just kind of end up here? You know, someone told me to get in that line and here I am. And really take it, do it on purpose and, you know, really start living your best life.
SPEAKER 03 :
And I love it. You always say, today's the day. And it says, you and I are much the same, and our best lives await. As you go through your day today, trade your ordinary life for your best life, because today's the day. And that's jimstovall.com, jimstovall.com. Thank you, my friend.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thank you. Be well.
SPEAKER 03 :
You be well. Brighton is tuned to the mighty 670 KLT Denver.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 03 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. Well, I'm really excited about our next interview. Did you know that nearly 150,000 babies every year are born in the U.S. with birth defects, many with conditions so rare that some of the parents and clinicians have never even heard of them? approximately 5,000 fetal surgeries done worldwide to treat these birth defects. A quarter of them had been performed at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Dr. Scott Adzick is a fetal surgeon who specializes in treating these babies' unique needs. And today we're discussing advancements that will save even more lives. And we've had Dr. Adzik on the show before and over 30 years in TV news and radio news. I worked at NBC for many years. I've interviewed thousands of people. And Dr. Adzik is one of my all time favorite interviews, which he doesn't even know this. His work is fascinating and lifesaving. Welcome back, doctor.
SPEAKER 06 :
Geez, thanks for the introduction, Angie. That was awesome.
SPEAKER 03 :
You know, I'm fascinated by people's passion for what they do. And I asked you once, hey, what's satisfying about your work? You know, what gives you great, you know, satisfaction? And you said these kids come back for this like party that you have to celebrate the kids who've been saved, you know, in, you know, you've operated on them before they've even been born and you're like and here they are like teenagers and they're throwing the football and you know I mean not you're humble but they're alive because in some cases you did this surgery on them and you're watching all of these kids playing that really I mean you kind of help save their lives I mean that's so cool that's very cool and you're right and that sort of sounds a little bit like me I don't even need to do the interview I mean you the line look
SPEAKER 06 :
It is true that each year in June, actually this year is on June 1st, Sunday at the Philadelphia Zoo, you're invited. Oh, I'd love to go. I have a fetal family reunion and patients, children and their families come back. And last year we had over 3,000 people there. And that's usually for the most part just folks who are local and regional, not just who are national since the program was started. It was started in 1995. This is 30 years for us. We've had more than 33,000 pregnant women carrying babies with birth defects referred to us from all 50 states and from more than 70 countries. So that is inspiring. There's so many children whose babies likely could have died running around and growing up healthy and strong. Actually, there's nothing better. Nothing better.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, I want to talk a little bit about some of the advancements, because this is so fascinating to me anyway, that you can operate on a baby while it's still in the mom's tummy. I mean, to put it down to the basics of what you do, but I mean, it's so technical and they're so tiny. Talk about some of the birth defects that you can help via this surgery.
SPEAKER 06 :
Okay, well, there's a whole long list. and we've been fortunate to be pioneers in many of them. The two most common, though, I'll touch on are spina bifida and twin-twin transfusions. What's spina bifida? Well, you know, but I'll explain it to your listeners. That's where, in the developing fetus, the tissues around the spinal cord don't develop normally, so the spinal cord and the associated nerves are exposed to the in-utero environment, which is principally amniotic fluid, which in the third trimester is quite neurotoxic, destroy the developing spinal. These children, when they're born, they're likely to eventually be wheelchair-bound, have motor function problems, have hydrocephalus, fluid on the brain, require a ventricular peritoneal shunt to drain the fluid into the abdomen, and so on and so forth. We can now treat this condition in selected cases. Before birth, we've done about 500 of these operations since I think it was the first one in 1998. And the children who have the operation between 23 and 26 weeks gestation, in an operation, it's on average about 70 minutes. The outcomes, this is not a cure completely for spondylobifida. Children that have this before birth are much more likely to walk, have much better motor functions. Much less likely to have hydrocephalus, much less likely to need one of those shunt tubes. That's reporting and we're now doing, obviously, the long-term follow-up. The first case was in 1998. We're now doing the follow-up, which goes back almost 30 years.
SPEAKER 03 :
The condition is about... And I hate to interrupt you, but for people that aren't as familiar with it, I had a girlfriend who was very young when she had her first baby. She's now in her 20s. And they told her that her baby had spina bifida and said, when do you want to schedule the abortion, basically? And she was like, what? You know, she didn't even know what it was. And so she, you know, did some research, et cetera. And this kid is amazing. They have four, five kids. And she's like the light of their lives and helps with the other kids, et cetera. And, you know, she does have some issues with walking, et cetera, wears braces. But, you know, a high functioning mentally, you know, has graduated from high school and did really well. But I mean, that's the option that some people are given and they don't even know about you. So that's another reason I think what you do is so amazing. Like people who would have not kept their baby... we're letting people know that, hey, there's this other option where they can have a much better, possibly, quality of life if they have this fetal surgery. So I just wanted to throw that in there.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, and that's one of the reasons why we're doing the interview now, just for information so that folks can be knowledgeable and aware. The second most common operation we do is an operation for twin-twin transfusion syndromes called fetoscopic laser therapy. Well, what is that? Well, Twin-twin transfusion syndrome, TTTS for short, is identical twins in the uterus, of course, each within their own amniotic sac. As opposed to each of the two twins having their own placenta, which is the disc between the mother and the fetus's umbilical cord, these twins share a placental disc, one placenta. And the setup is that there's an imbalance of circulation such that there are abnormal crossing blood vessels from one side to the other, such that one twin, one identical twin, gets too much blood and develops congestive heart failure, and the other twin doesn't get enough blood and goes into kidney failure, and both twins will go on to die, unless you do fetoscopic laser therapy. So what is that? Well, the mother has sedation, sedation, It's a fetus coat placed through her abdominal wall, like laparoscopy, into the uterus. We visualize that the sona use a laser fiber that will coagulate or occlude those culprit vessels. And in most instances, both twins save.
SPEAKER 03 :
You know, the work you do is so highly specialized. And I was reading about an award you received last year. And in the article I was reading, it said that you trained over 50 other or helped, you know, train 50 other doctors. And it talked about other people. So not only are you doing this groundbreaking surgery, but, you know, in Philadelphia, you're also helping, you know, other younger people learn to do what you do, because obviously there will be a time when you're not doing this anymore. So I think that's pretty a pretty cool privilege as well.
SPEAKER 06 :
I think so, and it's an important part of our mission, of course, to train future professors who now run fetal programs throughout North America, South America, Europe, Far East. That's very gratifying, and it provides greater access for more patients, more unborn patients.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, I could talk to you for another half an hour, but I know that I've got a time limit here, so we've got another minute. Besides giving us the website, what else do you want us to know?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, the future's bright. Talked a little bit about the artificial womb, about in-utero gene editing. There's a lot of other stuff going on. Very, very, very exciting. That's three varies.
SPEAKER 02 :
Would you give us the website so we can get more information, doctor? And I'd love to have you back. You're always welcome on the good news.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thank you. Fetal surgery, one word, that.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, always a pleasure. Dr. Scott Adzik, always a pleasure to have you on fetalsurgery.chop.edu. Thank you so much. A real blessing to have you on the show.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thank you.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, he is amazing. I just, like I said in the intro, I just was so, you know, I've interviewed him before. And when he told me the story about the kids, you know, getting together for that, you know, yearly party to kind of celebrate their lives, seeing those kids toss the football and play and do all those things and just be amazing. living their lives because of this fetal surgery that he has done on them for various issues. Some of the heart issues are obviously life-saving and the spina bifida surgery is life-changing. So, wow, I just think what he does is... I mean, not many people can do what he does. All right. So, and how cool that he's training so many other physicians to, you know, do the kind of work that he does because it's not that common. All right. So I started this last week where I told you, you know, let's find our passions because I love to talk to all these people about how they, you know, got a passion for what they do in my 30 plus years now of interviewing thousands of people. I just love to hear why they chose what they do. And, You know, I've interviewed so many interesting people in, you know, politics or, you know, physicians always fascinate me. Their brains are so wonderful. And, you know, nonprofits, you know, my friend Lloyd Lewis that does work with kids with cognitive deficits. You know, kids are differently abled and, you know, maybe had a hard time getting through school. And, you know, he gives them benefits. jobs and they add so much to the organization. They have such big hearts. I mean, some of the kids that I've met with Down syndrome, his son has Down syndrome, are some of the most loving people I've ever met in my life. It's like they have an extra gene for love, you know, and joy and happiness. So then that became his passion, you know, working with You know, young people, you know, who he employs over 500 now ambassadors. So how do we find our passion? And I've told you repeatedly, I'm looking for my next thing after my kids are raised. So what am I going to do? Am I going to volunteer with pets? You know, so as I mentioned last week, so number one, reflect on your interests, you know, minor animals, kids, older people. um being active hiking you know and then identify your strengths so you know i love ymca the rockies maybe i go up there you know in the summers and i lead hikes i knew a guy who did that and you live up there and you don't really get paid much you just kind of get free room and board and spend the summer but you know ymca the rockies and that's always kind of intrigued me how fun would that be um and then keep you know besides your strengths and you know what you're interested in what do you spend your time on so pay attention to what you do in your free time you know what are you doing in your free time are you exercising are you Are you lifting? Are you spending time with your pets? Are you going for walks with your dogs? Are you volunteering at the local elementary school? Are you helping kids learn how to read? Are you volunteering? Like, you know, volunteering might be a great way too to figure out your next even career path, right? Because you can volunteer in an area of interest. Internships, I think, are great ways to really get your foot in the water. My daughter wants to be an attorney, and I'm like, you should definitely do an internship at a law office and really be with these attorneys and see what they do before you make that kind of a commitment to that kind of education. Explore new things. Try new activities. Meet new people. Connections. Meeting people is so important. Just getting out there, chatting with people. You can even ask for connections on social media. Hey, does anybody know anybody that works with animals? Does anybody know anyone that works in law? And people will connect you with people. It's amazing what they do. I just had a really sweet friend of my daughter's move to Colorado Springs and she was homeschooled and really involved in her church. And I knew a girl that I met at 10, who's now close to 30. And I knew she was really involved in kids ministry, particularly working with young women. And I knew she'd have connections for her. So I just randomly connected them on text. And hopefully they're going to be able to, you know, the older girls can be able to connect the younger girl to some other Christians in her community. So I'm very hopeful for that. And then journaling. I mentioned that last week to write down your thoughts, your feelings, your direction. I think sometimes we get direction when we kind of do prayer and journaling to kind of get an idea of, you know, where we want to go. And writing for me really helps me get those ideas out and put them on paper. And that kind of guides me. But then speaking of guidance, seek out someone, a mentor, a friend. I used to have an accountability partner, which was another newswoman in Los Angeles. She's still the main anchor at Fox in L.A., And we would hold each other accountable every week. We'd go over, you know, what were your goals? Did you follow through on what you wanted to do? Did you do blah, blah, blah? So and then think about your values, you know, what might work for you, you know, in terms of your own values and what's important to you. So, yeah, all of that. And, you know, of course, fears like get rid of those. Just go for it if you want to try something new. All right. This is Angie Austin. Thanks so much for listening to the good news.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
