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Most of our depth in God comes through the pain that we go through. But it is a choice. And you have to be determined when things happen that you don’t understand, to not let it become a wall between you and God.
I’m Joyce Meyer. I’ve seen God’s power transform my own life. And He will do it for you.
Thank you for joining me today on Enjoying Everyday Life. I believe you’re going to really enjoy the program today. I want to talk about, are you building walls or bridges?
Do you have questions about your life? Why was I abused? Why do I look the way I look?
Why wasn’t I born into a family with more money or better social standing? Why, why, why? Why did my loved one die?
What about birth defects? What about children with cancer? Do you know, the whys of life can build a wall between you and God if you’re not wise to Satan’s deception?
God is good, period, end of the conversation. And there is no injustice in God. When I study the character of God or I teach on the character of God, my favorite aspect of God’s character is that he is just.
And what that means is that he always makes wrong things right. In the world, there’s a lot of injustice. Life is not fair.
But God will always make things that are wrong right in your life. If, there’s always that if, isn’t it? If we trust him, keep a good attitude.
We need to be people of integrity. You know, a lot of people today don’t even know what that word means. You could go out and do what they call a man on the street interview, and we’ve done that.
And it’s amazing how many people today don’t even know what that word means. And integrity just means you’re honest. You do what you say you’re going to do.
How hard is it to find people today that actually do what they say they’re going to do? God is good. There’s no injustice in him.
He’s perfect. But we do live in an imperfect world, with imperfect people, in a world where the sin principle has been at work for generations and generations and generations. Satan is at work.
For many, tragedy becomes a bridge to God. It’s kind of interesting. It seems like unbelievers, many times when they have a tragedy, it will drive them to God.
But believers, it seems like many times when they have a tragedy, it separates them from God. Which is kind of an interesting thought, you know. I guess believers think that everything should turn out good for them because they’re believers.
But that’s not always the case. We go through things that are unfair. Things happen that we don’t understand.
But we need to be careful about what I call why God, why. Now, you can ask God all the questions you want to, but generally you’re not going to get the answer that you want. And probably to tell you the truth, a lot of times when we ask God why, we’d really rather He not tell us.
Because we might not like it if He did. And this is my personal opinion. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to ask God why.
But I think instead of hearing why God, He’d much rather hear, I trust you, Lord. And we’ll say that again. Instead of hearing why God, I think He’d much rather hear, I trust you.
There’s a pastor that I know in El Paso, Texas, whose beautiful little wife died of cancer. And of course, him and all the church were praying for her. And she died.
And he said the first thing he said to God was, I’ll never ask you why. And I don’t know about you, but to me, that’s, that’s proving that your faith is deeply rooted in God. I mean, when you really get right down to it, but God does not have to explain himself to us.
He wants to hear, I trust you. I don’t understand it. It hurts.
It seems unfair, but I know you’re good. I know the devil’s bad. But I trust you to take this and work it out for my good.
I lean on that scripture so much because I believe that with all my heart. I’ve seen that in my life, the sexual abuse that I went through from my dad and my mom knowing it, but not doing anything about it. Mary, the first guy that came along when I was 18, that was five more years of injustice and him cheating on me.
And, you know, uncles that tried to abuse me, a grandfather that tried to abuse me, a boss that I worked for that tried to abuse me. And, you know, I really got to the point where I thought, I will never, ever trust a man, ever. Well, I had to get over that.
What we do when we’ve been hurt many times is we feel like we’re owed something. And really, the truth is, you are. But we always try to collect from people that can’t pay us.
See, for a long time, I tried to collect from Dave for what my dad did to me. You say, well, what do you mean by that? Well, I wanted him to make me feel good about myself.
I wanted him to give me security and make all those feelings, those bad feelings I had go away. But there’s a scripture in Matthew 18, where the man was trying to collect a debt. And I love what the Bible says.
It says, and he could not pay. And you know how God is with the scriptures. Sometimes it just jumps off the page at you and comes alive.
And I was reading that one day, and that he could not pay. It was just like, and I realized my dad couldn’t pay me back for what he took away from me. How could he give me back my innocence?
He stole my childhood. He couldn’t give that back to me. Dave couldn’t give it back to me.
There’s only one person that could give it back to me, and that was God. And that’s why it’s foolish to try to collect from people, even the people who hurt you. That’s why it’s silly to say, I’m going to think I’m going to get you back.
Well, no, you really won’t. You’ll just hurt yourself more and more and more. And I know I harp on this thing about forgiveness a lot, but I don’t really intend to shut up because there are so many, there’s so many angry Christians.
It is probably the single biggest problem that we have in the church. Satan gains more ground in the life of believers to unforgiveness than to any other thing. And we say, but it’s so hard.
Well, yes and no, you know. I mean, Jesus forgave us. On the cross, he said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
You say, yeah, but that was Jesus. Well, Stephen said the same thing, and he wasn’t Jesus. He said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
You know, my dad knew that what he was doing was wrong, but I honestly don’t think that he understood how bad it was going to hurt me. And he actually, when he got around to apologizing to me, which was not until he was 80, he told me that he said, I had no idea that what I was doing to you would hurt you that bad. There was no talk about sexual abuse then.
There were no television programs where people were sharing what people had done to them. And he came from that background himself. And so what good was it going to do me to hate him?
A statement that God gave me that has helped me over the years is hurting people hurt people. And if you can believe that when somebody hurts you, that they hurt you because they’re hurting. And that doesn’t excuse it.
That doesn’t excuse what my father did. He was responsible. He knew it was wrong.
But I do think a lot of times when people hurt us, they don’t really realize how bad they’re hurting us or how deep those wounds may go. And so it’s useless to spend your life, or I should say waste your life, trying to collect from somebody who really can’t pay you back. You know, how could he give me my childhood back?
He couldn’t, he couldn’t do that. Trust requires unanswered questions.
See, if you’re gonna trust God, you have to not know something, not understand something, but trust him anyway. So you’re always gonna have some unanswered questions, and my advice to you is stop trying to figure so many things out. I was a person, I say, that was addicted to reasoning.
Well, how can you be addicted to reasoning? Well, when I was having a problem, I could not settle down until I thought I had it figured out. Which was interesting because you can think you have something figured out and still not know what you’re doing.
We used to have these, I don’t think they have them now, maybe they do, these little mail slots for each person that worked here.
And every once in a while, I’d send somebody a message and they wouldn’t respond. And I would say, well, why didn’t you respond? They’d say, well, I didn’t get it.
And I would find out that I put it in the wrong slot. And that’s why God told me, he said, you think you’ve got so many things figured out, but you got a lot of stuff in the wrong slot.
And only God really knows, and we need to trust him, that if we need to know, if you need to know, he will tell you. And someday you will know. The Bible says that when we get to heaven, we will know then even as we are known.
So you will know at some point, but it may not be when you want to know. So even now, I look back at my life, and there’s so many things that I understand now that I didn’t understand then. And I heard the statement, I love it, we live life forward, but we understand it backwards.
How many of you can look back at some of the things that happened in your life, and maybe even something you thought was so terrible, and now you realize it was the very thing that brought you closer to God?
Most of our depth in God comes through the pain that we go through. But it is a choice. And you have to be determined when things happen that you don’t understand to not let it become a wall between you and God, but let it become a bridge that leads you to Him.
And especially people that don’t have a personal relationship with Christ. If you’ve had a tragedy in your life, don’t get into that, well, I don’t believe there’s a God. If there was really a God, then this wouldn’t have happened.
If God is good, then this wouldn’t have happened. God never promised us a trouble-free life. He just promised to always be with us in everything.
And I don’t know where we ever got the idea that we should be the special group that never has any problems. All through the Bible, people had problems. Couple of days ago, we talked about Joseph.
Look at all the unfair things that happened to him. And yet, he trusted God, and God gave him favor. And everywhere he went, he was promoted.
It’s the same thing with the life of Daniel. If you read about him, I think he outlasted about five kings. He was thrown into the lion’s den, and his friends were thrown into the fiery furnace.
But they always trusted God. And I love what it says about his friends, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They said, we will not bow down to you.
And if God can deliver us from this, he will. And he didn’t mean that he wasn’t able, but if it was his will to deliver them, he would. And if not, we’re still not bowing down to you.
See, that’s the attitude we need to have. Even if I have to suffer to do the right thing, I’m not going to bow down to you. You remember when Jesus was being tempted in the wilderness, the devil said, if you’ll bow down to me just once.
Just once. But see, the devil will tell you, well, it’s just once. I mean, that can’t hurt anything, just once.
That just once lie, boy, you got to watch out for that. He said, if you will bow down to me just once, I’ll give you all these kingdoms and their preeminence and their glory. And I realized something recently by looking at that scripture.
You know, the devil can bless you.
So see, we can’t, we can’t always assume, well, this person must be doing what’s right because look at how blessed they are. You know, there’s all kinds of ungodly people in the world that are blessed a lot more. Than people that are godly and that makes us mad.
We don’t understand that. But I don’t care how much money you have or how many things you have. You have nothing if you don’t have righteousness, peace and joy.
In the Holy Ghost. Romans 14 17 says, the kingdom of God is not meat and drink. It’s not stuff.
It’s knowing who you are in Christ. Peace and joy. Those are the most valuable things to have.
So don’t bow down to the devil in any way, shape or form because you think it’s going to get you something. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego went into the fiery furnace and they turned it up seven times hotter than it normally was. But I love the end of the story.
Don’t you like the end of the stories? And when they came out, it says they didn’t even smell like smoke. I love that.
I went through a lot in my life, but I don’t even smell like smoke. In other words, who would think from looking at my life now, the things that I went through? But that’s what makes it even all the better, that I went through all that stuff and God turned it all around for good and is using it to bless a lot of people.
Proverbs 20, 24, man’s steps are ordered by the Lord. How then can a man understand his way? Why do we even try to figure out our way?
You know, when I was so addicted to reasoning, I just could not settle down until I thought I had things figured out. And God had to work with me a long time to get me to give that up, because all it does is torment you. Exodus 13 and 17 says, When Pharaoh let the people go, God led them not by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was nearer.
For God said, Lest the people change their purpose when they see war and return to Egypt. So, he led them the long hard way, because they really were not ready for the promised land yet. Now, maybe you have a promise from God, something that he’s told you, that he’s going to do for you.
And don’t get mad at me when I tell you this, but maybe you’re just not ready for it yet. You didn’t like that much, did you? See, we always think we’re ready.
But when we are ready, it will come to pass.
You just say, God, I trust your ways and I trust your timing. My times are in the hands of the Lord. But boy, we don’t like that weighting stuff.
We want it now. You know, when we don’t like things about ourself, by whose standard are we measuring ourself? Who says how tall is too tall or how short is too short?
You know, God has a plan for your life, and he farmed you in your mother’s womb carefully and intricately with his own hand. Those are some of the adjectives used in the Amplified Bible. Carefully and intricately.
You are not a mistake. You’re not put together wrong. God has a purpose for everything he does, and the worst thing that you can do is not like yourself.
isaiah 45, 9, Woe to him who strives with his maker, a worthless piece of broken pottery, among other pieces equally worthless, and yet presuming to strive with his maker, shall the clay say to him who fashioned it, What do you think you’re making? Or your work has no handles? And Romans 9, 20 and 21 says, But who are you, a mere man, to criticize and contradict and answer back to God?
Well what does farm say to him that farmed it? Why have you made me this way? Has the potter no right over the clay to make out of the same mass lump one vessel for beauty and distinction, and honorable use, and another for menial or ignoble or dishonorable use?
I mean, so what if one person’s a CEO of the company I mean, another is a janitor. Why should we crab and complain? All we’re responsible for is to do the part that God gives us.
And to do it with a good attitude and a thankful attitude. Because you know what? And I think we don’t think about this enough.
The amount of time that we’re here is so short, compared to eternity. And we really need to be more eternity minded. We really need to think more about that.
I’m going to live forever and ever and ever and ever. And so really when you get right down to it, why should we care so much what happens to us in these 70 or 80 or 90 or even if you live to be 100, which very few people do? It’s nothing compared to eternity.
And I always say we need to spend here getting ready for there. Not acting like here is all there is. And you know, nobody likes to hurt.
We don’t want to hurt. We don’t want to have pain. We don’t want to have losses in our life.
But is it really going to make us feel any better if we know why?
Romans 11, 33 and 34 says, Oh, the depth of the riches and the wisdom and the knowledge of God, how unfathomable, inscrutable, unsearchable are his judgments, his decisions, and how untraceable, mysterious, undiscoverable are his ways, his methods and his paths are past finding out. We need to believe with all of our heart that God is a God of justice, Jeremiah 9.24 says, I am the Lord who practices loving kindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, says the Lord. And in Zephaniah 3.5 it says, the Lord in the midst of her is uncompromisingly righteous, he will not do iniquity, every morning he brings his justice to light, he fails not, but the unjust person knows no shame.
Men fail, but God never fails. Now, blaming God for anything that you think is bad in your life is the absolute worst thing that you can do. Don’t ever blame God.
Always say, God, I know you’re good, I don’t know why this happened, it hurts, it feels unfair, but you are good. You know, in talking to God about the abuse in my childhood, he did give me a partial answer. You know, parents have authority over a child until they become of age and can make their own decisions.
So many times, the things that happen to us in our life that are painful, they are the result of somebody else’s bad choice that you got in the way of. And see, we forget sometimes that free choice carries with it a lot of responsibility. And so my parents made choices that not only hurt them, but hurt me.
However, and this is the big thing, when I became of age and got away from their authority, I was free to start making my own choices. And listen, every good choice you make overrides one of the bad choices that somebody else made that hurt you. Can I say that again?
Every good choice that you make overrides one of the bad choices that either you made or somebody else made that hurt you. So no more blaming God. Build bridges, not walls.
God is good, and we don’t have to know why.
Amen.
So sometimes what we think will bring us happiness still doesn’t do it for us. We try everything. Look out for number one.
But life still feels empty.
Well, you know, we typically look at our circumstances and try to change them in order for me to be happy. I know this because I thought this way for years. I was always on my mind.
I would constantly think, what about me? What about me? I had no idea that the root of my unhappiness was something I could actually change.
I was getting in my own way and missing the blessings that God has for me. You see, selfishness steals our joy. But God has such a better way for us to live.
I firmly believe that people need to realize that there is great power in an unselfish life. That’s why I’ve written, What About Me? Inside, I share why it’s important to get out of that me mindset and how to change your perspective in a way that will benefit you and others.
Request What About Me today and take important steps to living an unselfish life. It is available to you right now for your gift of any amount. Call us today at 1-800-727-9673 or visit us online at joycemeyer.org.
I have absolutely no doubt that what I share in this book will change your life, just like it completely changed mine. You can get out of your own way, walk in love, and live unselfishly.
Request your copy of What About Me today. And if you would like to go even deeper with Joyce by declaring war on selfishness, consider giving a gift of $45 or more, and you’ll receive Joyce’s What About Me Study Guide in addition to the book. This in-depth study is a great addition alongside the book to ensure you master content with confidence.
And remember, you’ll not only receive Joyce’s book, What About Me, but your gift today allows us to share the love of Christ around the world through our hand of hope outreaches. What About Me is available to you now for your gift of any amount, or go the extra step to receive the What About Me Study Guide too for $45 or more. It is a great opportunity for a book study with family or friends, and it’s yours today.
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If enough of us become unselfish followers of Jesus, we can change the world.
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