In a world filled with complexities and choices, this episode takes a deep dive into the Book of Proverbs, revealing Solomon’s poignant advice for young men and women facing modern temptations. Discover how family expectations and biblical wisdom can be the most compelling deterrent against destructive behavior. Listen in as we share personal anecdotes and insights on bolstering one’s character with, ultimately, the riches of wisdom over material wealth.
The CEM Network is pleased to present Ronald L. Dart and Born to Win.
SPEAKER 03 :
Of all the ways that a man can mess up his life, sex has to be one of the easiest, or at least one of the most likely ways that he’s going to do it. And it’s even more so for a woman. I don’t know that a woman is more likely to mess up her life that way. It’s just that the consequences for women seem more likely and more dangerous and more permanent. I suppose that’s why Solomon gives so much attention to sex in the opening chapters of the book of Proverbs. It’s worded the way it is because it is a father speaking to his son. I wouldn’t want someone reading through this to think that God was picking on women or that he thought women were worse than men. It’s just that this is all set in the words of the king, King Solomon, who has a son, and he’s explaining to his son the dangers that are out there. A mother speaking to her daughter can reverse the genders in the book of Proverbs, and it will work just as well. I can remember my own dad’s efforts to caution me about the facts of life once when I was about 14 and again before my first date. He was embarrassed and flustered and rather inept about the whole thing. I suspect he might have been more urgent if he had been living in a more dangerous time and place. If AIDS and other STDs had been a really great danger. But he made the common mistake of warning me about the dangers instead of impressing upon my mind the morality of the situation and the facts of love, not just the facts of life, of the importance of love in a relationship and the risks of destroying love and of destroying the possibility of love and the strength of love by moments of carelessness. Actually, like a lot of fathers, he might not have talked to me at all if my mother hadn’t been after him to do it. I don’t know that. I’m just guessing because I know my dad and I know my mom. Looking back, though, it was a special moment to me, and I think it probably did influence my behavior in some ways. But all parents should know that sex is far too powerful an urge to be managed in a teenager with a couple of talks and a few platitudes and some warning about sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy. Solomon’s advice to his son was really pretty pointed. You’ll find some of it in Proverbs 6 and verse 20. My son, keep your father’s commandment and don’t forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart and tie them around your neck. These are poetic metaphors which suggest the idea that what we’ve got to do is whenever we start learning our father’s commandments and the law of our mother’s, that we have to bind them continually on our heart. In other words, there needs to be a repetition, a continuation. They need to be tied around our neck. We need reminders constantly so it doesn’t get away from us. You know, among all the young people I’ve talked with about this over the years in counseling sessions in college and elsewhere, that it’s my impression that the expectations of family and parents have been by far and away the most effective deterrent to destructive behavior in kids. That they will actually say, well, and I don’t want to disappoint my father, and I don’t want to disappoint my mother, and I’ve got to hold up the family. And if I do this, I will let down the family. The respect for family values and family expectations and the unwillingness to disappoint father and disappoint mother. All this has kept a lot of young people from doing some very stupid things. And this doesn’t happen as a result of a talk you get before you go out on a date. It comes as a result of a way of life in the family, a continual, ongoing instruction and holding up of values by mother, by father, and by the entire family. Solomon said, when you go, it will lead you. When you sleep, these values will keep you. And when you awake, they will talk with you. In other words, it’s the kind of thing that needs to be implanted so deeply in your mind that when you go to bed, you think about it. And when you wake up in the morning, you think about it. And these things are on your mind as guides to life. It’s a pervasive thing. It’s the pervasive character of family standards and the commandments of the father and the law of the mother that are in your character that will hold you off. Family standards don’t hang in midair. Solomon is assuming standards based on the Bible. He goes on to say in verse 23, “…for the commandment is a lamp and the law is a light.” And reproofs of instruction are the way of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Now remember, we’re talking about a continual instruction in values and what’s right and what’s wrong. And remember, this is a father speaking to a son. If you happen to be a mother who has to sit down and talk to her daughter about these things, just reverse the genders and warn your daughter about the handsome silver-tongued devil who will get them pregnant or worse and then walk off and leave them alone. These commandments, this law, the law of your father, the traditions of your family, and those expectations are to keep you from the flattery and the tongue of the strange man or the strange woman. To his son Solomon said, Don’t lust after her beauty in your heart, and don’t let her take you with her eyelids when she bats her eyes and you go following her anywhere she wants to take you. For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Now the message here is clear. The consequences of this way of life cannot be avoided. Not with condoms, not with trying to hide your behavior and not let people know. You know, one of the worst things we can do is to give condoms to children because in doing it, we imply that they can engage in dangerous behavior if they will just use protection. Do you know what they call people who use condoms for birth control? Parents. Among all women who use condoms, they fail to prevent pregnancy 15% of the time. That means that one time out of six that they are used, they fail to stop the sperm from reaching the egg. For some reason, the failure rate among single women is much higher than that. By an odd coincidence, though, it’s just like playing Russian roulette. You’ve got a six-shooter and babies for bullets. One time out of six, you’re going to get in trouble. The failure rate for the prevention of viral-based diseases is higher than that because those viruses can pass through smaller pores in a latex condom than can sperm. Studies at the University of Texas concluded that condoms are only 69% effective in preventing the passage of the HIV virus. This is really like getting to play Russian roulette because HIV means you die. And it’s like playing Russian roulette with two bullets in a six-shooter instead of one. The only difference is it may take five or ten years to kill you instead of killing you outright. A lot of people are lucky. They get away with it the first time. Some are very lucky. They get away with it several times. But no one is lucky enough to challenge the odds again and again. Sooner or later it’s going to get you. And that’s why Solomon uses the analogy of fire in the bosom. You can’t protect yourself from the fire with a condom. And that’s why Solomon says, so is he that goes into his neighbor’s wife. Whoever touches her shall not be innocent. Men don’t despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his soul when he’s hungry. Even though if he’s found, he’ll have to restore sevenfold up to the substance of his entire house. But whoever commits adultery with a woman… It lacks understanding. He’s stupid. He that does it destroys his own life. Notice, a man that steals bread because he’s hungry, we don’t despise it. We kind of understand it, even though we may make him pay for it. But the man that commits adultery destroys his life. A wound and dishonor shall he get, and his reproach will never be wiped away. For jealousy is the rage of a man, and he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He’s not going to regard any ransom. He’s not going to rest content, no matter how many gifts you give him. Adultery, according to Solomon, is destructive behavior, even if God does nothing. It doesn’t matter that God forgives you. You’ve still got to watch out for that jealous husband. There are more ways to get hurt than you can count. And a condom will not stop a bullet, and it won’t stop a lawsuit. But, you know, mere warnings of consequences are not enough to deter a young man or a young woman when their hormones are raging. A young person needs to be taught every day the basics of morality and wisdom. It’s got to be internalized. They need to be connected to a loving family so they understand what love is and how destructive to love. is casual sex. Solomon will explain more after these words.
SPEAKER 02 :
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SPEAKER 03 :
It’s almost funny the way Solomon keeps coming back to the subject of sex and the problem of the strange woman with his boy in this introductory section of Proverbs. But again, if you think about young men and the temptations in the way of young men, and young women for that matter, you can kind of understand why he will approach this from several different angles. And he will rub it in. as many times as he can to his son. In the seventh chapter, verse 1, he says, My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with you. Keep my commandments and live, and my law as the apple of your eye. Tie them on your fingers. Write them on the table of your heart. In other words, memorize them. Say to wisdom, you are my sister, and call understanding your kinswoman. It’s all very poetic, but what he’s talking about, let’s find all the ways we can to to write wisdom and knowledge and character and understanding into this boy to keep him out of trouble. This talks about the development of character, not merely the giving of repeated warnings about STDs and AIDS. Say to the wisdom, you are my sister, and call understanding your kinswoman, that they may keep you from the strange woman. from the stranger that flatters with her words. For at the window of my house I looked out through the casement, and I beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding. Ah yes, I know this young man well. It’s a picture of all of us as we come of age, a bunch of young dolts who don’t know enough sometimes to come in and out of the rain, who don’t have enough wisdom to stay out of trouble by the pranks we got into on Halloween Eve and turning over toilets and painting people’s cars and soaping up people’s windows. Oh, yeah, the young man. The natural state of a young man is stupidity, a void of understanding. If we had any wisdom before puberty, it flies over the horizon when the hormones start to flow. Well, so Solomon continues to explain about this young dolt that he saw walking along the street. He said, I saw him passing through the street near her corner, and he went the road that went by her house in the twilight in the evening, in the black and dark night. And behold, there met him a woman with the attire of a harlot and subtle of heart. Aha, she was all dressed up fit to kill, which may be more meaningful expression than many of us might think. All dressed up and very subtle of heart. It says she is loud and stubborn and her feet won’t stay in the house. Now she is without. Now she’s in the streets and she lies in wait at every corner. Actually, this isn’t the ordinary streetwalker or hooker. This is an adulteress. It’s a woman who’s got a husband who won’t stay home. But she found this young fellow, and she caught him. That’s an interesting expression. She grabbed him and kissed him, and with an impudent face said to him, Well, I have some stakes in the house, and I have paid my vows this day, which ceremonially meant she was clean now from her monthly period. And therefore I came out to find you, diligently to seek your face, and I have found you. You’re the one. You’re the one I was looking for. You’re the one that’s important. Oh, sure. He had really the exact qualifications he was looking for. He was male. I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, she said, and carved works. With fine linen of Egypt, I have perfumed my bed with myrrh and aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s take our fill of love till the morning. Let’s solace ourselves with loves, for the good man is not at home. He’s gone on a long journey and has taken a lot of money, and he’ll come home way down the line. With her much fairer speech… she caused him to yield. And with a flattering of her lips, she forced him. You know, it’s funny. Solomon almost speaks of this as a kind of rape. Oh, I know it’s silly to speak of a woman raping a young man and all of his strength and vigor of youth. But to tell the truth, a young dolt A stupid young man who hasn’t got the training, who hasn’t been brought up right, who hasn’t tied the commandments of his father around his neck and written his mother’s law in his heart is helpless in the face of an assault like this. Oh, yeah, he can make the right choices. It’s within his grasp to do so. But not many of them will. That’s why in our society it’s statutory rape for an older woman to take advantage of a young man. You know, this is really one of the great pieces of literature. It’s a marvelous picture of the seduction of a young man. And the idiot might think that a condom would protect him from a woman like this. He needs a dad to tell him, son, a raincoat is not enough with a woman like that. He goes after her straightway like an ox goes to the slaughter, or like a fool to the correction of stocks, till a dart strikes through his liver like a bird hastes to the snare and doesn’t know… that that snare is going to take away his life. The young fool doesn’t realize that the stake he is playing for is his life. I think a lot of young people think that the only reason this behavior is wrong is because God says it’s wrong. And God, well, he just doesn’t want us to have any fun. And God, well, he really doesn’t want to hurt me. He’ll forgive me. I can do this, and it will be no big deal. And what they don’t know is that it’s not God who will hurt them. They don’t know that the only reason God tells them not to do this type of thing is because it will naturally hurt them. The actions have consequences. And take this in mind, folks. Get a hold of this and fear that even if God forgives you completely, the consequences may not go away. And so Solomon continues to speak. Hearken to me now, therefore, you children. Listen to the words of my mouth. Don’t let your heart incline to this woman’s way. Don’t go astray in her paths, for she has cast down many wounded. Yea, many strong men have been killed by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. And every mother should sit down carefully with this and rewrite it for her daughter. Because it is just as true for the strong young women who have died because of listening to some silver-tongued devil that went out in the streets looking for them. Think about this, mothers. Think about this, dads. We’ll be back after these words.
SPEAKER 02 :
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SPEAKER 03 :
Once again in chapter 8, Solomon returns to the theme of wisdom. And once again, he personifies wisdom as though wisdom were a woman who reaches out to us. And in fact, the contrast between wisdom and folly is illustrated by the whorish woman on the one hand and sweet wisdom on the other. Does not wisdom cry, Solomon said, and doesn’t understanding put forth her voice? She stands in the top of the high places by the way in the places of the paths. She cries at the gates, at the entry of the city, at the coming in at the doors. Everywhere you turn, you open a door and walk in, wisdom is there. You pass by a street corner and wisdom is there. Wisdom is just as accessible as the street walker. It’s all a matter of the choices that we make. Unto you, wisdom says, O men I call, and my voice is to the sons of men. O you simple, understand wisdom, and you fools, be of an understanding heart. You know, foolishness is not genetic. These people, you see, who seem to be fools weren’t born that way. Just because you start out stupid, too, doesn’t mean you have to stay that way. You have a choice. And the book of Proverbs is just filled with instances of law and principle, instruction and wisdom that can help you make choices that are the choices of the wise instead of the choices of the stupid. Here, says wisdom, I will speak of excellent things, and the opening of my lips shall be right things. My mouth shall speak truth. Wickedness is an abomination to my lips. All the words of my mouth are in righteousness, and there is nothing twisted or perverse in them. They are all plain to him that understands, and right to them that find knowledge. Now listen, this is important to understand. Wisdom is not esoteric. It’s not hidden off somewhere. It’s not in the hidden wisdom of the East. You don’t have to climb up a mountain and find a guru somewhere to get wisdom. Wisdom is plain. It is right. It is straightforward. It is clear. And it’s everywhere. It’s not hidden. It all depends on whether you’ve got any kind of standards to make the choices you make. And we do. We have the law of God. Receive my instruction, wisdom says. Forget about silver. Get knowledge rather than choice gold. For wisdom is better than rubies. And all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it. Now, you know, this is probably hard to accept. But the truth is that wealth, without the wisdom to go with it, is destructive. On the other hand, wisdom leads naturally to whatever wealth is good for us. I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find out the knowledge of witty inventions. The fear of the Lord is to hate evil and pride and arrogancy in the evil way. The perverse mouth, these things I hate. Mind you, it’s wisdom speaking. She hates these things. That means that these attitudes are the enemy of wisdom. And wisdom will not dwell in the man who thinks this way. What way? Well, of evil and pride and arrogance, the evil way and the twisted and perverted mouth. You won’t find wisdom in these men. Such men are not wise, they are fools, and sooner or later that will become apparent to the whole world. Wisdom then says, counsel is mine. Sound wisdom is mine. I am understanding. I have strength. By me, kings reign, and princes decree justice. By me, princes rule, and nobles, even all the judges of the earth. Man, do you realize what that’s saying? That’s saying that wisdom lies at the heart of all of the seats of power. Oh, to be sure, evil will oftentimes be there as well. But the real power, the ones who will ultimately succeed, the great leaders, all rule by wisdom. And wisdom says, I love them that love me, and those that seek me early shall find me. You know, you do have to want it. Wisdom says, I love them that love me. Do you love wisdom? Is it something you want? Is it something that when you get up in the morning, you think, I need to go look for some wisdom for the day, because this is where it comes from. It’s not hard to find, but you do have to look. Riches and honor are with me, yea, durable, lasting riches, along with righteousness. My fruit’s better than gold. It’s better than fine gold. My revenue is better than silver. Now, why do you think this is? Well, because, as wisdom says, my way and my way of doing things will actually lead to riches and honor and righteousness, so that you have the knowledge and the ability to use those good things, and they won’t destroy you. Huh, so you want to be rich? Wisdom has just told you the way. It is by acquiring wisdom. Not knowledge. but knowledge coupled with values, knowledge coupled with a sense of right and wrong. For knowledge without an idea of what is right and what is wrong is only going to get you and all the people around you in a lot of trouble. Just how great is wisdom, after all? Well, in verse 22, Solomon continues to talk about wisdom. Actually, wisdom speaks personified and says, The Lord possessed me in the beginning of His way before His works of old. I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning before the earth was. In other words, before God ever turned a finger to create anything physical, wisdom was with Him. Knowledge… the idea of right and wrong, the set of values that would carry on throughout all eternity. Wisdom was with God from the beginning before it started. When there were no depths, I was brought forth. When there were no fountains abounding with water, before the mountains were settled and before the hills was I brought forth. Wisdom was first. After that came the rest. Wisdom did not come from the creation. It came before the creation. God possessed wisdom, and that wisdom led to what we see. While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world, when he prepared the heavens, I was there. When he set a compass upon the face of the deep, when he established the clouds above, when he strengthened the fountains of the deep. when he gave the sea his decree that the waters will stay in this area and go nowhere else, when he appointed the foundations of the earth, I was with him like one brought up with him. I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him, rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth, and my delights were with the sons of men. What a charming piece of poetry, as it presents wisdom frolicking before God. God enjoying wisdom, wisdom enjoying God, and the two of them together actually laying the foundations of the earth. Now listen to me, you children, for blessed are they that keep my ways. Get instruction, be wise, and don’t refuse it. Blessed is the man that hears me and watches daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors. This is a man who opens his Bible, reads his Bible, thinks about what he reads, and tries to grasp all the wisdom that is out there before him. For wisdom says, whoever finds me finds life. and shall obtain favor of the Lord. But he that sins against me wrongs his own soul, and they that hate me love death.
SPEAKER 02 :
Until next time, this is Ronald Dart and wisdom is for winners. The Born to Win radio program with Ronald L. Dart is sponsored by Christian Educational Ministries and made possible by donations from listeners like you. If you can help, please send your donation to Born to Win, Post Office Box 560, White House, Texas 75791. You may call us at 1-888-BIBLE44 and visit us online at borntowin.net.
SPEAKER 01 :
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