Menu
Angie and Cheryl also address the topic of failing forward, highlighting how failure can be a stepping stone to happiness and success. Through personal anecdotes and detailed discussion, they illustrate how rejection and setbacks can lead to unexpected opportunities and life-defining moments. In the later part of the episode, Angie shifts focus to the importance of financial literacy for children, featuring insights from a financial expert. Join this thought-provoking conversation to gain valuable life lessons on resilience, perspective, and financial empowerment.
SPEAKER 01 :
Welcome to the good news with Angie Austin. Now with the good news, here's Angie.
SPEAKER 04 :
Hello there, it's Angie Austin and Doctor Cheryl Lentz, the academic entrepreneur with the good news. Hey Cheryl.
SPEAKER 05 :
Hey hey hey happy New Year everybody.
SPEAKER 04 :
Hey, I've got a couple, we've got a couple of things to talk about today. You actually want to talk about one of my favorite people, my mentor, Jim Stovall, and one of his books that really connected with you. And then I have a topic that will also connect with you. It's three ways we failed our way to happiness. But the interesting thing is the first subject deals with this particular author being rejected from seven universities. So being rejected from what they thought they wanted
SPEAKER 05 :
then getting something probably that worked out even better so I know that your career path changed drastically so we'll handle that next but let's start with Jim what's the book that you want to talk about today and what touched your heart so much okay the book is called the gift of a day a hundred doses of winners wisdom I'm on chapter 84 but what I'm going to share with you is chapter 7 he almost brought me to tears as many of his books do and the reason is because what I'm about to read you that was from chapter 7 which describes exactly why I do what I do. And here's what he said.
SPEAKER 04 :
And tell people what you do first. Tell people what you do.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a college professor. I've been teaching actually 25 years, both undergrad, masters, and doc students. It was 25 years, January 1st.
SPEAKER 04 :
Okay, perfect.
SPEAKER 05 :
So here's what he says. If we learn something, we change our world. If we teach something, we change another person's world. But if we teach people to teach, we change the whole world.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, read it again. That's good.
SPEAKER 05 :
If we learn something, we change our world. If we teach something, we change another person's world. But if we teach people to teach, we change the whole world.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, you love that. You wrote to me right away.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh my gosh, I think it's amazing because it's kind of one of those, you teach a man to fish, you teach a man to fish, you feed him for today. You teach a man to fish or you give a man to fish, you feed him for today. If you teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Same concept.
SPEAKER 04 :
know i uh i was just talking to him about his winners wisdom columns because we you know we actually discuss them every week and sometimes i have them on more than once a week and i'm never bored by that man like he always he's just so wise to me so i can see why he's a good author who has written now 60 some odd books but anyway i think it was 40 when i first started interviewing him and then 50 now over 60 and working on his ninth movie and those movies take a long time by the way
SPEAKER 05 :
I mean, they really... Well, I think what catches me is his vulnerability because somewhere about halfway through the book, I don't know if it was 60 or 70 or something, these are just little vignettes, right? That he kind of apologizes for going dark because he had lost his mom. And this is where some of these gifts came from. And he... I thought it was just so strange because Jim knows the gift of vulnerability and yet here he was apologizing to us as his readers thinking, you know... there's a point at which even I know that I can't quite go there. And he goes, it took him a while before he could write about it and write about mom. And you could tell how dark he went and then how it is lightened up in his future, you know, after, after she passed. But I thought that was incredibly humble for him to recognize that there is a point that until we can deal with our own grief, that there's a line, we just have to take a step back until we're ready, you know?
SPEAKER 04 :
You know, since then, he's also lost his dad now. His dad had some time, you know, where they would have dinner with him every Sunday alone. And he lost him too. But they, you know, they had very long lives. And he had such a great upbringing with grandparents who were really wonderful and wise and parents who were wonderful and wise. And when he found out he was losing his sight, I believe it was as a teenager and then, you know, completely gone in his 20s. just such a support network around him.
SPEAKER 05 :
Do you remember what his mom said? And I will remember this. This was also in this book of what his mom told him. Okay, go ahead. It was very specific to his mom when he was losing his sight is to, Take a moment to capture all the things that you can see today to remember how it makes you feel so you'll remember later or something to that effect. And I sat there, wow.
SPEAKER 04 :
And his grandmother told him, well, here's what we're going to do. I want to see my spring flowers. I want to go through one more spring season. I've seen my flowers and I've decided that I'm going to donate my eyes to you. Like she actually thought she could give Jim her sight and give it, but she just wanted to see her spring flowers bloom again. And then she was ready. And he explained to his grandma, you know, he's probably 17, 18, 19 years old that, you know, that wasn't technology that, you know, he could take advantage of. But what an unbelievable thing to say. And then when he would come to her, to complain about whatever it may be, like as he had complaints because he was planning to be a professional football player and then became an Olympic weightlifter because he's like, well, I don't need to see to lift weights. He would come to her with maybe some complaints or just something that wasn't agreeable to him. And she said, look, I will listen to all your complaints, but I want you to do your golden list, the 10 things you're thankful for, and then come on back and we'll go through the things that you're not thankful for. And he said once he went through the golden list, he really didn't have complaints.
SPEAKER 05 :
Exactly. Isn't perspective a wonderful thing when it's always the comparison to others that always gets me in trouble? And I've been trying to break that yardstick for years and it's so much easier when we look at What we were given, not what others were given.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I love that. Anything else that you really stood out? Because he's got a whole bunch of these books where he's taken the winner's wisdom columns. The camera was four or five, but they're compilations. And now the profits go towards putting kids through college through the Stolval Center for Entrepreneurship at Oral Roberts University.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, weren't these his culmination of these were his daily blogs and he made a book out of it? Because I did that once with my blog when I had it because people were asking about specific themes they themed together. And we put it all together to make that book. But weren't these just a compilation of all of his blogs at one time?
SPEAKER 04 :
These are his weekly column, and they're called Winner's Wisdom. And every week he joins me to discuss that week's column. And they decided fairly early on to start turning them into a book. He was surprised at how many organizations wanted to air them once he got going. And he has quite a wide distribution list for those. But then he compiles them into books when he's done.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, and it is so sweet because they're very short. They're very sweet. And sometimes I can, you know, I will do two or three. Sometimes I'll do an hour of them. And again, I think I'm on 84, so I've got 16 more to go, but it's just little things in our, I like the fact that there's one thing for you to think about, and then you can read it in the morning, kind of like you do your prayers and your meditation. And then you let that be your theme for the day. And you just look, and it is amazing when I have done that or two or three of them, who pops up in my world that I need to share it with? And I'm just like, Jim, you are a master. I don't know how you did it, but the timing was amazing that I needed exactly what I needed to be because it's like, we always remember, right? When the student is ready, the teacher appears. I think when the teacher is ready, the student appears. That is amazing because oftentimes I would be sharing this. I'm like, Oh, something I can use for class later. And there was just that right person who needed to hear just that thing that day. And I'm like, wow, I get chills sometimes. It's kind of interesting.
SPEAKER 04 :
I love that. I love that. I wanted to talk to you, too, about this article that it's in that on that website, Mark and Angel, that I like. And it's three ways we failed our way to happiness. So Mark talks about. how he was and they've written a lot of books too like getting back to happy a thousand little habits of happy successful relationships you know they write about you know a lot of positive things in your good morning journal um and so he talks about how um he was rejected from seven universities when i was 18 he says i wanted to be a computer scientist so i applied to seven universities known for computer science mit cal berkeley georgia tech etc but i got rejected by all of them And soon thereafter, a high school guidance counselor told me to apply to the University of Central Florida in Orlando, which had a really fast growing, rapidly growing computer science and engineering program. And he said out of desperation, he did since he'd been rejected in so many places. He was accepted and he got a scholarship. And he said that that move actually changed his life because he met Angel there. and he met a professor who convinced him to switch from the School of Computer Science to the School of Computer Engineering with a strong focus in web design and technical writing, two skills that he uses today to run the blog Mark and Angel, which is very successful, and their books have been as well, and they have a lot of people that subscribe to their blogs as well. I just find their website to be very inspirational, but I thought... that'd be a great topic for you because he said he hadn't been rejected. If he hadn't been rejected by the seven universities, his life wouldn't have really been the same. It would have been dramatically different. So tell everybody about your failing to success.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh my goodness. My infamous TED talk. Yes. I was at the university as a sophomore student and I had been accepted provisionally and I was in the only undergrad and a graduate program. And my professor came to my practice room one day and said I was done and walked out. And that was that. And I had no warning. I had no inkling this was about to happen. And as a musician, when you're in a program like this, you are supposed to take your juries, which is simply a proficiency exam, a recital, if you will, to be able to move up to be an upperclassman. I was never even allowed to make my case. I wasn't allowed to perform. I wasn't allowed to take my jury. That day was just the day it ended. And it was such a I remember sitting there in shock and even to this day, 40 years later, I can still hear the click behind the door because it was such a profound moment and it was hard for me initially. And then eventually I got angry and then I went and did something about it, which was go to my counselor to find out how I could still graduate in four and a half years. And that's what it took is about four and a half years, a couple of summer schools so I could readjust my major so I could still graduate because I had been playing since I was five years old. There was no plan B. I never thought I needed one, right? But that forced pivots. was something that had I not been able to do that, or had I been not been forced to do that, that I could have been just another out of broke musician who was nowhere near. I mean, he was training Olympians and he has a grad students that are probably playing around the world. Like, you know, the consistency of the Royal Albert hall or, or Notre Dame or Holy name cathedral, any of those big dogs. And they're in, I would have been just the weekend church organist, which is still adequate, but certainly not what he was interested in. But my career took off into ways I could not even imagine. And now I teach failure, which I think is kind of ironic as well as he did. So you have to listen. The universe often puts me where we are needed, not necessarily where we're wanted to be. And so you bloom where you're planted and let God do the rest.
SPEAKER 04 :
Boy, I just thought I knew that would resonate with you, what they said. And I use Mark and Angel's articles a lot. And he talked about how this all started for them because they've been on the Today Show, they're bestselling authors. I mean, they've really had a lot of success with this particular website and what they do as life coaches. So number two for him, your writing is not good enough. While in school, I started enjoying my technical writing classes so much, I decided to take a few creative writing electives too, says Mark. I absolutely fell in love with writing inspiring stories and expressing myself. So I applied for a part-time editorial position at the school newspaper. I sent them five articles I had written along with my application. Two days later, I received an email which cordially explained that my writing was not good enough. That afternoon, I went home with a bruised ego and told Angel what had happened. She hugged me and said, regardless of what anyone says, if writing makes you happy, you should keep writing because that's what happy writers do. They write. And after a bit more discussion, she added, I like writing too. We should start our own little writing club and write together. A few minutes later, Angel and I turned on my computer and registered the domain name markandangel.com and our blogging days began. In other words, if my five articles hadn't been rejected by the school newspaper, the article you're reading now would never have been written in all of their books and articles all of their, I mean, they do so much. They've become so successful. I mean, to get interviewed on the Today Show for their work is really quite something. So we've got about 45 seconds, but I'm going to keep you over and we'll keep discussing this article. But go ahead. We've got about 30 seconds.
SPEAKER 05 :
The realization to understand the gift that failure gives you is something that I applaud their effort because a lot of folks don't think it's stuck there. And I think this is important to discuss.
SPEAKER 04 :
We're going to talk next, too, in the next, we're going to finish this because there's another part to this, which is called Fired for Doing the Right Things. And this is three ways we failed our way to happiness or three ways we failed our way to success. And then we're going to discuss something that's close to my heart, and that is educating your kids about finances and ourselves, for that matter, as well. We always have something to learn. We'll be right back with Dr. Cheryl Lentz.com. That's our website.
SPEAKER 03 :
Goodwin, Kansas is tuned to the mighty 670 KLT Denver.
SPEAKER 02 :
Arc Thrift has all your winter needs. You will find a variety of gently used and new items ranging from personalized Christmas gifts to ski clothes and exercise equipment, including tons of winter clothing to bundle up in. There's no need to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes or household furnishings when you can go to Arc Thrift. They have sales every weekend, and you can find almost everything you need at any of their stores. You might discover that hidden gem or snazzy one-of-a-kind jacket you can't find anywhere else. They also have a new store in Littleton at 7951 South Broadway. It is their new hidden treasure with quality items everywhere throughout the store. Buying from Ark gives back to your community. And Ark always needs new donations, so find one of their donation centers or stores and make sure to shop the store once you donate. To find the nearest Ark Thrift near you, go to arkthrift.com.
SPEAKER 04 :
Hey, welcome back. Angie Austin here with Dr. Cheryl Lentz, and we're talking about three ways we fail our way to happiness or three ways we fail our way to success, per se, which I knew would resonate with you, Cheryl.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, absolutely. The queen of failure. Sometimes I wasn't enough to do it the first time. I had to do it twice.
SPEAKER 04 :
What would you say would be your twice?
SPEAKER 05 :
When I was divorced twice, I've had some rejections from... All kinds of, you know, university type things. So there are things that I've done more than once because apparently I didn't learn the first time is my point.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, you are so funny. You crack me up. Well, we've been talking about getting fired for doing the right thing. I felt sometimes like. Women, when they stand up for themselves, sometimes in a workplace, they're considered the B word, but men are considered sometimes strong leaders. Like I worked with a guy that was so bossy and pushy and arrogant, but brilliant. And everyone just respected him so much. But if I said the same thing in a meeting, it was not, it was not. Yeah.
SPEAKER 05 :
Not well received.
SPEAKER 04 :
No, I understand.
SPEAKER 05 :
Only one time I've ever quit a university. It took me three months to do it because I was quitting for the right thing. And it was a hill I was willing to die on. And I'm willing to do it again. My integrity is not for sale. But it's hard to need the bills to be paid.
SPEAKER 04 :
They changed my job during my maternity leave, but I had a contract. And then they also wouldn't honor my clothing allowance that was in my contract. And so both of those things, they were legally responsible for doing that. So I talked to an attorney, especially about the changing my job while I was on maternity leave. And I'd had two other incidents which were clearly sexual harassment that I never pursued. um once i was on tv and i jumped off something um while i was doing the weather and my my my jacket the buttons popped open and then you could see my bra well you know that's obviously embarrassing but okay fine it's a one-time deal it's over like we laughed about it ha ha ha Then I was at Broncos, the stadium where the Broncos playing. We were there for a soccer game or something and I was doing the weather or some coverage. And I was on the field and when I looked at the TV monitor, it was looping me jumping down and my shirt popping open and it was looped. So my shirt was popping open over and over and over again. And so it was like on closed circuit, right? But other people within like the station and within the building that we're working on this particular live feed, they could all see it. And I didn't pursue that at all. And then there was another incident where one of the reporters dressed up as me for Halloween and said it was because I was so popular on the air. And it was kind of like a stripper weather woman where like he had a big boobs and people were stuffing dollar bills down the front of his bra. And then they shared pictures at work and they were like, well, this isn't a work incident because I did complain. You know, I was so embarrassing. They were always laughing about it. And like he was an alcoholic. So what am I going to dress up like a drunk reporter? You know, I mean, it was like so ridiculous. And that's what he said, too. He's like, they make fun of me for being drunk. And I'm like, I absolutely do not make fun of him for being drunk. We just know that he is drunk when he goes on the air sometimes. But I don't make fun of him. You know, and so I didn't pursue that in any way, shape or form, you know, legally, but I did say, hey, I have a right to keep my job while I'm on maternity leave. And they gave me a two-year contract, but I said, well, I know that I won't get for me not to go after them. You know, they just said, sure, we'll give you a two-year extension, but... I knew that was the end of the line for me that, you know, once they gave me that two years and I wasn't going to pursue them legally because that was the agreement that I knew I'd be gone. But I never pursued the two other things which were clearly inappropriate. So I did actually lose my job per se by doing the right thing, I think, by saying you have to honor my contract.
SPEAKER 05 :
You shouldn't have to choose between doing the right thing and doing your job. And many people often do, even if it's fought in the court, you may lose the battle, but you lose the war too. And it's just such a sad thing that that's what people have reduced themselves to do when we just can't all just play nice in the sandbox. There are certain lines in decorum, but I'm not sure we teach that anymore. And it's really kind of sad people choose to behave that way.
SPEAKER 04 :
You know, I know someone that told someone they had to come into work every day. And we're almost out of time. I guess it's almost here. But they had to come in the office every day, and he didn't want to. So he created, he fabricated a sexual harassment thing and said one of the male bosses was touching him, which was a complete lie. But it was the day after he was asked to come in the office every day. And so, of course, they said, well, you don't have to come in the office. You know what I mean? Like he won. Convenient, huh? Yeah, I just thought, wow, I could never live with myself to make false accusations about someone to quote unquote get my way. All right, Cheryl, give us your website. DrCherylLentz.com DrCherylLentz.com Well, you know, you and I are both fiscally responsible. You're a single woman. I was single well into my life. And if you are just joining us, this is Angie Austin with The Good News. And we talk a lot about being, you know, financially responsible, preparing for the future. And, you know, I have three teens and I work with them all in order to set them up for financial success. And did you know that less than half of teens feel financially prepared for the real world? Well, joining us today is an expert in finances, Robin Growley, head of consumer deposits at Bank of America. Welcome, Robin. OK, so as I mentioned, Robin, I've got the three teens, so I'm really in the thick of it with all of this. So let's just start off, first of all, like why is it important to start talking about money with our kids at a young age? And, you know, how should we get them started?
SPEAKER 06 :
Sure. So at Bank of America, we found that half of teens feel financially prepared for the real world when they leave for college. So that just tells us right now that we need to have more financial management conversations, you know, earlier and often, right? And then also, as we talk to many of our clients who are parents, we hear that they feel like they bear the burden to a certain extent or the responsibility of teaching children around financial literacy. So they know they want to help, but sometimes they just don't know how to go about it and how to get started, right? So I always say, you know, first things first, keep things simple, right? Start by incorporating... financial lessons into everyday activities. So you can really help your child, your youth, your young adult to grasp the concept of money. I am, I'm a mom. I have 10 year old twin boys who are involved in many sports. And we always get the questions around, Hey mom, I want the new basketball bat or new baseball bat. I want the basketball shoes. And my little guys have been working towards saving for basketball shoes. And just last night, we finally went out and bought the basketball shoes. And, you know, I was so proud of them because they, They saved all of what they needed to buy these shoes. And all along the way, we were able to have the conversations around their savings goal. And if they saw something else they wanted, like the t-shirt, I'm like, is that really more important than the basketball shoes? You get to make the decision. So really connecting with them on a topic related to financial management, but in a way and around something that's meaningful to them, like the basketball shoes. So I think about those as teachable moments. It's a really simple way to get started. And those teachable moments happen every day, right? Whether we're out grocery shopping or going to the restaurant, buying ice cream or basketball shoes, we can have that dialogue and conversation and really start to connect with our children on financial management.
SPEAKER 04 :
I love that. I love that. What about, you know, setting financial resolutions like together? Like I liked, I obviously pay for the big vacations, but I have them save for like their spending money. I don't want to be like penny nickel dimed for like, I want this thing at the dollar store. I want this shell. I want this ice cream cone. It's like, oh, deal with your own little purchases, you know? So I try to get them to save for that. What other kinds of financial resolutions do you like families to set together?
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, well, number one, kudos to you on the shared savings goal. I love that for the family vacation. That's one of the best ways to make sure everyone's thinking about this vacation, especially as you know, it's expensive, right? I love how you're managing that. The other thing I would say is just think about improving financial literacy, right? Creating that safe environment, age appropriate to have conversations online. on financial management, because in so many instances, as adults, we're like, oh, you know, finance is a really personal topic. We don't want to talk about it with anybody. We don't really want to share, right, those types of things. But in order for children to learn, we've got to create that safe environment so they can hear that we actually have to pay for the car, right? We have to pay a mortgage payment. We have to pay for the electricity. Those things are not free, right? Or the cell phone that they're using, those are not free. And so creating that safe environment and giving them just awareness and understanding the cost of things and ultimately how they will grow and need to participate in that is so critical. The other part, I think so much is we say, oh, well, I'm saving to buy the basketball shoes, right? What do I want to buy for myself? But we sometimes need to flip that equation and talk a bit about charitable giving, right?
SPEAKER 01 :
Yes.
SPEAKER 06 :
Helping our children understand that it's not just about what they want to buy. How can we give and support others? And so charitable giving builds that empathy, reinforces the shared values as a family. And so having the conversation and talking to your child about, well, what really means a lot to you, right, in terms of giving back, that's just another great way to, again, create awareness around financial management. But it's not just about them buying something for themselves.
SPEAKER 04 :
I like that. You know, and the pride they feel as well. And I know my son's a little bit unusual. He's a freshman in college, and we just moved him up. He was commuting. We moved him up to CU Boulder, and he'd been in a car accident, but it was our car, right? And it's the other person's fault, so... were going to get the money back from the car but i'm like but that's not for you to buy whatever you want right that's our money well he said well you know he's been saving he's been running his business since he was 12 so for seven years so last night on his own he'd been researching the cars he paid cash for the car he got the bill of sale and he got the pink slip now we'll of course help him with the insurance because you know at his age i can't even imagine without us what that would be but he's also saved and i know this sounds crazy but it sounds crazy to me a down payment for a house in boulder which we're not going to get yet because we'll have to do the loan obviously but he has the 20 down and so we're going to buy the house at the beginning of next school year But then I have faith and hope was 15 and 17. We were at a high end like resort just so we could use the water park over break. And so we gave hope the check and we said, here's how you fill it out. This, that, and the other. And like, she is so not her brother. We were sitting by the pool and 20 minutes later, we see our waitress running for us. Why is she running for us? And she said, hey, did you guys mean to leave a credit card for the bill? And so we look at Hope because we've given, she has a credit card now and Hope's like, oh, you have to leave it. And I'm like, well, you'll leave it and they bring it back to you per se. You can't just take it when they bring you the bill. They're on totally different levels of understanding finances. And I guess we have to give ourselves a break because some kids really get it. And the minute she has a dollar, we don't know what happened to it. It's gone, but she had a great time. You know what I mean? She knows how to have a good time. But her brother saves every dollar he ever makes. So what are some of the tools and resources that you guys have there at BVA for parents to help them with their kids and with finances to help them learn how to manage money?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, you know, I love your story. Those are great, and you're right. I mean, you see, whether it's our children, youth, young adults, everyone kind of learns at a different pace, and they have different tendencies of whether they're the saver or the spender. But I think underneath all of that, one of the most important skills is learning to budget, right? And so developing a realistic budget early on, whether you're a saver or a spender, whatever that may be, having that budget will really help you keep grounded and And then help you achieve your financial goals, right? And sometimes if we're the, you know, have more of a tendency to spend, that can help us get back on track more easily too, right? So I would say most important resource you can do is really help find a budget. And that can be as simple as literally getting out a piece of paper and a pencil and starting that budget, right? The inflows that you have coming in, the outflows that you have going out. and where do you need to kind of budget and adjust, right? And then revisiting that with your teen, you know, your youth, your young adult. And of course, a budget at that age should be pretty simple. And it's more about just the habit of getting into budgeting and being thoughtful about your finances. So I think that's number one. And then I would say number two really is giving the children the hands-on experience. And so I think in both of the examples you shared, those are phenomenal because you gave your child that opportunity to have the hands-on experience. And so At Bank of America, one of the ways that we continue to foster and support our families, it's all around our Safe Balance for Family Banking account. And that really is a parent-owned account. It has flexible financial controls. So depending on the age of your child and where you are, you may want to ensure that they're spending here or not spending there. And so those controls are there to help support the family. And then also there's an age-appropriate digital banking experience, too. The child can have the debit card. And then there's financial literacy resources. So it really is packaged, if you will, to be able to support the family, be able to support the youth and young adult, wherever they are along that financial spectrum, to ensure they have all of those tools and resources to be successful in their financial journey.
SPEAKER 04 :
I love that. I love all of your ideas and good luck with your kids too. Oh, by the way, this baseball bat that my kid wanted was $500 and he doesn't even play baseball anymore, but I was able to find it like resale, you know, for like 60. I cannot believe how much, how expensive sporting equipment has gotten. All right. Thank you so much for your tips and give us the website one more time.
SPEAKER 06 :
Sure. Bankofamerica.com forward slash family banking.
SPEAKER 04 :
Awesome. Really fun. I love talking about finances. It's so important. Thanks, Robin.
SPEAKER 06 :
Okay, take care, Angie.
SPEAKER 04 :
You too.
SPEAKER 01 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
Join Angie Austin as she hosts a heartfelt conversation with Grace Fox, diving deep into life's real struggles as shared through compelling stories. From personal journeys of letting go to understanding the psychological roots of attachment, this episode is filled with insight and introspection. Discover how faith and perseverance can transform arduous paths into enlightening experiences. The episode also shifts focus to the pressing topic of foster care, featuring expert insights from Kristen Pratt of Foster More. Learn about the challenges and triumphs involved in fostering and how communities can step up to support this vital cause. It's an episode that underscores resilience, hope, and the courage to face life's uncertainties. Immerse yourself in engaging narratives as our guests share their personal stories of overcoming journeys, the emotional ties to possessions, and the fortitude required in fostering. With thought-provoking discussions on securing peace through faith and fostering hope through love, this episode offers both encouragement and inspiration to navigate your life path.
SPEAKER 02 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now with The Good News, here's Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hello there friend, Angie Austin and Grace Fox. And today we are talking about real life struggles from her book, Fresh Hope for Today, Devotions for Joy on the Journey. Hey Grace. Hi, good to talk to you again. All right, so tell us about real life struggles.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, so I wrote this one after interviewing a friend. Her name was Nancy. She lives in Oregon, actually. And she talked to me about how she and her husband had decided to take a hike. And so they trudged, as she described it, trudged four miles uphill through the forest. And they began second-guessing their wisdom in choosing to do this hike. but she said that they persevered and they got to the top of a, when they got to the top, it was this meadow that was just filled with flowers and glacier fed streams. And she said, it was just so beautiful. They sat down and had a picnic there and thoroughly enjoyed their time. It was that kind of a space where you work so hard to get somewhere. And when you, when you finally arrive, it's just so beautiful. You don't want to leave. And that was like their experience. And, And so when I heard her story, I thought, well, that is like real life in that sometimes we end up on a journey that is so arduous. And it's maybe not by choice, but it's just something that happens. We end up on this path that is so hard. And we just don't know that we're ever going to reach whatever it is we're trying to reach. But finally, the Lord just brings us into a place of rest. and it's it's a place that our soul is longing for after all of that maybe hardship that we've just come through but where we can sit down and we can rest and we know that he's with us and we know that he's got us and he's holding us close but wow it's you know the destination of getting there and experiencing that rest for our soul is good but the pathway to getting there is sometimes really hard
SPEAKER 06 :
Can you think of examples like in your own life where that really applied to you as well? And you're like, oh, I'm going to write this because I can really relate to this.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, I think that when my husband and I sent the Lord nudging us to purge almost all of our earthly belongings to move aboard our sailboat home. And we didn't have a boat. It's not like we had this boat sitting around and we could just move into it. We had to find one that worked for living aboard and find a place to moor it. It was a journey that took a lot of energy mentally and emotionally as I had to part with all of these things that I counted precious. It was a path. It was arduous. And we didn't have a long time to do it. Once we got on it, once we actually found a boat and bought it, we had like six weeks to get rid of our stuff. And it was a path that wore me out in some ways, just emotionally every day, getting up and sorting again and purging again and saying goodbye again to these things that we'd held dear. But once we completed that and arrived, moved into the boat, settled in, And realize that, wow, you know, like this was a time of really stretching our faith and growing our faith. But we saw God come through. And it was a time of thanking him for that opportunity to walk that tough path. But to come to that place of knowing full well that we had obeyed him completely. And there was peace in that, even though I'd said goodbye to all these things that I'd once held dear, there was peace in my heart and there was joy in having obeyed. And it was something that, yeah, we walked that path and it was hard, but wow, it's been worth every step.
SPEAKER 06 :
You know, it's interesting you talk about, you know, peace of letting go of things that you once held dear. It's so hard sometimes to part with them. And there's some organizer lady that, you know, basically says, if you feel, if that item brings you joy, you know, keep it. And of course, if it's something you haven't, you know, used or worn or whatever for many years, you know, even if you're like, oh, I might wear that again. There's really no sense in keeping it. But I wonder why we have such a hard time letting things go. My... Mother-in-law has... The family calls her an organized hoarder. And so she has a basement that's probably 1,500 square feet. And it's the most organized basement stuffed to the brim with like 200 purses, you know, 400 pairs of pants. And they're those stretch pants that... you know like senior citizen ladies wear that you can slide on and have thanksgiving dinner and they still fit just fine in every color of the rainbow and then i'm like well why are there like 20 yellow pairs well she used to be super skinny so there's like you know three pairs and a size four three pairs and a size six three pairs and i'm not i'm like oh my gosh like you could never if you wore these pants every day like You probably, she couldn't even wear them like at the end of her life now and go through all those pants. You know what I mean? Like it's just crazy to me and she won't let us down there. Like my son really wants to go down there because he's a thrifter and he's been allowed down a couple of times like with oversight. Like she'll be down there with him. And he might get like a hockey jersey that my husband had when he was little. Or this last time my son came home with a stack of photographs of like my husband when he was, you know, a kid and in college. And then some from when we first got married, like probably 50 pictures. So that's what he came home with. But usually he gets like a little thing. I even got down there. Oh, I couldn't believe that was allowed down. But I needed one of those like shopping bags kind of like to take on the plane that... you know fooled up and she had some nicer ones down there that were like designed or whatever so I found a small one that you could maybe put like the size of like two bottles of wine maybe so that was perfect for like my snack on the plane I go oh look there's another one there's a matching one I'm thinking oh I should take both right she goes oh no no no no no don't get greedy girl And I'm looking around, right? Even three of the purses that I gave her, they're just hanging down there collecting dust, right? Like coach bags. And I'm like, are you sure you've never used that coach bag? Are you sure you want to keep that? Like I gave that to you 20 years ago. I would definitely use that. Oh, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, what? What is it? I don't understand the psychology grace behind that kind of hoarding. You know what I mean? And I know they say it can relate back to maybe losses. Like her dad was a police officer and he was killed in the line of duty when she was like maybe 8, 9, 10. And I've heard that like losing, like if you lose a child or lose something big, like somehow hanging onto these things. And I know that that's not like the Christian way to do it. We're not supposed to get our like comfort and our like, you know, out of things. They're not supposed to give us like that comfort. Right. But it's perplexing to me. Like I can't wrap my head around it, but it's got to have something to do with it giving you comfort or comfort.
SPEAKER 05 :
um security something like that you know that we're supposed to be secure through christ but apparently we're secure through 200 pairs of pants and 200 purses yeah the word security came to my mind as you were talking and i think that's it is that we look to things for our security but if that house burned down if that house were to burn down today how would she respond right like if she found her security in those things that'd be a significant loss for her But the one thing about hanging on to the Lord and finding our security in him is he's never going to leave us. Nothing's ever going to take him away from us. The scripture says in Romans that nothing separates us from his love. And so no matter what happens, even on those tough walks that we take through life, sometimes doesn't matter where he leads us or what he asks us to go through or what he allows in our life. still we can find hope and we can find peace and we can find joy if our security is in him and not in stuff that can be gone in a heartbeat.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, and I think with so many of the people, I keep seeing these pictures because I've got so many friends in the news business in Los Angeles. And one of my girlfriends went out really early this morning. And, you know, I don't think we can really wrap our heads around the loss that those people experienced, right? And I know everybody says, well, you know, you still have your life and things can be replaced, etc., etc. But it's a whole... change of like all those lives because it's not like a house in your neighborhood burns down and oh you get rid of it you rebuild like it's so toxic up there and now they'll have problems with mudslides right but your grocery store is gone your library is gone your mechanic is gone all your neighbors homes are gone so like then you go up there and you rebuild and in the midst of all this toxic you know material that's up there and even working up there you know how how easy is it going to be to get workers that want to go through all this burnt toxic you know you know destruction that they need to throw into a big dumpster and you know start from the ground up and then the soil and i don't know just that kind of loss um you know, being secure in Christ, we're supposed to find our security there. But I can imagine when you return to your neighborhood and you don't even know if there's a possibility of you rebuilding, like, I'm very curious to see what it'll be like in 20 years. I'm assuming the oceanfront Malibu homes where those people have money coming out of their ears and they're like $10 million houses, those will get rebuilt because even if you don't have insurance money, you're loaded and you can rebuild. And the people in Pacific Palisades, you know, those are very expensive homes too in the millions, but some of them may have been in a different position of maybe owning it for 30 years and they they aren't multi-millionaires it just became millionaires because the you know real estate values went up so much but you know i'm just very curious to see what that will be like in 20 or or so years if it is all rebuilt because it is such a prime spot but i sometimes i feel like so the picture that i had when my friend sent all these pictures out today um was of just kind of despair and just kind of like a hopelessness that many of them feel about, you know, where do we go from here kind of feeling. And I think some of us have that feeling about other things in life, you know, where we end of a relationship oh gosh where do i go from here or the loss of someone a loved one you know how do i work my way through this how do i claw my way out of this i just watched a documentary um on avicii this dj who was so talented just oh so talented and he committed suicide and i just thought to myself like gosh, you were such a genius with creating music. If you didn't want to do those concerts, couldn't you just stop doing the concerts and just create with other, he was working with the top of the top of the top, you know, musicians. And couldn't you just do that? Like, couldn't you see your way out of it? And I know that that's why we have faith. I know that's why we have like the Lord to turn to. But I just think people get lost in a sea of despair sometimes.
SPEAKER 05 :
I agree with you on that. I think depression and anxiety are on the rise. And I just want to encourage listeners today to not give up, to keep putting that one foot in front of the other, just like my friend and her husband, as they were going on that path. They didn't know it was going to be four miles long. They didn't know how long it was going to take or how arduous, how steep it got. They just heard it was a great path. So, you know, the path that we end up on, we don't know where it's going to lead to eventually. We don't know sometimes how steep it's going to get. But like these poor people that have lost so much out in California, they don't know how long this is going to take before they can return to their life or what their life is going to look like. What is their new normal going to be? Where is their workplace going to be? Where are their kids going to go to school? What about their church family if they lost their church? So, you know, everything is disrupted in their lives. But to not give up hope, just every day put one foot in front of the other on that path and persevere because eventually it will even out. We don't know what that will look like. There are no guarantees, but It's going to be okay is what we want to say, right? It's going to be okay.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I always love, you know, your Fresh Hope for Today devotions. That's the book, Fresh Hope for Today, Devotions for Joy on the Journey. If you want some hope, it's a great book. Always enjoy talking to Grace Fox. And if you want to find her and her books, you can go to gracefox.com. Thank you, friend. Thank you.
SPEAKER 03 :
Manitou Springs is listening to the Mighty 670 KLT.
SPEAKER 01 :
Arc Thrift has all your winter needs. You will find a variety of gently used and new items ranging from personalized Christmas gifts to ski clothes and exercise equipment, including tons of winter clothing to bundle up in. There's no need to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes or household furnishings when you can go to Arc Thrift. They have sales every weekend, and you can find almost everything you need at any of their stores. You might discover that hidden gem or snazzy one-of-a-kind jacket you can't find anywhere else. They also have a new store in Littleton at 7951 South Broadway. It is their new hidden treasure with quality items everywhere throughout the store. Buying from Ark gives back to your community. And Ark always needs new donations, so find one of their donation centers or stores and make sure to shop the store once you donate. To find the nearest Ark Thrift near you, go to arkthrift.com.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. Well, you know, if you've listened to the program over the years, I guess I've been on, gosh, radio and TV like 25 years. So many of you know my background and I have a real heart for foster care because I spent some time in foster care growing up and really was appreciative of the families that took me in. Joining us is Kristen Pratt, and she is with Foster More, the leadership team. Welcome, Kristen.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much for having me, Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right, so let's just start off, first of all, I know that there is a need for foster care. I've seen books where it's like page after page after page of kids that are looking for homes. So is this crisis in America worse now? And just tell us about the foster care crisis in general.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, so... Any given day, it fluctuates a bit, but there are approximately 400,000 children in foster care in America. So it is, it has seen some slight improvements the last few years, but a lot of those kids are experiencing, you know, over two to three placements a year, the majority of them. And so there's a real need for loving, stable homes for these kids who are facing a lot of obstacles.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yes. Oh my goodness. All right. So I know that you guys do some research and there was a barrier, a significant barrier preventing, you know, families from stepping forward to, I'll tell you what my mind would be. Well, first of all, I have three teenagers, five pets and off and on my 82 year old mom. But my barrier would probably be my husband. But I might be able to work on him like once the kids are gone, because they're all in high school now. But the barrier for me is my spouse, like I would do foster care. And I know it's rough. I don't have any fairy tale like version of how difficult it could potentially be. So what are the barriers that people see in terms of becoming foster parents?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I mean, that is a barrier, like your spouse, you have to both be on board. But We always tell people, too, there's a need for foster parents of all kinds, all ages, you know, empty nesters, young people, older people, single people. So there's really, you know, anyone can step up there. And one of the things that we found that people would say is that they couldn't take the time off work. So they'd say, well, my job doesn't allow for me to take that time off work. And, you know, like there's a lot that goes into that. Um, when the child is placed in the home, not only do you need that time to bond with, with some child who has by definition experienced some trauma, but you also need the time to get them enrolled in a new school and doctor's appointments and, you know, all the appointments. So you really, it's important to have that time off when the child joins a home and a lot of businesses don't provide for that. And it stops a lot of potential foster parents from moving forward when they find out that information.
SPEAKER 06 :
Um, have you, have you, like, is this something that you try to address with businesses to try to, I know that my, my station that I worked for one of the gals on the, one of the weather women, uh, adopted a child and she got, you know, the typical time off that you would get. But in this case it was an infant, but I know some businesses do give you time off, but I would. assume with a single parent that that would just kind of like you know take that option off the plate for them to become a foster parent but do um does the foster care system help with things like um you know daycare if you're getting like a kid that's two three four that needs you know daycare during the day they do there are it depends on the state you live in but there are some you know provisions for that and that's another thing that we work with businesses like if a business has on-site child care um we ask that you know
SPEAKER 04 :
youth in foster care if someone becomes a foster parent their child can be um immediately have access to the to the facility yeah but um yeah one of the things we realized is that a lot of the businesses that were offering like you were talking about adoption paid time off for adoption or birth foster care was just overlooked because yes you know a lot of people think of foster care as a road to adoption. And so they get, you know, the time off when the child is adopted, but you really need that time off when the child is placed in the home. And the child is not always adopted in foster care. About half the time they're reunited with the parents. So we need all different kinds of homes, people that want to adopt, people that want to be there for a family that needs some support. And so we want to make sure that businesses are specifically giving that time off for just being a foster parent
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, I understand that Foster More is obviously helping with this whole workplace initiative, you know, trying to get places to make it more, you know, user-friendly to become a foster parent. Can you talk about that?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So at Foster More, we have sort of like a ladder of engagement on our website. We try to engage people in all different ways. So, you know, if you want to learn about becoming a mentor for youth in foster care, if you want to have the opportunity to pack a duffel bag or get involved and volunteer in different ways, you can start on our website to do that. And one of the tabs on the website is to become a foster parent, where you can fill out a little form, and then we can connect you with someone, depending on where you live, someone in your local area that can help you learn about becoming a foster parent. And the same thing for the workplace pledge, there's a tab on the website where you can learn more about If you're a business owner or an employee and you're interested in having your business become officially foster-friendly, you can do that on the website, too, and we'd be happy to talk more to anyone about their business becoming foster-friendly.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. I'm just wondering, you know, for people listening today who are thinking about becoming a foster parent, I know a lot of it seems like overwhelming and, you know, all the things you have to tackle to be approved, et cetera. So how do you recommend people get, you know, started on the process? Obviously your website with all the tabs, you know, a really good idea. But how can someone personally, I mean, talking to someone, that's a great idea that you just gave us. What else?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, well, again, research shows that it takes about 18 months to two years for people. Once they start thinking about becoming a foster parent, you know, do you have the idea to actually become a foster parent? So, you know, it does take, and as it should take a lot of thought for people, it takes a lot of research. So it's something you can start looking into. It's a little bit different than requirements in every state. You can start asking people about it. You can look into other ways to, to get involved and volunteer first. I mean, the need is great for foster parents, but if you want to learn more about foster care, you can volunteer. There are tons of amazing organizations all across the country doing great work. You can learn more about how to get involved in different ways. you know, maybe on the path to becoming a foster parent, as well.
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, in your particular case, what I always love to get people's passion for things, obviously, I'm interested in this topic, because I live with families and relatives, and I only had one, quote, unquote, official foster home, but I had many places where I stayed, you know, so what what what is behind your passion for this kind of work?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I've always been involved in working with kids. I have a background in special education and I became a CASA, which is a court appointed advocate. And that's something people can look into as well, where you support a youth in foster care, you go to court with them and you're sort of their mentor and their person along the way. And so I learned a lot about foster care that way. And just, you know, the more it's something that, like I was saying, people don't talk about that much, but it's such a big issue. And once you, it's like you can't unsee, you know, what you've seen and what you've learned. And it really requires so many more people to step up in any way that you can. And I think it's something that you realize, like, we're all connected to this issue. It's not just a sort of other or someone, you know, far off that you don't know. Like you said, like almost all the time, When we talk to people at businesses, we hear stories like yours where it was like I was in foster care. My cousin was in foster care. My parents were. I was a foster parent. And so so many people are connected. And it's just not only when you provide the workplace benefits, you're also getting people to talk about it, too, which is so important. And that's why we really appreciate you having us on, too, so we can talk about it.
SPEAKER 06 :
Now, I'm wondering in terms of I know that there's like people are thinking, oh, foster care, you know, I'm going to have this kid for 18 years. But there are other, you know, that sounds terrible, but I said it like that. But you know what I mean? Like people are overwhelmed by the prospect of having a child that long or maybe someone, you know, like myself, who's already raised their kids, who's maybe looking at teens or something of the sort. I know you can specify what you're interested in, but is there also like emergency short-term care where you might just have a baby for a week or, you know, like shorter-term options per se? Now, one of my girlfriends, she's a nurse, her husband's a doctor. They did have a short-term situation. And then once the little girl had stayed with them for quite some time, she told me, well, we're going to adopt her. And I was like, wow, like your kids are in college, like yikes. And she said it's the right thing to do because she'd been with them for so long.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So most places you can sign up for respite care. So that's basically like giving a foster parent a weekend break or a few day break. Oh, I've never heard of that. Yeah. So that's a really cool way to sort of like dip your toe in and get involved. It's called respite care. And also there's a really huge need for people that don't want to adopt from foster care that they just want to support. Because like I was saying, the goal of foster care, the ultimate goal is is to support whole families so that kids can be reunified. And that, you know, doesn't always happen. And sometimes, you know, the best situation is for them to stay with the foster parents. But if at all possible, you try to support a whole family so that the child can be reunited with their biological parents. And that requires people to step up temporarily, right? Like that's so important. And I think a lot of times people think of it more as like a road to path to adoption, which it can be. But there's a huge need for people that want to just be there and provide a safe, loving, supportive space for a child in the family who's going through a crisis.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. We only have a couple of minutes left, but I can't believe I've never heard of respite care. Okay. So would you keep the child for the day or is this something like more like several days or do you kind of take them maybe on? I know CASA, they take them on like outings and things like that from their foster situation. So what are the possibilities for respite care for a foster parent?
SPEAKER 04 :
So respite care, you know, I think it depends on each in each state. I think it's a little bit different, but most of the time it's, you know, two, three days you're certified as a foster parent. So you would have to get the certification, like, you know, the cost of you're not, you have to have like a background check and everything, but you're not certified as a foster parent. So if you're doing respite care, you have to go through the whole process of making sure your home is suitable and everything. And then it would be, I think the time really varies, you know, it could be, Two nights, three nights a week. It's just really that time, like say a foster parent needs a break or is going on vacation or has a family emergency, you know, and they need to go out of town. So someone providing respite care would give them that.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, I think about, you know, business trips. Okay, we have one minute left. Tell me your takeaway. What do you want to tell people that are, like, kind of on the fence? Like, what do you want people to know if you had a one-minute elevator speech to give to us?
SPEAKER 04 :
I think the main thing we want people to know, and this is what we say at Foster Mer, these kids are amazing, and they're resilient, and they have the potential to overcome anything, and they really just need someone... to step up and be there for them. The outcomes for kids in foster care are not great, and that can change if we as a society and as individuals step up and are there for these kids.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I sure appreciate all that you do. My foster care situation was quite interesting because I come from a family where my dad has his PhDs, well-educated, but we had a lot of, he was estranged from our family for like 35 years. And then one of my brothers was murdered. Another one ended up homeless. Wow. Here I graduated top of my class. I worked full time all through high school and college. So for somebody listening, just the opportunity to stay with my foster family and other families that really cared, I think really made a difference in my life and where my first job was at NBC News out of college in Los Angeles. So thank you, Kristen, for all you do for others. Really appreciate you.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much, Angie. I'd love to hear more about your story.
SPEAKER 06 :
I'd love to talk again. Thanks, Kristen.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
In this thought-provoking episode, Angie Austin brings forth conversations that challenge us to rethink the way we view our lives. Jim Stovall shares his insights on breaking free from a mediocre existence and what it means to truly live a fulfilling life. Through poignant anecdotes, including the tale of a man planning a new chapter post-incarceration, listeners are invited to reconsider the power of a single life-altering decision. Moreover, Angie’s conversation with Dr. Scott Adzick explores pioneering work in fetal surgery, offering hope and insights into life-saving medical advancements. As Dr. Adzick talks about training future specialists, the episode also highlights the importance of mentorship and legacy in impactful work. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their passions and make deliberate choices that align with their values and dreams. Whether it's a career change or finding joy in volunteering, this episode serves as a guidepost for navigating towards a life of significance and satisfaction.
SPEAKER 04 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here's Angie.
SPEAKER 03 :
Hello there, friend. Angie Austin, Jim Stovall with The Good News. And today we are talking about your best life. Sounds like the best column. I love this, Jim.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, thank you. It's a phrase we all kind of borrow from Oprah. And she probably got it from somewhere else. But, you know, and the premise is that... we have a choice. We can live our best life. We can live our worst life. And, you know, I'm well aware of the fact that bad things happen to good people. And, you know, it can either be a something that defeats you or a springboard to greater success. And Walt Whitman said, I am not one person. I am many persons. You know, I'm a giant. I'm a dwarf. I'm wealthy. I'm poor. I'm you know, successful, I'm a failure, all these things, because he realized that inside of each of us is the potential to be all of those things. And, you know, we all have those moments, those days, those periods of time that change that. I had a gentleman in my office last week who I met at a fundraiser event I was doing for a Oh, a faith-based group that helps people getting out of prison. Okay. And he had made a horrible series of decisions when he was 15 years old, and it ended up with him killing a guy, and he spent the next 35 years of his life in the penitentiary. So I met him at age 50 when he just got out, and he had been in prison every day since he was 15. And, you know, and it's just amazing. He recounted what happened to him that morning. And he made a couple of dumb decisions and put himself in a bad place. And there you go. I mean, it wasn't some big conspiracy plan or something. It was a momentary thing. And his life is there. So he talked to me about the fact that, okay, that's been your life up to now. But now you're 50. For the next 35 years, you can decide what do you want your life to be. And you have to have a double good life from here on out to make up for that first part. So you've got to come back. You're like a team. You're two touchdowns behind. You've got to make up for this. And he's making plans to do that. And we all have the ability to live a great life or a poor life. Unfortunately, most people... live right in the middle. They live a mediocre existence. And in our country today, Angie, it doesn't take much to be mediocre. You can just kind of drift through life if you want to, and that's where it is. Or you can change your life by changing your mind, and you can live a great life. And it's all about making a decision. And you can have one moment right now today that changes that, just like the guy I told you about, When he was 15 years old, he had one moment he did something really stupid and ruined his life. Well, the contrary is true. We can all have one moment where we make our mind to change. I remember a moment like that for me, and my life will never be the same. I just don't want to live like this anymore. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and that's it. And, you know, many things go back to that. And I just decided that's it. We're not living like this anymore.
SPEAKER 03 :
Was that the loaf of bread?
SPEAKER 05 :
Yes, indeed. Yeah, we miscalculated our groceries as we were going through the grocery store. And Crystal had to go put back a loaf of bread. And it was embarrassing and frustrating. And I just said there is no reason I should ever live like this. I'm just not going to live like this anymore. And that changed my world.
SPEAKER 03 :
And you two, weren't you first and second in your college class when you graduated?
SPEAKER 05 :
We were indeed. We were indeed. But we had gotten way in debt, and I was blind. And at that point, I thought disabilities means you couldn't do stuff.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER 05 :
Everything I knew about being blind, I learned from people that told me what that meant. And it's no different than all of us going through life if we're mediocre. Someone told us this is how you live. And people that live a pinnacle existence, a mountaintop existence, they either had somebody amazing tell them how they could live life, they read a book, or they just got a vision of who they could be, and they just decided, I'm not going to be that way anymore. And I read about once this bald eagle had fallen out of the nest and had been taken in through a set of circumstances. It ends up with a bunch of ducks that have just hatched. And this eagle, you know, was raised by this mama duck and, you know, and took on the character. This eagle thought he was a duck. And he walked like a duck, talked like a duck, you know, even started quacking like a duck. I mean, and took on those characteristics. Oh, my gosh. we have a tendency to become like our environment or the people around us, and we can change that. And any time we don't like it, we can change the channel. Sometimes we act like it's a wired-in broadcast and we're stuck with this. No, you've got 500 channels. You can do anything with your life you want, and you change your life when you change your mind. And that's why every once in a while you need somebody to come along And think, what would your best life look like? I mean, what would you do if you could do anything you wanted to do? Because the reality is that's where we all live.
SPEAKER 03 :
Now, what did you tell this guy? So he made a mistake, killed somebody when he was 15, didn't plan it. And all these years later, he's 50. What did you tell him to do in order to live his best life?
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, I told him, first, we've all got to decide what it is we want. What do we want the end to look like? And he's working on that right now. We're going to have another meeting next month. But I said, then you got to look at what talents, abilities and experiences do you have? And he said, well, I don't have any. I said, that's where you're wrong. There are people going into prison, getting out of prison. There are people who need to make quality decisions to stay out of prison. And you have a unique life. You can speak to those people. And you know what it's like on the inside. You know what it's like out here. And more than anybody I know, you can speak to that issue. And, you know, we talked about him, you know, consulting with people, writing a book, helping young people in high schools. I mean, you know, when you have a guy walk in and say, I'm 50 years old. I mean, you know, I'm as old as your parents and almost your grandparents standing here. And when I was your age that you are right now, I did something really stupid and I ended up this way. And, you know, and maybe you could help a handful of kids from avoiding that. And, uh, that would be a good life. You, you, you would be living your best life when you use the talents and abilities and experiences you've had to help other people. So he and I talked about that and, um, You know, and he's got a job. He's the place that I help raise money for. They help people get jobs, and it's not a great job, but it's a job. And he has an apartment, and it's not a great apartment, but it's a good place to start. And as he pointed out, it's better than a jail cell, and the neighborhood's better. So he's feeling pretty good about it.
SPEAKER 03 :
Whenever I talk to interviewees that I find particularly interesting, I figure out where they got their passion for what they do. And one of the doctors that I've interviewed that is coming up again is Dr. Adzik, and he does fetal surgery. And he told me, I'll never forget, of all the thousands of interviews, I'll never forget, he said, what's the most satisfying thing about your work? Or when have you felt like, wow, I'm really doing something that makes a difference? He goes, well, every year when I go to the big party for the kids that I've done fetal surgery on, so it might be heart surgery while the baby's in the womb that saves its life. He goes, I see him throwing the football and having a great time together, enjoying the party, eating their hot dogs or whatever they're having. And he said, and I think, wow, this is really great work that I do. This is this is really I'm making a difference. This is very satisfying. I thought, wow, what a cool thing, because he's working on cleft palates and club feet, heart surgeries, spina bifida, you know, all these things that we never would have operated on a baby in the womb. Right. It's just so fascinating to me. And so I started talking more recently about like finding your passion. Like you said, what are you interested in? What are your skills like? you know, what are your values, where do you think you could add, whether it's, you know, a job where you're going to get paid, or whether it's going to be volunteer work, because I've been writing all this down myself, trying to figure out, you know, what I'm going to do next, as my kids are, one, another one's leaving this year, you know, Riley just went up to, moved up to campus just recently, because he'd been commuting, and then the next one goes to Tennessee in about six months, and then I'll have one left at home, so really just thinking about, you know, what's next, so I like, you know, how you are kind of setting him on the right path to what he wants to do next after all those years in prison and knowing that he can still make a difference.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, absolutely. We all have the ability to do that. And then sometimes we forget, like you were talking about your doctor. I met a young lady the other day, a young lady, and she's probably in her mid-40s, and I was speaking at a university. And she's the dean of admissions and teaches at the university, and she came up and introduced herself. I said, it's nice to meet you. And she said, you don't know who I am, do you? And I said, well, you just told me who you are. And she said, no, no, no, no. 1988, I'm a college freshman. I ran out of money. I was getting ready to drop out of the university and go back to my job as a waitress. I went to the mailbox there on campus to turn in my key. I had one envelope left there, and it was a letter from you telling me I got a scholarship. And I finished college and got a graduate degree, and now I'm dean of this university. And she said, it all started because you made that envelope happen. And I said, well, thank you, but no, you made all that happen. You did every bit of that. But I said, I will tell you, from time to time, it's a hassle running a scholarship, and you just gave me plenty of motivation for the next 10 years. I'm good to go.
SPEAKER 02 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 03 :
That is, that's, whew. Well, speaking of making an impact, there you did, but I want to tell you one other thing. You know my friend Dr. Cheryl Lynch, she's a professor and just a really neat lady, and she writes books as well, and she wrote me a note the other day, and she said, she I'm reading Jim Stovall's book, The Gift of a Day, 100 Doses of Winner's Wisdom. And this quote from Chapter 7, Crystallize What I Do. Could we do a segment on this sometime? I'd really like to talk about it because Jim has such a way with words. And here's what he said that brought me to tears. And the quote, I'll start with the whole thing, but then I'll highlight what you said that made her cry. Influence can be either good or bad, and it can be overt or subtle. We are all being influenced, and we are all influencing others every day. And here's the part that got her. If we learn something, we change our world. If we teach something, we change another person's world. But if we teach people to teach, we change the whole world. And she said that really encapsulates what she does as a professor, and that made her cry.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, that is good. I think we ought to laugh some every day, cry some every day, have good memories. And, you know, that needs to be a regular part of our day. And it's a good thing. And please tell her I am greatly honored.
SPEAKER 03 :
She's a good one. All right. So in your best life, we've got about a minute left. What's our takeaway here?
SPEAKER 05 :
Examine the life you're living right now. We spend very little time. We spend our lives worrying about stuff that happened in the past we can't do anything about or fretting about stuff in the future that may or may not even happen. And we never take a look at what am I doing right now and is this really what I want to do or did I just kind of end up here? You know, someone told me to get in that line and here I am. And really take it, do it on purpose and, you know, really start living your best life.
SPEAKER 03 :
And I love it. You always say, today's the day. And it says, you and I are much the same, and our best lives await. As you go through your day today, trade your ordinary life for your best life, because today's the day. And that's jimstovall.com, jimstovall.com. Thank you, my friend.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thank you. Be well.
SPEAKER 03 :
You be well. Brighton is tuned to the mighty 670 KLT Denver.
SPEAKER 01 :
Arc Thrift has all your winter needs. You will find a variety of gently used and new items ranging from personalized Christmas gifts to ski clothes and exercise equipment, including tons of winter clothing to bundle up in. There's no need to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes or household furnishings when you can go to Arc Thrift. They have sales every weekend, and you can find almost everything you need at any of their stores. You might discover that hidden gem or snazzy one-of-a-kind jacket you can't find anywhere else. They also have a new store in Littleton at 7951 South Broadway. It is their new hidden treasure with quality items everywhere throughout the store. Buying from Ark gives back to your community. And Ark always needs new donations, so find one of their donation centers or stores and make sure to shop the store once you donate. To find the nearest Ark Thrift near you, go to arkthrift.com.
SPEAKER 03 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. Well, I'm really excited about our next interview. Did you know that nearly 150,000 babies every year are born in the U.S. with birth defects, many with conditions so rare that some of the parents and clinicians have never even heard of them? approximately 5,000 fetal surgeries done worldwide to treat these birth defects. A quarter of them had been performed at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Dr. Scott Adzick is a fetal surgeon who specializes in treating these babies' unique needs. And today we're discussing advancements that will save even more lives. And we've had Dr. Adzik on the show before and over 30 years in TV news and radio news. I worked at NBC for many years. I've interviewed thousands of people. And Dr. Adzik is one of my all time favorite interviews, which he doesn't even know this. His work is fascinating and lifesaving. Welcome back, doctor.
SPEAKER 06 :
Geez, thanks for the introduction, Angie. That was awesome.
SPEAKER 03 :
You know, I'm fascinated by people's passion for what they do. And I asked you once, hey, what's satisfying about your work? You know, what gives you great, you know, satisfaction? And you said these kids come back for this like party that you have to celebrate the kids who've been saved, you know, in, you know, you've operated on them before they've even been born and you're like and here they are like teenagers and they're throwing the football and you know I mean not you're humble but they're alive because in some cases you did this surgery on them and you're watching all of these kids playing that really I mean you kind of help save their lives I mean that's so cool that's very cool and you're right and that sort of sounds a little bit like me I don't even need to do the interview I mean you the line look
SPEAKER 06 :
It is true that each year in June, actually this year is on June 1st, Sunday at the Philadelphia Zoo, you're invited. Oh, I'd love to go. I have a fetal family reunion and patients, children and their families come back. And last year we had over 3,000 people there. And that's usually for the most part just folks who are local and regional, not just who are national since the program was started. It was started in 1995. This is 30 years for us. We've had more than 33,000 pregnant women carrying babies with birth defects referred to us from all 50 states and from more than 70 countries. So that is inspiring. There's so many children whose babies likely could have died running around and growing up healthy and strong. Actually, there's nothing better. Nothing better.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, I want to talk a little bit about some of the advancements, because this is so fascinating to me anyway, that you can operate on a baby while it's still in the mom's tummy. I mean, to put it down to the basics of what you do, but I mean, it's so technical and they're so tiny. Talk about some of the birth defects that you can help via this surgery.
SPEAKER 06 :
Okay, well, there's a whole long list. and we've been fortunate to be pioneers in many of them. The two most common, though, I'll touch on are spina bifida and twin-twin transfusions. What's spina bifida? Well, you know, but I'll explain it to your listeners. That's where, in the developing fetus, the tissues around the spinal cord don't develop normally, so the spinal cord and the associated nerves are exposed to the in-utero environment, which is principally amniotic fluid, which in the third trimester is quite neurotoxic, destroy the developing spinal. These children, when they're born, they're likely to eventually be wheelchair-bound, have motor function problems, have hydrocephalus, fluid on the brain, require a ventricular peritoneal shunt to drain the fluid into the abdomen, and so on and so forth. We can now treat this condition in selected cases. Before birth, we've done about 500 of these operations since I think it was the first one in 1998. And the children who have the operation between 23 and 26 weeks gestation, in an operation, it's on average about 70 minutes. The outcomes, this is not a cure completely for spondylobifida. Children that have this before birth are much more likely to walk, have much better motor functions. Much less likely to have hydrocephalus, much less likely to need one of those shunt tubes. That's reporting and we're now doing, obviously, the long-term follow-up. The first case was in 1998. We're now doing the follow-up, which goes back almost 30 years.
SPEAKER 03 :
The condition is about... And I hate to interrupt you, but for people that aren't as familiar with it, I had a girlfriend who was very young when she had her first baby. She's now in her 20s. And they told her that her baby had spina bifida and said, when do you want to schedule the abortion, basically? And she was like, what? You know, she didn't even know what it was. And so she, you know, did some research, et cetera. And this kid is amazing. They have four, five kids. And she's like the light of their lives and helps with the other kids, et cetera. And, you know, she does have some issues with walking, et cetera, wears braces. But, you know, a high functioning mentally, you know, has graduated from high school and did really well. But I mean, that's the option that some people are given and they don't even know about you. So that's another reason I think what you do is so amazing. Like people who would have not kept their baby... we're letting people know that, hey, there's this other option where they can have a much better, possibly, quality of life if they have this fetal surgery. So I just wanted to throw that in there.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, and that's one of the reasons why we're doing the interview now, just for information so that folks can be knowledgeable and aware. The second most common operation we do is an operation for twin-twin transfusion syndromes called fetoscopic laser therapy. Well, what is that? Well, Twin-twin transfusion syndrome, TTTS for short, is identical twins in the uterus, of course, each within their own amniotic sac. As opposed to each of the two twins having their own placenta, which is the disc between the mother and the fetus's umbilical cord, these twins share a placental disc, one placenta. And the setup is that there's an imbalance of circulation such that there are abnormal crossing blood vessels from one side to the other, such that one twin, one identical twin, gets too much blood and develops congestive heart failure, and the other twin doesn't get enough blood and goes into kidney failure, and both twins will go on to die, unless you do fetoscopic laser therapy. So what is that? Well, the mother has sedation, sedation, It's a fetus coat placed through her abdominal wall, like laparoscopy, into the uterus. We visualize that the sona use a laser fiber that will coagulate or occlude those culprit vessels. And in most instances, both twins save.
SPEAKER 03 :
You know, the work you do is so highly specialized. And I was reading about an award you received last year. And in the article I was reading, it said that you trained over 50 other or helped, you know, train 50 other doctors. And it talked about other people. So not only are you doing this groundbreaking surgery, but, you know, in Philadelphia, you're also helping, you know, other younger people learn to do what you do, because obviously there will be a time when you're not doing this anymore. So I think that's pretty a pretty cool privilege as well.
SPEAKER 06 :
I think so, and it's an important part of our mission, of course, to train future professors who now run fetal programs throughout North America, South America, Europe, Far East. That's very gratifying, and it provides greater access for more patients, more unborn patients.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, I could talk to you for another half an hour, but I know that I've got a time limit here, so we've got another minute. Besides giving us the website, what else do you want us to know?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, the future's bright. Talked a little bit about the artificial womb, about in-utero gene editing. There's a lot of other stuff going on. Very, very, very exciting. That's three varies.
SPEAKER 02 :
Would you give us the website so we can get more information, doctor? And I'd love to have you back. You're always welcome on the good news.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thank you. Fetal surgery, one word, that.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, always a pleasure. Dr. Scott Adzik, always a pleasure to have you on fetalsurgery.chop.edu. Thank you so much. A real blessing to have you on the show.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thank you.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, he is amazing. I just, like I said in the intro, I just was so, you know, I've interviewed him before. And when he told me the story about the kids, you know, getting together for that, you know, yearly party to kind of celebrate their lives, seeing those kids toss the football and play and do all those things and just be amazing. living their lives because of this fetal surgery that he has done on them for various issues. Some of the heart issues are obviously life-saving and the spina bifida surgery is life-changing. So, wow, I just think what he does is... I mean, not many people can do what he does. All right. So, and how cool that he's training so many other physicians to, you know, do the kind of work that he does because it's not that common. All right. So I started this last week where I told you, you know, let's find our passions because I love to talk to all these people about how they, you know, got a passion for what they do in my 30 plus years now of interviewing thousands of people. I just love to hear why they chose what they do. And, You know, I've interviewed so many interesting people in, you know, politics or, you know, physicians always fascinate me. Their brains are so wonderful. And, you know, nonprofits, you know, my friend Lloyd Lewis that does work with kids with cognitive deficits. You know, kids are differently abled and, you know, maybe had a hard time getting through school. And, you know, he gives them benefits. jobs and they add so much to the organization. They have such big hearts. I mean, some of the kids that I've met with Down syndrome, his son has Down syndrome, are some of the most loving people I've ever met in my life. It's like they have an extra gene for love, you know, and joy and happiness. So then that became his passion, you know, working with You know, young people, you know, who he employs over 500 now ambassadors. So how do we find our passion? And I've told you repeatedly, I'm looking for my next thing after my kids are raised. So what am I going to do? Am I going to volunteer with pets? You know, so as I mentioned last week, so number one, reflect on your interests, you know, minor animals, kids, older people. um being active hiking you know and then identify your strengths so you know i love ymca the rockies maybe i go up there you know in the summers and i lead hikes i knew a guy who did that and you live up there and you don't really get paid much you just kind of get free room and board and spend the summer but you know ymca the rockies and that's always kind of intrigued me how fun would that be um and then keep you know besides your strengths and you know what you're interested in what do you spend your time on so pay attention to what you do in your free time you know what are you doing in your free time are you exercising are you Are you lifting? Are you spending time with your pets? Are you going for walks with your dogs? Are you volunteering at the local elementary school? Are you helping kids learn how to read? Are you volunteering? Like, you know, volunteering might be a great way too to figure out your next even career path, right? Because you can volunteer in an area of interest. Internships, I think, are great ways to really get your foot in the water. My daughter wants to be an attorney, and I'm like, you should definitely do an internship at a law office and really be with these attorneys and see what they do before you make that kind of a commitment to that kind of education. Explore new things. Try new activities. Meet new people. Connections. Meeting people is so important. Just getting out there, chatting with people. You can even ask for connections on social media. Hey, does anybody know anybody that works with animals? Does anybody know anyone that works in law? And people will connect you with people. It's amazing what they do. I just had a really sweet friend of my daughter's move to Colorado Springs and she was homeschooled and really involved in her church. And I knew a girl that I met at 10, who's now close to 30. And I knew she was really involved in kids ministry, particularly working with young women. And I knew she'd have connections for her. So I just randomly connected them on text. And hopefully they're going to be able to, you know, the older girls can be able to connect the younger girl to some other Christians in her community. So I'm very hopeful for that. And then journaling. I mentioned that last week to write down your thoughts, your feelings, your direction. I think sometimes we get direction when we kind of do prayer and journaling to kind of get an idea of, you know, where we want to go. And writing for me really helps me get those ideas out and put them on paper. And that kind of guides me. But then speaking of guidance, seek out someone, a mentor, a friend. I used to have an accountability partner, which was another newswoman in Los Angeles. She's still the main anchor at Fox in L.A., And we would hold each other accountable every week. We'd go over, you know, what were your goals? Did you follow through on what you wanted to do? Did you do blah, blah, blah? So and then think about your values, you know, what might work for you, you know, in terms of your own values and what's important to you. So, yeah, all of that. And, you know, of course, fears like get rid of those. Just go for it if you want to try something new. All right. This is Angie Austin. Thanks so much for listening to the good news.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
