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What are the keys to a successful marriage? How can couples stay faithful to each other and remain happy for 50 or 60 years? On today’s edition of Family Talk, Dr. James Dobson talks with author Cathe Laurie, the wife of Pastor Greg Laurie. Dr. Dobson and Cathe discuss her role as women’s director at Harvest Christian Fellowship, and her book, As I See It. Genesis 2:24 says, That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
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Listen as Dr. James Dobson and Mary Crowley discuss the challenges women face, such as low self-esteem and the quest for self-fulfillment in a world full of distractions. Mary emphasizes the importance of confidence and a supportive community, sharing insights on finding personal success beyond societal norms. Through personal anecdotes and scripture-based wisdom, this episode aims to inspire women to discover God's plan for them and to thrive in every area of life.
SPEAKER 03 :
Welcome everyone to Family Talk. It's a ministry of the James Dobson Family Institute supported by listeners just like you. I'm Dr. James Dobson and I'm thrilled that you've joined us.
SPEAKER 01 :
Well, welcome to Family Talk, the broadcast division of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute. I'm Roger Marsh. And whether you're listening at home or on the go, you are in for something special today. We are bringing you a classic conversation featuring Mary Crowley, author of the book Women Who Win, Who We'll be right back. $400 million in business, powered by thousands of women working from their homes. The company became so successful that when they held a celebration, they filled an arena with 10,000 of their top saleswomen, and they featured Bob Hope and Billy Graham as special guests. But Mary's secret wasn't just business savvy. It was putting priorities in the right order. Mary started every company meeting by reading Scripture, often turning to the Proverbs for wisdom about leadership. And here's an interesting connection. Mary Kay Ash, who co-founded Mary Kay Cosmetics with a similar home party business model, was actually Mary Crowley's sister-in-law. Now, in her book, Women Who Win, Mary addresses a challenge many women still face today, and that is a lack of self-confidence. Her message is both simple and powerful. You are designed for fulfillment, and God has a plan for your life. Mary Crowley believed that by honoring God and serving others, women could find success both at home and in business. So let's listen now as Mary talks about those timeless principles with our own Dr. James Dobson on this special edition of Family Talk.
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I would like to say this is one of the most generous women I have ever met. She supports Christian causes all across this country. And your generosity is legendary, Mary. So you have taken what God has given you and shared it with so many causes that you believe in. But where did all that start? How did you get into business?
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Well, I got in business 27 years ago. Actually, I'd been in direct selling business before that, but now my kids were grown and I saw a need. There was a need for American women to decorate their homes with excitement and with care. And from a coordinated line of accessories, I found that women were not sure what to do. And I'd worked for furniture companies before. And so we started the business to give women an opportunity to work from their homes, be there when the kids got home from school, and still use their creative genius, which God gave every woman. Every woman is a genius. Some just don't know it yet or haven't developed yet. And this is the idea of the business, and we had twin goals. One was to honor God, because I knew by then that if we didn't honor Him, we would not be successful. Now, that doesn't mean that people who do not belong to the Lord, and there are lots of successful people, quote, in the world, they can be successful. But if I've made a profession of faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and my Master, that I cannot be successful if I do not honor Him. Somehow along the line, he'll let me fall flat on my face. And I've done that a few times, too. I believe that's true. Absolutely. So it had to honor him. And then it had to bless and serve people. The whole world wants service. They can buy products. They can buy merchandise. They can buy lots of things. but we want genuine, caring, personal service. And that was our goal, to do that. And in so doing, to help the woman who was showing and selling our accessories to find fulfillment in herself and to have a fellowship of her sisters. You know, America needs places where people can go to belong, to find a support team. When our great-grandmothers came across the prairies, They had quilting bees and canning bees, and they had support teams for one another in their difficult times and in their joyous times. So we have built support teams all across America. And the fellowship is as important as the salesmanship. And so that's how we started. We started from our garage, very, very small. My son and my daughter and myself and a few friends, people that invested and believed in us. And it's grown beyond my wildest imagination, and it's pretty wild.
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Let's address some comments to the woman who is at home, where you were when you started. I don't know what your circumstances were, but let's suppose that she feels somewhat unfulfilled and somewhat frustrated. She wants to do something significant with her life. Maybe the kids now are in the teen years, and she knows they're going to be gone before too long, and she's wondering what now. What do you say to her? How does she begin to put it all together and find out who she is? Does that necessarily mean she's got to be successful in business like you are in order to find yourself?
SPEAKER 02 :
No. Again, I come back to the measure of success for each person. Success is a moving target. When you've got little kids at home, sometimes it's just getting through the day. You know, and then as they go into school and you begin to have other time, and then it may be reading good books and getting yourself, your mind activated again. Maybe it's starting an exercise program, whatever it is, that the measure of success that makes you feel fulfilled, it's different for everybody. And each person has to learn to define their own. Otherwise, they are always trying to
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Why do you think that moving target is so difficult for American women to hit? Why do you think so many American women are frustrated?
SPEAKER 02 :
Because they are trying to find their measure of fulfillment in what they're hearing, either on TV or maybe radio or reading in some magazine, instead of trying to find out what God's game plan is for them. I heard a wonderful interview with Walter Payton not long ago, and he defined something that was so great. The interviewer asked him, is your measure of success 100 yards gained in a game, as is the measure of success for a ball game for a running back? And he said, no, my measure of success is following the game plan consistently. designed for that game to the very best of my ability. And I thought that was a wonderful way to illustrate what everybody, God has a game plan for my life, for your life, for every woman out there with little kids or big kids or no kids. And if somebody tried to just copy mine, they might get very frustrated. I have a high energy level, and I can do a lot of things. Others might not. We're all made differently. Okay.
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Could it be that God's game plan for a particular woman would be to stay home and take care of three little kids under six years of age for this period of her life? Society is telling her that that's nobody's game plan. Could that be God's game plan for some people?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, he says that in his word, and then he also says that older women should help the younger women. And I think this is where, again, I was talking about a support team. A lot of young women with little children are feeling so alienated and so unsupported because maybe her parents or his parents do not live close. Society has not built a support team around them in our today's world. that's where they need to find a support team. They have to have fellowship with other women, and maybe it's a Bible class, maybe it's a home interior show, maybe it's coming in part-time, or maybe it's simply finding other group of women who have uplifting, motivating things to do. put in their hours otherwise sometimes we do recruit mothers with young kids because she's sitting there watching the daytime dramas and living in a fantasy world and that is no good for her and so if we can enlighten her and lift her up and give her something to do part-time that will fulfill her desires and create you know we try to develop her creative talents women want to be accepted understood and developed They don't want to stay static. They want to be developed. So whatever. If you're sitting out there and you're thinking, well, I'm not being developed, then you find something that develops your mind, your spirit, your being. And don't sit there and get caught in that daytime drama trap of fantasy world. That's the worst thing.
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You're talking about soap opera.
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I am, I am. Well, that's terrible.
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It really is.
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Well, but that's what happens to a lot of women who are home with little kids, Dr. Dobson. That's what happens to them. And so then just being at home with the children does not minister to their spirit or does not even help them to be good mothers unless they must have a plan to be a successful mother and a successful wife and woman.
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Mary, what do you say to the person who is very frustrated in their present job? Do you have any advice to a person who just feels they're in a dead-end trap? Change it. Absolutely. But it costs money. I'm making more money than I could make someplace else. Yeah, but it's not making you happy, so what good is it? But I've got to feed my family.
SPEAKER 02 :
Find another way to feed them. No, it isn't really worth it if people are frustrated in their jobs unless there is a real way that they can change the frustration in that job. If it's their attitude, then they better change the attitude. But if it's the job itself and there is no hope of fulfillment, then change the job. Life's too short and too wonderful to waste it on frustration. Now, we'll have frustrations in all jobs. People need to realize that. There are days of frustration in any job, and you can't expect a frustration-free job. But at the end of the day, there must be something that you feel that you've accomplished in the lives of other people. or in going forward in your measure of success or something that you have done that is an accomplishment at the end of every day. Oh, there'll be days you think, well, what did I accomplish today? I've just not even gotten through the mail. I didn't get through the dishes. I didn't get through there too many. You know, we live in the day of distractomania. But you can find something, some life that you touched, something that you did that made the doing worthwhile.
SPEAKER 03 :
I think you've put your finger on really the critical issue having to do with the support team. I've tried to write and talk about that because I find many women know they need that but don't know how to go and get it. I was counseling with a young mother just the other day in my office, and she said, I don't have anybody. I don't have any close friends. The one I had turned her back on me. And this is a very bright woman who's a schoolteacher and is very capable, very verbal, very able to get out and meet the world. Oh, I need to recruit her. And yet I find many women like that don't know how to take the first step. There is a lack of confidence perhaps to go outside that front door and maybe somebody will hurt me or reject me and it's just easier or seems easier to pull in and let the four walls collapse. I guess you're really addressing that problem.
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We do. We address that problem a great deal. And you hit it when you said lack of confidence. One time I took a poll all across America from thousands of women, asked them what were their three greatest problems personality-wise, society-wise, business-wise, or family-wise. And north, south, east, and west, there was no names on the papers. It was lack of self-confidence, low esteem. I was just floored. Here's the greatest nation in the earth, the highest educational level for all women, the greatest opportunities. So I set about my goal is to help every woman I meet or that hear the sound of my voice to feel better about herself, to realize you are designed for life. God has a plan for your life, but I fully believe that they cannot find it till they find that absolute, till they realize that God is their creator, he is their maker, and then they begin to understand what is the character of God. He loves, he cares, he's just, he's fair, he has great things for us. And once you find that, you see, people often say to me, well, haven't you been discriminated against as a woman? Well, maybe I just didn't have sense enough to know it. But you see, if somebody tries to put me down, it diminishes them, not me. My self-worth is tied up in the character of God himself. And once any woman finds that out, she's redeemed. She's free to be herself and then free to have the confidence to say to somebody, look, I need some help. I want to get to know some people. And how do you turn people with low self-esteem into good salespeople? Well, first of all, they have to learn what selling really is. They have an idea that selling is going out and talking and convincing people. No, it is not. True selling is serving a need in that person. And women are very good at understanding that once you find what this person needs and help them fill the need. Women are in the habit of filling needs of children, of husbands, of You know, they're nurturers by very nature. And once they realize that it's a natural for them to be able to find the need and to fill it and to help the person in a serving way, they realize that it isn't something big out there that they have to learn, but it's something that they already have, a natural opportunity. ability to do. We just need to develop that ability and help them see what it really is. It's a matter of learning what selling really is. Most people think of it as something that you talk and that you convince. No, it's finding out person to person what her needs and desires and likes are, what she needs in her life, what she needs in her home, and then I can help you find that. I can help you Express your love for your family on the wall or in the figurines or the way that you even arrange a bouquet of flowers. And women are natural nurturers and natural helpers in this area. So once she finds out that she already has the natural ability, we just help her develop it.
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You know, my book, What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women, is based on this same thing we're talking about here, where I ask over 10,000 women to rank order the sources of depression in their lives. And it blew me away, too, that the number one source of depression in young, middle-class, seemingly happily married Christian women was low self-esteem, 50%. of the original test group that I based this little study on put that number one, and 80% put it in the top five. So this pervasive lack of confidence, lack of self-worth, is extremely widespread in our culture. And I think, again, it comes back to television to some degree, where every woman feels like she's got to be beautiful and young and successful and the object of somebody's great romantic love and attention in order to feel acceptable and to feel the confidence necessary to cope with life. And unfortunately, that support system just often isn't there.
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Well, and not everybody is young and slim and gorgeous.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, unfortunately. What do you do, Mary, when you're looking eye to eye with a very powerful male corporate executive who has the authority to move great numbers of people and so on? You being a woman, do you look eye to eye with him?
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Oh, absolutely. Oh, I thoroughly enjoy him. I'm on lots of boards where I'm the only woman. But I don't come in and try to be a pushy female. Let me be sure that I do say that. I am there to make a contribution, not to compete. And with that complete positive attitude, I never have any difficulty there. Because God made us to have special roles and special talents and special abilities. And I can greet and meet and deal with people Corporate executives are presidents. Well, that's now.
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You've got 39,000 people on your staff. What about when you had one? What about when you were beginning? Did you have that kind of confidence, or did it grow through the years?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, part of it has grown through the years, but I always had a lot of confidence. Well, the good Lord born me on April Fool's Day. That was wonderful, because most people worry about making a fool of themselves, and they won't do things that are going to make a fool. I didn't have to worry about that. You'd already gotten the title. I'd already gotten the title, yeah. So... But part of it comes from the fact that, well, my grandparents taught me to... place the bible as one of you know our priorities not long ago i gave a speech to young people and i took a tv guide and a bible with me and i held them up i said all of you have these two books in your home which one do you refer to the most next week dr alan redpath from england recently spoke and he said in england we used to base our morality on the bible now we base it on tv And I thought, you know, that's exactly what's happening in America, really. And so in looking at the Bible, God is who he says he is in his book. I am who he says I am in his book. And since he's who he is and I'm who he says I am, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
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Who does he say you are, Mary?
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He says that I am a child of his. If I believe in Jesus Christ, I'm joint heirs with him. Wow! Wow! What kind of a promise that is. And then, oh, you know, many, many places he says, you talk about giving. Over in Thessalonians where he says, if you will give and share that all grace will be given in all situations and all your needs will be met. Now, that is a pretty powerful promise. And I've been claiming those for years. Tithing to me is the secret of it. You see, what I can make is not for me to be hoarding. It's a channel. It's a channel. It's kind of like forgiveness. Forgiveness is not given to us in a cup. It's given to us in a pipeline. So what I receive is to be given. You can't out-give God. He just multiplies it. I am just amazed at Him.
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What do you say to the people who just feel like they can't tithe? Mary, they just can't pay their bills now, and they are $75 short every week, and just isn't enough to go around, and the kids need shoes, and there's a hole in the roof, and we're trying to put our oldest boy into Christian schools. How in the world am I going to give any money to the Lord's kingdom?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I go back to when I started tithing, and it was about 40 years ago. And I was in just that same situation. I had two kids. I was a single parent. I was raising two kids. The war was on. I was working for an insurance company. My income had not risen like other people's had. It was pledge time at the First Baptist Church in Dallas, and I always pledged and gave, but I didn't think I could tithe. So, particularly night, though, the kids were asleep, and I was wrestling with that, and I was telling the Lord all the reasons I could not tithe. Hmm. And I thought of that verse in Proverbs, you know, but is the Lord convinced? He speaks to us through our creative genius mind that he gives us. Well, Mary, you're not doing such a hot job of it yourself. Why don't you give me a chance? I said, okay, Lord, I check tithe. It's your problem. It's your management of my life. I'm going to bed. So then I had to explain to our housekeeper and the kids, you know, we had to take it out first because if you don't take it out first, it won't be there. And we ate oatmeal quite a bit there in the beginning, and some of them would grumble and everything. Something happens. I can't explain it. I don't understand God's mathematics. But within two months' time, I was able to get out of debt. Behind the eight ball wasn't debt per se, but just get caught up. From that day till this, we didn't suddenly have a lot of money. But something did happen. And I can guarantee that if you give God's management of your money, he has management of your life. Things change. It really is true. I cannot explain it. It really is true. I challenge people. I've challenged. I teach classes. I told you of people, 150 people single by death or divorced. A lot of them have aging parents and a lot of problems. I challenge them every year. I say, okay, you tithe for six months. And at the end of six months, if you're not better off than you are now, I'll pick up the tab for the difference.
SPEAKER 03 :
You just said that to three million people.
SPEAKER 02 :
That's right. And I have never yet anybody take me up on it.
SPEAKER 03 :
Jesus spoke more about money than any other subject. So it must be extremely important to our spiritual welfare as well as to our financial welfare.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, it's exciting.
SPEAKER 03 :
Mary, we have a great deal of love for you, as I've said, for the kind of person you are, what you represent, not what you give, but who you are. You love the Lord, and it shows in everything that you do. And it's been a pleasure meeting your staff. Some of your people came with you today, and they're sitting in the gallery over there watching us broadcast today. And I just hope that you'll come back, continue doing the great work that you're doing. And I just trust the Lord will be very close to you in this coming year.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you. It's been a joy to be here. And I guess I would like to say to every person out there, trust Him, try Him, prove Him. He will never let you down.
SPEAKER 03 :
You really mean that?
SPEAKER 02 :
I really mean that.
SPEAKER 03 :
Have you found that true of your entire lifetime?
SPEAKER 02 :
Absolutely. See, I've learned that Christianity is not a way of doing certain things. It's a certain way of doing all things. And I can absolutely say, without any doubt at all, if you really trust Him... He has a better plan for your life than you can have for yourself. And I am amazed at what he's done with one little orphan gal.
SPEAKER 03 :
Bless you, Mary. Our prayers and our thoughts will be with you. Thank you.
SPEAKER 01 :
Christianity is not a way of doing certain things. It's a certain way of doing all things. What a great thought to wrap up today's classic program featuring the late Mary Crowley here on Family Talk. Now, you've been listening to Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk and a timeless conversation between Dr. Dobson and his guest, Mary Crowley, about finding purpose, building confidence, and trusting God's plan for your life. Mary's remarkable journey from a single mother to building a multi-million dollar business, all while putting God first, continues to inspire women even today. By the way, if you missed any part of this classic program, or if you'd like to share it with someone who really needs a word of encouragement today, visit drjamesdobson.org, or you can find the program easily on the Family Talk app. Here at the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute, we are committed to helping you and your family grow closer to God and each other. But these daily broadcasts and resources are only made possible through the generous support of friends like you who share our vision for strong, faith-filled families. Your tax-deductible donation today will help us continue broadcasting messages of hope and practical wisdom to millions of listeners in America and all over the world. To make a secure donation online, go to drjamesdobson.org. Or if you prefer, you can send your donation through the mail. Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk, P.O. Box 39000, Colorado Springs, Colorado, the zip code 80949. And for more daily inspiration and biblical guidance, I encourage you to explore our reading plans in the Bible app by YouVersion. You can choose from 48 different plans, 24 on marriage and 24 on parenting. Each one contains three lessons to encourage growth in your relationships. These brief devotionals are perfect for busy parents or couples who want to grow together in their faith. Just open the Bible app on your phone or mobile device, search for Dr. James Dobson, and start your first reading plan today. Well, I'm Roger Marsh and from all of us here at Family Talk, we are so grateful that you've joined us for today's classic program. Be sure to join us again next time for another edition of Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk. This has been a presentation of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute.
Pastor Rick teaches that, from the beginning, God’s plan has been to make you like his Son, Jesus—this is your destiny. The Bible describes Jesus as “the exact likeness of God,” “the visible image of the invisible God,” and “the exact representation of his being” (2 Corinthians 4:4 GNT, Colossians 1:15 NLT, Hebrews 1:3 NIV).
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Hey there, everybody, and welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. And whether today is your first time tuning in or if you're a regular listener, we're really excited that you're here. Well, today, Pastor Rick is continuing his series called Discover Your Destiny. So get ready to explore the practical steps to grow in all areas of your life. spirit, mind, body, relationships, and even your career. So stick with us as we uncover God's incredible plan for your future. And here's Rick with the final part of a message called, How Can I Know My Destiny?
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Number three. Now the third thing that Esther did, she not only got disturbed, and she not only looked at what God had given her, but you've got to take the time to hear God's call on my life. I must take the time to hear God's call on my life. You need a retreat. You need a getaway. You need to get away for at least a day, maybe two or three days, where you sit down and you listen to God. You sit down, you shut up, you be quiet, and you pray and you plan and you think about the next 10 years of your life. And you think, what does God want me to do, given my gifts and given my passions and the needs I see around me? What does God want me to do? And you're not gonna do this on your own. So you gotta have like a little retreat time. Now notice this, Mordecai, who's her adopted father, they all know about this plot to kill all of the Jewish people. And in verse 13 and 14 of Esther 4, it says, Mordecai sent this word to Esther. Do not think because you're in the king's house that you alone of all Jews will escape. For if you remain silent, and he said, you can't remain silent. If you remain silent at this time, he said, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place. In other words, Mordecai said, I've got faith in God. He's not gonna let this God's chosen people be eliminated from the face of the earth. He's not gonna happen. So God will provide, but he says, if you don't do anything about it, you and your father's family will perish. Besides, he says, who knows? but that you have come to this position for such a time as this. Now remember, Esther is a 20 year old, in her 20s, young, poor, orphaned, Jewish girl. And she's now the queen of Persia. And Mordecai's going, Esther, you think this is by accident? I don't think so. Do you not think that God puts you in this position for such a time as this? This is no accident. And don't just think you can ignore these disturbing trends out there in society. You cannot remain silent. You gotta do something about it. Now I wanna tell you, that's not just true of Esther. It's true of you. Some of you young women, you're exactly where God put you for the reason he put you there. Some of you young guys, you're exactly where God put you. It doesn't matter what your age is. You are where you are for such a time as this. And God brought you to Saddleback Church not to sit, soak, and sour, but to make a difference with your life. He has a destiny for your life. God says, I brought you to this place, and I brought you to this time, and I want you to hear my call. Now you gotta take the time to hear God's call on my life. Now God has called everyone. We've talked about this before. A lot of people think God only calls preachers and missionaries and nuns and priests. Those are the called people. No, everybody is called. Your calling is your vocation. As I told you, it's this Latin word, voce, which means vocal. Your vocation is your call, your voice. Everybody has a vocation. Everybody has a calling of God. God has called every one of you to make a difference with your life. Some of you are not picking up the phone. Now here's the point. You don't call God. He calls you. You don't just go, what would I like to do with my life? Sorry, you don't get that option. Unless you don't want any blessing. God says, no, no, I created you for a purpose. I have a vision and values and I have a purpose, plan and a destiny for your life. And God calls you and you gotta pick up the phone. I wish what we were doing were just a matter of life and death. That'd be easy, but it's not. It's more important than life or death because eternity is in the balance, heaven and hell. Jesus talked more about hell than he did about heaven. They're real. We're not just talking about helping people now. We're talking about their eternal destinies. It's bigger than life or death. And God has brought you to this place just like he brought Esther to her place, including the good and the bad that happened. I'm sure it was no fun going and having sex with a king you didn't even love. and knowing that the night before and the night after you, it's gonna be somebody else. But God said, you know what, I can even use that. I can even use date rape. I can bring good out of anything. Esther 4, verse 15. Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai. Go and gather together all the Jews who are in Susa. They're the capital. and fast for me. Said, I want you to find everybody you can, get everybody who's Jewish, and I get everybody to fast for me, because I'm gonna have to go confront the king. And I know that this is a scary thing. She's going, you know what? First place, it's against the law for me to go to him. You only go to the king if he invites you. It's against the law for me to take the initiative and go to the king. If you read the story, she said, in fact, he hadn't called for me in 30 days, so I haven't had any contact with him in a month. So I don't know if he still loves me or what. And number two, I'm gonna have to reveal that I'm Jewish, which means I'm gonna keep it a secret from my husband. And number three, I'm gonna ask him to publicly renounce a decree he's already signed and he's gonna look foolish. to reverse a command. So I'm gonna probably die for this. I'm gonna probably lose my life for this. I'm taking my life in my own hands. So she says, you go gather all the Jews who are in Susa and fast for me. And do not eat or drink for three days or night or day. And I and my maids will fast as you do. And when this is done, Then I'll go to the king. She's saying, before I initiate any confrontation with the king, which is no light matter and can cost me my life, I'm gonna have to have a little retreat. And I'm gonna need to get off by myself and I'm gonna fast and I'm gonna pray and I'm gonna think and I'm gonna plan out my words and I'm gonna give some serious time to my destiny. Now, Esther does two things that you're going to need for your destiny in the next 10 years. Number one, just like Esther, you're going to need all the support you can get. She said, go get everybody you can to pray for me. That's why you must be in a small group. Because you cannot fulfill your destiny on your own. We get well in community, we serve in community, we share in community. God meant for us to be in community. The very first thing God said to man, it is not good for men to be alone. Whether you marry or not is irrelevant. You have to be in a family. You have to be connected. You have to be in community. She says, get everybody praying for me. You're going to need that. And the second thing Esther did, and you're going to need to, you're going to need some time alone. You're going to need to go on a retreat, at least an overnighter, where you get alone. Because if I tell you, go home and make these lists of all the things that you're gifted in and make a list of all the things you care about, you know what? You're not going to do it. You're gonna walk out of here and you're gonna forget it and you're not gonna do it and you're gonna come back next week and it still won't be done. So I'm going to force you to do it. And in the next three years, I want everybody in this church to take a retreat. a life planning retreat to plan goals in all the key areas of your life. What are my goals financially? What are my goals for my family? What are my goals for my personal life? What are my goals for my health? What are my goals in learning? And I'm gonna help you. Nothing becomes dynamic till it becomes specific. Now, number four, one last thing. The fourth thing you have to do is what Esther did is that is you must make a faith commitment. You must make a faith commitment. The Bible says without faith it's impossible to please God. The Bible says according to your faith it will be done unto you. The Bible says the just shall live by faith. The Bible says all things are possible to him who believes. Now Esther says I know this is scary and I know it's a big risk and I'm scared to death to take this initiative to go to the king and tell him I'm Jewish and ask him to rescind a stupid decree that a bad guy got him to approve. But It's the right thing to do, so I'm gonna do it. She's an amazing woman. Now in Esther 4.16, she makes this faith commitment to do the thing that she's most afraid of. She says, and when this is done, you know, my three-day retreat, we've all prayed, we've all fasted, and I've thought through where I'm going. When this is done, I will go, that's a faith commitment, I will go to the king, even though it's against the law. And if I perish, I perish.
SPEAKER 02 :
What a woman. What a woman. What an amazing woman. If I perish, I perish.
SPEAKER 03 :
But I'm gonna die doing the right thing. Friend, you're not ready to live till you know what you're ready to die for. You cannot live until you have qualified and clarified in your heart what you're willing to die for. You're not ready to live the next 10 years. If you don't know what you're willing to die for, you're not living, you're just existing. Not knowing what's worth dying for makes life motion without meaning. You gotta know what's worth giving your life for. On the other hand, when you understand your destiny and you really get it, it grabs you. That calling grabs you and you go after it with total abandonment. And you say, if it takes my life, it takes my life. And if I perish, I perish. But I'm gonna die doing what God tells me to do. Now I want you to write this sentence down. I can only manage what I measure. Would you write that down? I can only manage what I measure. If you don't have measurable goals, it's just a wish, it's a dream, it's a hope, but it's not a real goal. And if you don't set some measurable goals for the next three years, in phase one of Decade of Destiny, to measure, that you can measure, you're not gonna be any different in three years, much less in 10 years. And so I'm gonna help you set some spiritual goals and I want them to be specific. And I'm telling you right now that on the last Sunday of this two month campaign, I'm going to ask you, I'm gonna challenge you to make four faith commitments. You don't have to write these down. But you'll say, four faith commitments. Number one, what do I wanna learn in the next four years, in the next three years? My goal for you is that you'll be smarter, as I said, smarter and sharper, and you'll be more skilled and more successful. What do I wanna learn? What am I gonna commit to become in the next three years? What am I gonna commit to contribute in the next three years? What am I gonna commit to do with my life in the next three years? These three year faith commitments come up in another month, because all the messages are worthless. If we don't make it measurable, I don't need it, you need it. It's not for me, it's for your benefit. So you can measure your progress over the three years. Jesus said it like this on the screen. According to your faith, it will be done to you. You know, every morning, I sit on the side of my bed and I pray a prayer. And that prayer, I pray the same prayer every day. It's a little prayer I've just written and memorized. And then I say the words to a song. I don't sing it because I can't sing, especially in the morning. But I say this as I'm sitting on the bed. I don't even get out of bed until I've done this. I say, Lord, Lord, I offer my life to you. Everything I've been through, use it for your glory. Lord, I offer my days to you. Lift up my praise to you as a living sacrifice. Lord, I offer you my life. I say it every day before I get out of bed. I think this is the attitude Esther had when she knew that going to her husband, the King of Persia would likely mean her head would be cut off because first she did admit she's Jewish. And second, she's asking him to reverse a decree that would make him seem foolish. But Esther says, Lord, I offer my life to you. Everything I've been through. My parents died. I was in the cattle call of a harem. Everything I've been through, use it for your glory. Lord, I offer my days to you. Lift up my praise to you as a living sacrifice. Lord, I offer you my life. And if I perish... I perish. And because she was willing to lay it on the line for the destiny God had planned for her, the Jewish nation was saved. You see, you wouldn't be saved without Esther. Because if the Jews had been annihilated, there would be no Jesus the Messiah. And you would be hopeless. That's the impact of Esther. Let's bow our heads. Would you pray this prayer in your heart? Dear God, I want the rest of my life to be the best of my life, I want my life to count. I don't wanna live for myself, I wanna live for you and for the destiny you've created for me. Help me to recognize the gifts that you've put in my life. Not just the assets, but even the liabilities, the limitations, the handicaps. even the hurts, and to realize that even those are part of the plan to get me where you want me to be in the time and place and what you want me to do with my life. Help me to identify the needs that stir my heart. To realize that when I see something, I go, that's wrong. That needs to be corrected. Somebody ought to do something about that. That you're speaking to me. Help me to take time to hear your call, to be quiet, to settle down. Lord, without even knowing when I'm gonna do it, I commit right now to going on retreat. And in the weeks ahead, help me to consider what faith commitments you want me to make in the key areas of my life. If you've never opened your life to Jesus Christ, regardless of your religious background, say, Jesus Christ, please make yourself real to me. I don't understand it all, but if you're real, I open up my life to you. I want to know you. I want to learn to trust you and love you. I open up my life to your plan and purpose, dear God. I want to fulfill your destiny that you have for me. In your name I pray. Amen. Hi, everybody. This is Rick, and I hope you enjoyed today's broadcast. You know, if you just prayed that prayer for the very first time or you just recommitted your life to Jesus again today, would you let me know about it? There's something real about sharing your commitment. So write me, Rick, at PastorRick.com and say, Rick, I prayed that prayer of commitment. I gave my life to Christ, and I'll send you some material that'll help you on your journey with Jesus, and I'll also pray for you. God bless you.
SPEAKER 01 :
What a life-giving message from Pastor Rick. Now let's join Rick with today's offer. Thanks for listening today.
SPEAKER 03 :
You know, honestly, I never paid much attention to my health until I had a little epiphany a few years back when I baptized over 800 people in a single day by immersion. Now looking at myself and everybody that I was baptizing, it was real clear that we all needed to get healthy. So I put together a team of nationally known doctors to help me develop a program for our church. I called it the Daniel Plan, based on the passage in the book of Daniel, where Daniel has a contest with King Nebuchadnezzar on who can be the healthiest. The Daniel Plan is centered on five essentials that will help you become healthier. faith, food, fitness, focus, and friends. There are a lot of diet plans out there that deal with food and fitness, but the secret sauce in the Daniel plan is focus, learning to have your mind renewed, friends, learning to grow in community, and faith, trusting God's power rather than willpower. You know, we found that when individuals addressed health issues in each of these key areas, they are transformed. In fact, in the first year of the Daniel Plan, over 15,000 people from 190 countries participated, and the results were life-changing. In fact, our own church, Saddleback Church, lost over a quarter of a million pounds in one year. Can you imagine that? What did it do for our church? It increased our energy. We started sleeping better. It reduced our need for medication. The whole church was healthier. Now, the Daniel Plan has recently been released in a book format, and I want you to have a copy of this book today so you can start getting healthier now. And I'll send you a hardcover copy of the Daniel Plan book as a very special thank you for your gift to this ministry.
SPEAKER 01 :
Just go to PastorRick.com to get your copy of this great resource. That's PastorRick.com. Or you can just text the word HOPE to 70309. That's the word HOPE to 70309. And thank you so much for your support. Your gift to Daily Hope really helps us share the hope of Christ with people all over the world. Be sure to join us next time as we look into God's Word for our Daily Hope. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily Hope and your generous financial support.
Explore the liberating notion of spiritual freedom as we examine the apostle Paul's message to choose righteousness over the dominion of sin. As we analyze Romans, discover how being alive in Christ offers a transformative perspective, granting believers strength to resist temptations. We delve into the ongoing battle within, how faith influences our choices, and the hope of peace found in Christ's victorious kingdom. Embark on this journey of faith and uplift your spirit with eternal truths that redefine our earthly existence.
SPEAKER 01 :
So then we're beginning to see the wide range of thought that Paul is floating in, thinking in, when he tells us, Likewise, you also reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. We don't look inside and say, are we dead indeed to sin? We look outside to the kingdom of God and say, whose kingdom is victorious? Is it Christ's or is it Satan's? Well, obviously, Satan has been defeated. He was defeated in heaven before Christ, before he was ever sent to the earth, if you're in doubt about that, read Revelation 12, and he was defeated at the cross. And this is all beautiful to us as Christians because we have to keep our faith alive by reckoning ourselves in the right kingdom. Likewise, you also then reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin. That is, you are no longer alive to the sin kingdom of Adam. Now I grant you. that we're very much embroiled in the sin kingdom of Adam. We live in it. We experience its weakness, its brokenness, the death that it brings, the sorrow, the suffering, and so on. But as Christians, by faith, we recognize that Christ has beaten that kingdom, has defeated it, and we now live in the victorious kingdom of Christ. So our faith is telling us one thing, even though our bodies may be telling us another. So then Paul, to drive this home, brings verse 12, which is really interesting, and I'll tell you what the interest is in a minute. Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey it in its lusts. Now, as far as I can recall, as far as I understand the book of Romans, this is the first time Paul is talking now about what goes on inside of us. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lusts. But notice how he teaches what goes on inside of us. He's not saying what's going on inside psychologically, but he's saying what is going on outside of us which affects us psychologically. Why do I say that and how do I know that? Because he says do not let sin reign inside You see, this truth about reigning again is so very, very important and vital. Paul is talking about kingdoms. He never uses the word kingdom, but he uses phraseology that only belongs to the kingdom, reigning and dominion. Sin shall not reign, or the law doesn't reign, or wrath doesn't reign, all of these statements. Why is he doing that? because he's recognizing that Jesus Christ is the second Adam who has brought a new kingdom into the reality of our experience by faith alone. That kingdom will, of course, reign ultimately in the world. But he says, do not let it reign. Well, now that says something, doesn't it? Do not let it, that is, do not allow it. In other words, the kingdom of Adam still exists, but we have the liberty of faith to determine whether it shall command or demand our minds. No, we're not going to let it. Well, we do let it often, don't we? We just get fed up and we want to sin or we fall or we're sick and tired of the situation of this world and we go into the kingdom of Adam because we're just lackadaisical or we're just fed up with the situation. But then our faith kicks in and we say, now, wait a minute. I am allowing right now the kingdom of Adam to reign. Well, I am now a new kingdom, rather a prince of a new kingdom. I belong to the kingdom of Christ, and I have power to shut this kingdom down. That is the kingdom of Adam. What a thought that is. You see, Paul has introduced the idea that we are in bondage to sin. Sin isn't, as I have said many times, simply something we do. It's something that does us. King Sin reigns. Sin is a power, a dominion, a force over us. Now then, here we are being told, don't let it be over us. Well, that's saying something, isn't it? It's implying that the you, the you who says don't let it, is the person who is in dominion of the kingdom of Adam's dominion. That is in charge, somebody who is over the kingdom of Adam. Well, Christ is over the kingdom of Adam, but we live and operate in Christ. And so we are free to say, I will not allow you to have dominion. Now this, again, let's go to the issue of addiction. Let's take the alcoholic who feels utterly overthrown by alcoholism, defeated by it, and each day he has to face whether he'll have another drink. But instead of facing it on the basis of, shall I do this or not, an action, he's now asking, shall I live in this kingdom or not, because I am free as a prince in Jesus Christ to say no to the kingdom. So while he's tempted to drink, and even has the wine or the beer in the mug, he's free to say, I am not going to let this kingdom reign. Now that doesn't guarantee that he will not take the drink. But it guarantees that he will not come under the identity and judgment of the kingdom of Adam. You say, well, what's the difference, Colin, if he drinks anyway? The difference is the reaction that follows. Because when you have the earthly perception of things without a knowledge of the kingdom of Christ, then a drink will bring you to judgment, depression, grief. fear that you will ruin your life. But if you, by faith, know that that kingdom is broken, your reaction is less traumatic. Oh yes, I failed, but I praise God that the kingdom is finished. I don't belong in it, I don't belong to it, and I assert my relationship with the kingdom of Christ in which I am a prince or princess. This is how we think in a different way. This is how faith operates. People have belittled faith because they have never understood its real power in the mind of a Christian. But we do, because we have heard of what Christ has done. We have seen him break the power of death. We have seen him rise from the dead. Before that, we saw him on the cross, never believing that his father had left him, even though he said, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Remember the thing that he said before he died, Father, into your hands I commit my spirit. Jesus knew. that his life with the Father, innocent, pure, not having come under the power of sin, had defeated the power of Satan. We live in him. We cannot defeat the power of Satan, but we live in him, and our faith is training itself and growing every day, seeking to operate in this way. Yes, defeats will follow, but victories will too, and calmness of soul. and freedom from this endless depression after a failure, so that we know how to bounce back, because the kingdom that we live in is not the kingdom of Adam where there is judgment, but the kingdom of Christ where there is freedom from judgment. So this is, you see, all part of this chapter on dead to sin. It's a totally different way of looking at things and thinking of it all if you are not a man or woman of faith. So Paul having said, therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lust, then says, and do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin. What he's saying here is, do not present your body and all its parts as a member of Adam's kingdom. So when you're facing a temptation, It's really nice and good to be able to say, sorry, I don't belong to your kingdom. I'm not presenting my members to your kingdom. I'm not presenting myself at the door of the kingdom of Adam and saying, at your service, sir. No, I'm not. I'm presenting my body in the service of Jesus Christ. Now, look, don't think of this in terms of you do it. perfectly forever afterwards, or you are defeated perfectly forever afterwards. You're doing it right one time, and you're doing it wrong the next time. But each time you do it, that is, each time you express your faith in the right way, you strengthen that ability. You know, I'm rereading a little book that I ordered from Amazon the other day called Power in Praise. Some of you may know it. Is it Merlin Carruthers? I don't think it's Merlin, but anyway, it's Carruthers by Carruthers. You can find it on Amazon for $9. And it's reminding me all over again what the implications of the Book of Romans are. He doesn't talk about the Book of Romans all that much, but I knew the Book of Romans before I knew this Power and Praise book, and when I got a hold of this book 30 or 40 years ago, I said to myself, oh yes, this is the natural consequence, that is praise, giving thanks to God for the truth and the reality that the book of Romans teaches. You see, in Romans 5 and 6 that we've studied so far, freedom from wrath and freedom from the power of sin, We are talking about what God has done for us, not what we try to do for ourselves, not how we practice. trying to overcome this or that. But what God has done, he's taken away his wrath, taken away his judgment from us so that we have peace of heart and we are reconciled to the heart of the Father and we can enter his throne room without any judgment. And he has broken the power of sin, taken away the sin kingdom of Adam by giving and introducing us to the kingdom of Christ where there is righteousness and life and peace. Well, doesn't that lead your heart to be thankful? Isn't that the first response that we give to God? Oh, thank you, dear God. Well, that's what we need to be practicing, you see, every day. To be able to thank God in the midst of all the foibles and brokenness of this world, in the midst of the disappointments and the depressions, to be able to say, now look, all I'm going through, dear God, all that you take me through that seems to be in the kingdom of Adam is actually in the kingdom of Christ, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death thou art with me. That verse in Psalm 23, the first part, the valley of the shadow of death is Adam's kingdom, and the second part, thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me, is the kingdom of Christ. And so, you see, I am walking in the kingdom of darkness in my natural body, but in my spirit, in my faith in Christ, I am walking with God, whose staff and rod comfort me. They guide me on the road. Though I can't see the path, Jesus can, and he holds up a lantern for me. This is how it is, you see. This is what faith is. Take it. Believe it. Grow with it. It's more powerful than the atom. Thank you for joining me today. Colin Cook here, and you've been listening to my program, How It Happens. This is listener-supported radio, which means that the listener who appreciates the program pays for it, makes a donation. You don't have to, of course. Don't feel guilty if you don't do it. But if you'd like to, and if it cheers your heart to do so, please send your donation to FaithQuest, P.O. Box 366, Littleton, Colorado, 80160, or make your donation online at faithquestradio.com. Thanks so much. I'll see you next time. Cheerio and God bless.
In this inspiring episode, Dr. Dobson and Dr. Hawkins discuss The Nehemiah Code, emphasizing its message that it’s never too late for a new beginning. Explore how Nehemiah's biblical account can inform our approach to leadership, teamwork, and personal growth today. Listen as they highlight the importance of building strong foundations and fostering community to overcome life's obstacles.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, hello everyone. I'm James Dobson and you're listening to Family Talk, a listener-supported ministry. In fact, thank you so much for being part of that support for James Dobson Family Institute.
SPEAKER 01 :
Well, welcome back to Family Talk. I'm Roger Marsh, and on today's program, we're going to hear part two of a fascinating conversation featuring Dr. Dobson and his guest, Dr. O.S. Hawkins, former pastor of the historic First Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, and president emeritus of Guidestone Financial Resources. On our last broadcast, Dr. Hawkins shared about his ministry helping retired pastors through Mission Dignity, and he introduced his popular series of code books that help believers dive deeper into Scripture. Today, he'll take us into the powerful story of Nehemiah, showing us how this ancient tale of rebuilding Jerusalem's walls offers practical wisdom for anyone seeking a fresh start in life. Now, these insights come from Dr. Hawkins' book, The Nehemiah Code. It's never too late for a new beginning. Through the story of Nehemiah, we'll discover timeless principles for starting fresh. whether we're rebuilding relationships, restoring faith, or seeking a new direction in life. Dr. Hawkins will remind us that with God's help, genuine transformation is always possible. And now let's rejoin Dr. James Dobson for part two of this inspiring conversation here on Family Talk.
SPEAKER 02 :
Dr. Hawkins, thank you so much for being with us again today. I love the program we did together last time. And we've got a lot more to talk about related to your book, The Nehemiah Code. It's never too late for a new beginning. And what I... love about this book is that I really love the story of Nehemiah. But I want to take that story back before you start with the book to how we pick up Nehemiah in Babylon. He was a cupbearer for the king, wasn't he?
SPEAKER 03 :
To King Artaxerxes, yes. And the beautiful thing about Nehemiah, what I like to remind people is he wasn't a preacher. He wasn't a prophet. He wasn't a theologian. He was not a theologian. He was a civil servant. He had a civil service job as cupbearer to Artaxerxes with all the fringe benefits, retirement benefits, everything, and he left it all to be the rebuilder of the broken walls. You know, after the death of King Solomon, as you know, the kingdom of Israel divided into a northern kingdom and a southern kingdom. In the northern kingdom, They were ruled by all wicked kings. There wasn't one good king among them. And in 722, the Assyrians took them away into captivity, and they never returned. The southern kingdom— Did Nebuchadnezzar's army do that? No, that was the Assyrians in 722. In 586, then, to the southern kingdom, Nebuchadnezzar came and besieged Jerusalem. in a horrible siege, and they destroyed the city, broke the walls down, burned the gates, and they took the brightest Jewish minds they could find back to Babylon.
SPEAKER 02 :
Daniel was one of them.
SPEAKER 03 :
Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, and others. And they took them back to re-educate them. They tried to change their language. They tried to change their literature. All those things you can read about in the book of Daniel. And so after a period, the Persians broke the Babylonian supremacy. A remnant had returned to Jerusalem to rebuild the walls, and they got so discouraged that they quit. And Nehemiah heard a report that Jerusalem was a reproach, and the walls were still broken, the gates burned. And he went to the king and begged permission to go back to Jerusalem, and he was granted. And Nehemiah went back to Jerusalem. He made a midnight ride on a horse around the walls, and he wept over the ruins. He did. And he began fasting. He fasted and prayed before the God of heaven, the Bible says. And then he moved and mobilized that remnant that was there that for years had left that city dormant. And in 52 days, they rebuilt the city. And there's some incredible evidence. applications there to how any of us, whoever we are, whatever our circumstance, can rebuild our own broken lives. Because as the subtitle of the book says, and the message of Nehemiah is this, it's never too late for a new beginning.
SPEAKER 02 :
And that's exactly what he did and began building the wall. And it wasn't that he didn't have opposition. Sanballat, as I recall, was out on the edge of town, and he was making fun of him.
SPEAKER 03 :
He said if a fox runs up on it, it'll fall down. Sanballat and Tobias and others, he faced incredible opposition. But he kept focused. He kept going forward. The book is divided into several sections of what you need to do to be a rebuilder. First of all, you've got to get started right. And that's what Nehemiah did. Rebuilders get started right. They make an honest evaluation of the situation. They identify with the need. They take personal responsibility. And then they move out of their comfort zones. You know, we live today in comfort zones. Some of us don't have anything to do with anybody unless they're in our socioeconomic level. or political level, or whatever, educational level. So he got started right. Then the second thing he did, he built a team spirit. And that is so vital in rebuilding. He was a great organizer, wasn't he? He was a credible organizer. And if I had a pencil in my hand right now, a wooden pencil, I could easily break it. But if I put two or three together, it's exponentially more difficult to break. We call that synergy. That's what he did. You know, the Bible says if one can chase 1,000, two can chase 10,000. He understood and recognized that we all need each other in the rebuilding process. So he built this team spirit of those around him. He started with his goal in mind, seized his opportunities, and motivated his people to get off a dead center. One of the most important things he did, he was an example himself. You know, the greatest leadership principle I know in or outside the Bible, and there are millions of leadership books, I suppose. But Gideon, in Judges 7-7, he got his army down to 300 people, as you remember, and was going out to fight thousands of the Midianite host with that little army. And the last thing he said to them, he turned to them in Judges 7-7 and said, do as I do. It's the greatest principle of leadership, I know, because eventually, those of us in leadership, the people on our team are going to do what we do. And so this was one of the real secrets of Nehemiah. He was there with them. He was putting those stones in with them. He was building. He was up and down the lines, showing them appreciation. One of the greatest motivating factors in the rebuilding process is to give people a pat on the back. To say they're appreciated. Let them know that they're appreciated. This is what Jesus did. He went around.
SPEAKER 02 :
And do as I do.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, and do as I do. This is what Jesus did. He went around affirming people. Affirmation is vitally important.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, a related passage in Scripture. related to Nehemiah is found in the book of Ezra. And Ezra was a priest. And they got in there. This is a wonderful passage. I think it's in the 10th chapter of Ezra. And Nehemiah had to be close at hand. And they got into the ruins of of Jerusalem and came across the scrolls, and they began reading them, and their eyes were opened to their sin, and they were marrying foreign wives and so on. And there was a platform there, and Ezra got up on that platform. and began reading the scrolls.
SPEAKER 03 :
Just read the Word of God.
SPEAKER 02 :
And their eyes popped open, and they began weeping. If there's a moment in Scripture, or one of them, that I would most like to have been there, is to be there when this repentance, this revival broke out through the people. And they say, we sinned against the God of heaven. And they fell on their faces, and Nehemiah was weeping. And that was the beginning of the energy that helped to rebuild the wall, wasn't it?
SPEAKER 03 :
And as the Bible says, it's not my word, God said, like a hammer that breaks a rock to pieces. And when the word of God goes forth, not just in Ezra and Nehemiah's day, but in our day, When we get the word of God into our heart, it makes a huge difference.
SPEAKER 02 :
Don't you wish that spirit would spring across this country and that people would say, oh, I didn't know that was in the Bible. I didn't know what I was doing. Was that wrong? We have sinned against God. Forgive us, Lord. We repent of our sin.
SPEAKER 03 :
Exactly. And that's really the motivating factor that I have behind all these code books, because every one of them go to the Scripture, because it's the Bible. It's the Scripture that brings conviction. You know, there's a lost word in our Christian vocabulary, conviction. When Peter stood up and read from Joel and illustrated it with some Psalms on the day of Pentecost and preached that great Pentecostal proclamation, do you remember what it says? It says their hearts were cut. They fell under deep conviction, and that only comes from the Word of God. You know, another thing about Nehemiah was how he dealt with, I call it, rebuilders never cut what they can untie.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, I read that, and that didn't ring true to me. I didn't know what you meant by that, but now I do. Explain it.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, you were a little boy in Fort Worth, and so was I. And in my block over on the east side of Fort Worth, there was an old vacant lot on that block. And that was our ball fit. It was like Yankee Stadium to me and my buddies on Crenshaw Street. And we'd play ball up there. And there was one kid that would come to that vacant lot. And he would always have – he had a pair of black canvas high-top tennis shoes. This was back in the 50s when I was a boy. And those shoes would only be laced up halfway up to the top. And there'd be several eyelets at the top unlaced because he was so impatient that when he would get a knot in his shoelaces, instead of taking the time to untie them, he'd take his pocket knife out and just cut them off. And that's the way a lot of people do in relationships. They don't want to take the time and the effort and the energy to untie those knots that get into a relationship. So they just come along. And for some people, it's easier just to cut them off. And that's why they go from one relationship to another, to another, to another. But when you're rebuilding relationships, You never cut what you can untie. Conflict resolution is a vital important of Nehemiah's story because conflict will tear your team apart. It doesn't matter whether it's at church or at home or in business or wherever. And so Nehemiah, there were four things he did to resolve conflicts. And timing was everything. He said there's a time to back off. There's a time to stand up. There's a time to give in. And there's a time to reach out. You know, some of us don't know when those times are. Some of us, all we do is stand up when we have a conflict and just get in somebody else's face and just move in like a bull and a child. Some of us, just all we do is back off, and we never even deal with it. There's a time to back off and seek God's counsel. That's what I mean about it. But there's also a time to stand up for what's right, and there's a time to give in. You know, when we were raising our daughters with all those books from Dobson – I discovered early on that I would a lot rather lose a few little insignificant battles that didn't amount to a hill of beans and win the bigger war. So I gave in on some non-essentials that I really didn't want to, but they didn't amount to anything. So there's a time to give in, but there's also a time then to reach out. And if you want to know the beautiful illustration of this, we were all in conflict with God. As you mentioned ago, we've all sinned and come short of the glory of God. We're all in conflict with God. So this is the story of the gospel. Christ came to mend the broken relationship. Christ came to reconcile us to God. Christ came to reconcile that conflict resolution. And so what did he do and how did he do it? Those four things. He backed off. See him in Gethsemane's garden the night before the crucifixion, neat those old olive trees, backed off, prayed, took in so he could give out at Calvary. If it's possible, Lord, let this pass from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours. Then secondly, we see him after backing off, standing up. He stood up before Caiaphas. He stood up before Annas. He stood up before Pontius Pilate. And then we see him giving in. Nobody pushed him or shoved him up the Via Dolorosa. He went as a lamb for the slaughter, willingly laid down. And finally on the cross, with arms outstretched, we see him reaching out as though he were saying, whosoever will may come. And through him, we can be reconciled to God.
SPEAKER 02 :
And the Lord will forgive and embrace and love. But it requires something on your part. We confess our sins.
SPEAKER 03 :
He's faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.
SPEAKER 02 :
Hey, tell me that phrase again that I said I didn't understand in the beginning. Never cut what you can untie. All right. And related to the strings? Right.
SPEAKER 03 :
Related to conflict resolution. Take the time to untie those broken relationships.
SPEAKER 02 :
What's the next point from your book, The Nehemiah Code?
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, we talk about how Nehemiah let go without letting up. The secret to what he did was his ability to delegate and to use other people. He let go without letting up. He was the master of this. He set clear objectives. Some of us are trying to rebuild businesses or churches. Set some clear objectives with specific tasks if you want people to be on your team. Let them know what to do. Pick the right person for the right job. So often we put the right person in the wrong job or the wrong person in the right job. Somewhere there's a job that each of us can do.
SPEAKER 02 :
Can you imagine Nehemiah setting out to rebuild a wall?
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 02 :
What is it, 14, 18 feet thick?
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, anybody that's been to Jerusalem has seen those stones.
SPEAKER 02 :
And they still last today even though they were torn down.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, he was a builder. And, you know, there's another principle I call yak. I like that. I got it from John Madden.
SPEAKER 02 :
I know about this one.
SPEAKER 03 :
Nehemiah would use this because it's a secret to rebuilding. You know, John Madden was an NFL coach and then color commentator on football games, NFL games. One of the best. One of the best. He coined an acronym, YAC, he called it. Yards After Contact. And it was the amount of yards that a running back, after he was hit initially the first time, how he moved forward, didn't crumble on the ground, didn't fall to the ground, how he kept moving forward toward the goal line. And from the time he was hit to where he went down, that was a new stat called yak. And this is exactly what Nehemiah did, because rebuilders deal with conflict head on. When they get hit, and we're all going to get hit, they don't just crumble or fumble the ball. They keep moving. They keep moving forward. They make some proper adjustments. They keep doing what's right. They rally their troops to greatness.
SPEAKER 02 :
I love that. YAC, Y-A-C, Yards After Contact. Every great runner keeps going when he's been hit. And he carries sometimes three or four or five people with him and sometimes across the goal line.
SPEAKER 03 :
And, you know, we're all going to face opposition. If you're not facing opposition from the devil, you're going in the same direction he is. So we're going to face opposition. And it's all a matter of how we deal with it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Our country is in the midst of conflict right now. And some people have given up. They sit down. Nehemiah did that to start with. He sat down and thought about it. But he got up and went and built a wall. And I think where we are now, we really ought to be doing some of that kind of thinking. I agree 100%.
SPEAKER 03 :
That's what the Nehemiah Code is about. It sets a pathway to us to rebuild anything. What did he eventually do? Did he finish the wall? In 52 days, the wall was completed. He finished strong. And the way he finished strong, actually, was that he stayed off the side streets by keeping focus, and he stayed off the sidelines by being faithful. And, you know, you and I both have seen people that, when they're running the last lap of life, fall on the track. Right. And I don't know about you, and I do know about you, but I know about me also. And one thing I want to do is I want to finish strong. I want to be like Nehemiah, get the job done, finish strong. God's given me a task to do, and that's exactly what I want to be about. You know, there's one of the secrets that I've found in my life. It came from a question that's actually in the Jesus Code, 52 Scripture questions every believer should answer in this code series. And it's the question that was asked in Isaiah 50. Does anyone fear the Lord anymore? Is there anyone who still fears the Lord? And you know, Dr. Dobson, if there is a forgotten subject in the church, it's the fear of God. How long has it been since you heard a sermon on the fear of God? How long has it been since you heard somebody teach on the fear of God? It's a forgotten subject. And the fear of God is not the fear that God is up there and has this big club of retribution. If we say something wrong or do something wrong, he's going to pound us over the head with it. We have to walk on eggshells. It's not the fear that God's going to put his hand on us. The fear of God is the fear that God might take his hand off of us. And if people would just live with that concept every day.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, instead of fear, I don't want to edit the Bible, but instead of fear, I think of the word awe.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, that's the word for fear in the Bible, reverential awe. In fact, in the book of Acts, it says that the early church was walking in the fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit, and they were multiplied. So, you know, they were walking in the fear of the Lord. They were living in this environment of the fear of the Lord that they didn't want to do anything that might cause God to take his hand of a blessing off him. All those Old Testament prophets lived in the fear of God. Noah, by fear, moved the ark, Hebrews 11 says. Moses. But he was going to the promised land. What does the Lord require of you, Deuteronomy 10? He asked him. But to fear him as you go. Joshua got the end of his life in chapter 24. His last words to his people. Now then, fear the Lord and serve him in all faithfulness. The Proverbs woman, 31. We bring her out every Mother's Day and make all the women feel guilty because they can't measure up to her. But the secret of her life is way down in verse 31. A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. It's all through the Gospels.
SPEAKER 02 :
It is.
SPEAKER 03 :
Everywhere throughout Scripture. It's all through the book of Acts. It's all through the epistles. Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord, the Bible says. In fact, this is the way that we keep from sin. Proverbs 16, 6 tells us that by the fear of the Lord, one departs from evil. You know, there's a supernatural principle there that if you walk in the fear of God, he'll keep you from sin. What about Moses at Sinai when he talks about the fear of the Lord? It's all through the Bible. It'll keep us from sin. When we're walking in the fear of the Lord. God gives us a supernatural ability to overcome our sinful desires. I'll tell you something else he'll do. He'll give us supernatural wisdom to know the Word of God you're talking about a moment ago. Psalm 25, 14 says, By the secrets of the Lord are for those who fear him, and to them he'll reveal his covenants.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, I heard my dad say many times that never forget. And never doubt that the universe has a boss. Exactly. And he's not a winking, blinking grandfather who gives you everything you ask for. But he calls us to righteousness. Exactly. He calls us to stand for truth.
SPEAKER 03 :
And that same God hasn't abdicated his throne. His eyes still run to and fro over this whole world to show himself strong in behalf of those whose hearts are fixed on him.
SPEAKER 02 :
That's what worries me about our country because we have forgotten that fear, that awe. No question. And it's all through scriptures. If you read it, it'll speak to you.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, no doubt about it. In fact, I would challenge your listeners that in your normal devotional time, every time you come across that concept, fear of God, circle it in your Bible, you'll be shocked. how many times it's there. And again, if our listeners today could just understand that the fear of God is not the fear God's going to put his hand of retribution on us, but the fear that he might take his hand of blessing and anointing off of us. And if we'd walk in that environment, it'd make a difference in what we do, what we say, where we go, and all those things of life. And we'd understand, as Nehemiah, that it's never too late for a new beginning.
SPEAKER 02 :
You are preaching still today in many places, aren't you?
SPEAKER 03 :
I am. In fact, I just ran into some of your friends at Scottsdale Bible the other day, and I preached at Michael Youssef's. Jay Snyder's a wonderful guy. I just was out at Church of the Apostles in Atlanta with Michael Youssef. I preach at First Baptist Dallas, my old church still, four or five times a year. Dr. Jeffers is so good to have me back. And so, yeah, but this is God has enlarged my coast. And I'd encourage people if they want to know more about all the code books or mission dignity to go to OSHawkins.com and they can get all the information.
SPEAKER 02 :
Let me remind people of what they are. You've written the Joshua Code, the Jesus Code. The James Code, the Daniel Code, the Believer's Code, the Christmas Code, and the linkage between all of those and the Nehemiah Code is taking a stand for what's right and what God has to say. Put it into your words. I'll put it into Joshua's words in Joshua 1.8.
SPEAKER 03 :
This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night in order that you may do all that is written therein, and then you'll make your way prosperous. Then you'll have good success. So these codes are just about getting us, not getting us into the Word of God, but getting the Word of God into us.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, one of the great pleasures of what the Lord has allowed me to do here is meeting people like you who come in, and I learn from every one of you. And you have been a blessing to me today, and I know to all of our listeners. The title of the book we've been talking about is The Nehemiah Code. It's Never Too Late for a New Beginning. Dr. O.S. Hawkins. You took a lot of time to come and be here. Thank you. Let's do it again. I'd love to. Thank you so much. God bless you, friend. Thank you, brother.
SPEAKER 01 :
Well, just like Nehemiah's careful work of rebuilding Jerusalem's ancient walls, we too are called to be rebuilders in our own time, whether that means repairing broken relationships, strengthening our communities, or restoring what's been lost in our culture. You've been listening to Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk. and a hope-filled conversation about rebuilding and renewal featuring Dr. Dobson and his special in-studio guest, Dr. O.S. Hawkins. Now, if you missed any portion of today's broadcast, or if you'd like to share it with a friend or loved one, visit drjamesdobson.org forward slash family talk. That's drjamesdobson.org forward slash family talk. And once you're there, you'll find the complete program, both parts one and two, along with information about Dr. O.S. Hawkins' book called The Nehemiah Code. And by the way, if you're looking for more practical ways to strengthen your family, we've partnered with the Bible app by YouVersion to bring you free, easy-to-use reading plans that fit your busy schedule. Each plan offers Dr. Dobson's trusted insights on marriage, parenting, and family life delivered right to your phone or tablet. Ready to get started? Well, simply open the Bible app and then search for Dr. James Dobson or JDFI, more family talk, and discover resources that can transform your family one day at a time. Well, I'm Roger Marsh, and from all of us here at Family Talk, thanks so much for listening. Be sure to join us again next time right here for another edition of Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk, the voice you trust for the family you love. This has been a presentation of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute.
